Moving On.... posted 11/23/2008 10:29:53 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: breaking up, relationships, moving on

1frantastic

The following is a letter I had to write for me before I could move on...names are removed to protect the guilty....

Dear xxxxx, I have been thinking a lot lately about your "distancing yourself" from me. I understand how you need someone close to you...in distance and to be able to touch also....I need this also, but do not have the same "probabilities" or prospects that you do...so, I am at a disadvantage in the "dating dance." You had an "adventure with an old flame" which turned out to be a "Dear John" for you. I am sorry it didn't work out as you had hoped. You told me how the two of you had so much in common and loved to go fishing...and f**ng.. You have had me "as a side dish" for a long time. We actually connected, I thought, and shared some wonderful moments from morning till night and all through the night also. Your touch was so loving... I have never felt that before, and I am so thankful for allowing me to be the recipient of that. I kissed your shoulder in back while you slept as a gesture to show I truly cared for you...just a gentle bit of love flowing from me to you.You did heed my request that you give me notice when I should not be anticipating a call from you...I know you need to watch your money so close and do not like to call me until after 9 p.m. your time, even though it is after 11 p.m. mine, I wait up for you. And I was thrilled when you were actually calling me from the parking lot while you ate your ice cream cone in the middle of the day just to share with me! That made me feel special.....it doesn't take much though.You got very upset with the computer and my trying to explain why you couldn't message me on two different windows to my one computer at the same time without resulting in a cut off of sound to me even though you could hear me. And you told me you didn't call because you were talking to "the other lady" and it was too late. But when I left message about my mama and I needed to talk to you, you called even though it was after 1 a.m. my time, which I did appreciate. But the tone of your "consolation" was more of a "duty to a friend" than that of one who loves me. So, when I ask you how you feel about us and our relationship, you avoid any commitment even as much as referring to me as your girlfriend....so that you won't feel guilty when pursuing other women who may be able to "fill your immediate needs"...You favorite reply is, "We can't know what will happen." Well, my dear, I do know what can happen...you are going to lose a very good thing in me because you don't want to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance. I took that chance way back in July when I came up to zzzzzzz to spend an evening with you. As things played out, I was deeper involved with you, but was cautious to see how you felt about me. I kept my "dates" with two men after I left in August from you. I needed to know how I would feel with someone other than you.....and I found out. You pursued women in return as if a "payback"...although you would say I was still number one...they didn’t compare to us and what we had, you didn't seem to want me exclusively...You always refer to it as past tense..."HAD", never "HAVE"......duh! How stupid of me to not notice before now!!!Well my dear xxxxx, you will HAVE MEMORIES of what we HAD...and perhaps for the first time, you shall be losing someone who DID NOT reject you...but instead you threw away for lack of guts to show any real feelings of commitment even if for a short period of time...we never have forever!!! We only get what we can enjoy at the moment...so go enjoy your moments....without me....I am so sorry you are such a coward for failing to realize what we HAD. I can be without someone...I have been for a long time...and thus want to be special to someone so badly...but to be the one that puts a twinkle in their eye...the one they want to love, protect, adore above all others....and sadly to admit....you don't feel that way about me...Hope you do find someone you can adore...not just "get along with", like your ex-marriage....but at the rate you are going...not going to happen.

This is a poem written by jesyka on POF and it speaks for me too....just wanted to share it with you......

stronger women live hard lives 2
So lonely it can get at times
Yet so lovely some moments can still
The pain and disappointments
Even if just for little while

Comfort comes in knowing
That cycles move the ebb and flow
Although today may seem insurmountable
Who know who'll come knocking tomorrow

We can soften all the blows
Who's horror heaven only knows
By taking control of the moments we live
And treating ourselves like gold...

Who is at fault is no longer important
What is left from the fire is our life
It needs to be loved and nurtured
For many a beautiful thing is born of strife!

I loved you xxxxx, but you didn't want to hear it so I never said so.....I only wish you had of loved me... and not just wanted me to move up there and get a job and apt so you could have me as a mistress on the side! I wanted to be the full meal...will no longer be your snack!

Bon Appetite mon cher!
yyyyyy

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Blogs by 1frantastic: Cave men? Thanks! I needed that! (remember that old commercial?) Write???On here??? Soulmate? Who I want in 2009.... Trash and treasure of holidays.... "My Sweet Vidalia" remembering yesterday! "You may not post to this person's blog because of your demographics" Now tell me again..How did y'all break up? Don't Take Away My Dream! Sing your own song...no more time to squander The Kissing of Frogs.... Moving On.... Hast thou caught thine limit? The elusive dream.... Death is painful to the living..... Unrequited love..... Invitation to Alpine Mountains Why I Love You Will I Always Think of YOU??? A Silent Treatment Back in Texas....finally