Let me start my blog with something close to me, my poetry, well one poem anyhow. It is soooooooooo fitting with how I feel as of late that I need to share it.
Dancing With a Fiery Torch
To risk and chance is what we face
or tomorrow shall never arrive
the world spins around me
taking all the sunshine
replacing it with night,
with sadness,
with tears.
To cry over another?
I could not owe to one that pleasure
but the tears that fell were salty
for myself.
Once again been played the fool
'tis a paradox really...
like a nightengale you whisk into the night
and the world is a gmae
and the cards are dealt wrong
and the storm's surmise and laughs
laughs in your face
as do the lovers that leave.
Original poem by Cougz
I cry myself to sleep at night, it's almost a nightly ritual. It's been going on longer than I can admit.
Thought it was because I needed to leave my job....so I did that. Yet still I cry.
I am not as tough as I want to be. I cry for the friends I no longer have...why did they forsake me? I'm sorry I cannot be happy for you with your upcoming nuptuals when I saw doom from the start and never an inkling of happiness. But you're silence after being inseparable for 5 years straight breaks my heart.
I cry for my son who IS the best thing in my life, who suffers from acne and shyness, who has learned from his mother to wallow away your sorrows in your work and give up a life, friends, social interaction.
I cry for family, I miss them so much. Moving here gave me employment, a decent place to live, but took me 2000 miles away from them (yes my dad lives across town but I rarely see him).
I cry for myself. For finally admitting last night that I am lonely. I miss male companionship. I miss hugs. I miss kisses. I miss cuddling on the couch with a blanket to watch a movie. I cry 'cause even when I fell in love, I was still lonely. I didn't "feel" the love from him, but I had someone and I loved cooking for him, dressing up when I would see him, and really just having someone there.
I cry because I am fragile.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by poeticcougar:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| I Cry Myself to Sleep at Night |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
butterfly943
|
Nov 23 @ 7:40PM
|
|
Oh sweetie I can really feel your sadness..im sorry you cry..I to miss male company it this time of the year it make me see I am truly alone 
|
|
oceanlover734
|
Nov 23 @ 7:48PM
|
|
This hit home for me in a major way. Thank you for sharing your vulnerbility because many of us have the same thoughts.  ~*~
|
|
funisnumber1
|
Nov 23 @ 7:50PM
|
|
Excellent poem Cougz. 
Moving here gave me employment, a decent place to live, but took me 2000 miles away from them (yes my dad lives across town but I rarely see him).
This is familiar to me. Do we get club pins?
|
|
kywonder
|
Nov 23 @ 7:57PM
|
|
|
You know I thought I was the only person who could be in a crowded room and still be lonely. Nothing is as painful as the loneliness in your heart. I finally had to learn that I could not depend on people to give me my happiness. I had to depend on me and God.
|
|
MetryTechie
|
Nov 23 @ 8:00PM
|
|
Awwww, Cougs. I am at a loss for words. I don't think I could come up with any that are fitting. I feel for you and am sorry you are down. I will lift you up in prayer, my friend...if that's ok. If there is anything that I can do; if you need an ear to bend, I am here for you. 
|
|
summerbreeze916
|
Nov 23 @ 8:41PM
|
|
Such a wonderful poem, but I'm so sorry you're down......  I hope things get better for you soon.
|
|
gunn12fan
|
Nov 23 @ 9:16PM
|
|
|
This is a beautiful poem.. and I can understand where your comeing from
|
|
fenderchick
|
Nov 23 @ 9:33PM
|
|
Now you made me cry because I love you and I don't want you to cry...
This poem was beautiful...Even more so because I know it came from your heart
|
|
EmmeS61
|
Nov 23 @ 10:29PM
|
|
Oh how I feel for you my friend. I have been there, sometimes I am still there. But I have come to realize that there is a difference in being alone and being lonely.
Alone I can realize all that I am and where I need to learn and grow. I can focus on the positive and learn to change the negative.
Yes, I still need to reach out to others... my children, my family, my friends. But I believe that it is not until I truly am content with ME, that can I find true happiness with another. It's a long road...
Your poem is beautiful and so are you... don't cry... believe in you.
|
|
1frantastic
|
Nov 23 @ 10:51PM
|
|
|
Beautiful poem...and yes...I cry with you and for many of the same reasons....I truly do understand....crying releases the poison...so we can be pure....so cry...I cry with you...cry with me too....
|
|
WSOR
|
Nov 23 @ 10:51PM
|
|
|
Prayers & *HUGS* to you Honey. This poem hit home with me as well, & if not for my faith in God & my dear friends here in MD I'd be a mess. Around the holidays is where I especially see how lonely I am.
|
|
maggiemae684
|
Nov 24 @ 12:41AM
|
|
|
cougz this breaks my heart.....I have walked a similar path in the past and am there beside you in spirit now, holding you up, trying to take some of the pain away.
|
|
ManishBoy69
|
Nov 24 @ 5:46AM
|
|
|
Many times I have cried... my son, my wife , my best friend, my aunt that was more like a mother than my mother, many loses in this life sweetheart. However, its worth every tear to experience every laugh, every joy, every moment that makes this life bearable. God uses us for his purpose and knows what is best for us, ( who or whatever YOU happen to call God) Crying cleanses the soul honey, be happy you can cry, and your true happiness will be right around the corner, waiting to hold you, waiting to hug you, waiting to kiss you, ready to love you for the rest of his life... Be well, big heart, be strong.
|
|
|