"I hear Satan forgot to pay the heating bill", says my friend.
"Why, I bet that's it! This "boiling lava" is barely room tempertaure, it's even a little chilly", says I.
"Oh man! Now that's hell"!
There's a sign as you enter hell, "Number One In GeoThermal"!
...and they are, what with the molten rock and the steam vents alone, you wouldn't believe it 'til ya saw it. Which is why, when ya get to hell, the first thing they make ya do is go on the "tour". You know, a little history, some fun facts, some pretty heavy "the joke's on you" stuff, and a big comedic ending, like that old joke, "coffee break's over, everyone back on their heads"....only worse.
After your tour you report to "assignments" where the line is about 23 years, possibly 24, long and then you find out you have the wrong form.
When you finally get the assignment,"boiling lava and pictures of your ex", you find out it's way on the other side of "only white bread and no Grey Poupon".....
"What could be worse than this"? My buddy cries.
"Well we could be on MatchDoctor.com tryin' to weed out the hookers and the ho's, tryin' pointlessly to discern between the peddlers of flesh and the puddles of flesh, in the vain hope of meeting a real person who compliments our personality and lifestyle".
His tortured face goes blank with renewed misery.
"We did that"? HIs lip begins to quiver.
"Yes, we did" I say, looking up...
"Oh man! Now that's hell"!
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