Avoiding the Chat Trolls posted 11/24/2008 2:09:44 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: chat

Gary51hwd

Chatting is a wonderful thing, and internet chat rooms and blogs have become the new public forum for expression of every sort of idea and criticism. They have some universal laws, very few really, and then some have rules of their own, sort'a like a club or fraternity.
Popping into the chat room to say 'hi' to friends, old and new, has become the modern equivalent to popping into the pub for a pint. Except without the people, or the pint.....Infinately cheaper, but somehow less gratifying.
On top of that, most of these dark places are ruled or "Sat Upon" by seemingly nice, but potentialy vicious trolls, who can lure you in with niceties to enslave you, or grind your bones to make their bread. They tend to hang out in groups of three and frequent the chat rooms because a regular room won't hold all three of them unless it's a banquet hall or soccer stadium.
If they like you, and you play their games they will make the room a comfy place for you to hang out and play word puzzles, but you have to keep the compliments rolling or they get mad.
If you anger them, they'll use the troll network to make you and your name infamous and ridiculed like the red headed step child of the junkyard dogs retarded friend.
Sometimes you can slip in quietly and observe these awesome but ill-tempered creatures, without their noticing, but most of the time they have a sharp eye on the door and listen intently to every comment, like a judge.
There are tales, urban legends, etc, about lonely, unwitting men, who fall victim to these super-sized sirens. Many are never seen again, some escape and become Franciscan Monks, others just wander the streets mumbling into their Thunderbird bottles and compulsively touching themselves.
So, unless you spend a major amount of your time fantasizing about Jabba the Hut's little sister, I'd avoid the Chat Trolls and their denizens altogether.
Remember, the best defense is to limit your exposure, just like the sun...after all, you don't wanna get ChatBurn, which makes you more visable to the Trolls....
I'm currently working on a patent for the ChatScreen line of protectant lotions and sprays, desisgned to shield you against any permanent injury from Chat overexposure, or ChatTrollitis.
Don't feed the chat trolls! Don't be one! Legend has it, they were all beautiful young women at some point, and if you ignore them, some of their beauty returns and they leave the Chat Room.
Of course other trolls rush right in....
Tou've been forewarned!

Gone fishin'......

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