Shameless repost,,,, at the request of a friend. Thanks for the OP KYWONDER
After 44 years of attending Christmas parties in trailers, fields, VFW's and even on occasion, my own home,,,,, I have many Christmas memories. I have rounded off the list, to those that pop into my head, and fit the orginal intent of the OP,,, until I reach number 44. Enjoy, and stay tuned for a follow up on December 26th to add to the list.
YOU KNOW YOU"VE HAD TOO MUCH HOLIDAY CHEER WHEN
16. When you think putting a condom in punch bowl full of egg nog is a good joke.
17. You arrange the Christmas deer on the lawn into two deer humping.
18. You start eating popcorn off the tree decorations.
19. You have put mistletoe in your belt buckle.
20. You suddenly have the urge to go to Walmart for more lights.
21. You find someone bent over the toilet puking, and you think,,,,Damn, that's a nice ass.
22. You make a minora out of road flares, and you are not jewish.
23. You go caroling at the nieghbors, but end up singing Hank Williams Jr. songs.
24. You paint your ex's mini-van to look like a sleigh, with a brush.
25. You put flanel shirts on the wisemen in the manager scene, cause they were left over from the scarecrow on halloween.
26. The Father and the Sisters from the church down the road come by soliciting donations, and you have to write a $100 check because you told the one of the Sisters,,,,, "I'd like to hark in your harold and make you sing".
27. You know how much moon shine to substitute for store bought whiskey in the egg nog.
28. You made jello shooters out of strawberry and lime jello, cause they matched the decorations.
29. You comb the dogs hair to look like the grinch.
30. You are overheard at the church play telling your buddy, "I'd like to bang the Virgin Mary this year. Wait till I get her drunk, then I'll make a move."
31. You think little Jr.s rendition of Silent Night on an electric guitar sounds good.
32. You laugh your butt off, because Grandpa went to the bathroom with the Christmas turkey,,,,, again.
33. You have arranged empty beer cans on the lawn, to spell NOEL. And the letters are 5 feet wide.
34. You make luminaires out of McDonalds bags.
35. You hid a porno in the Rudolf video box, and didn't remember until the movie was half over and the kids were asking questions.
36. You listen intently to 5 guys with spit cups and ball caps explain the significance of Kwansa to each other.
37. You read the instructions for installing a power inverter on a truck, to your brother in law so he can put twinkle bulbs on the car.
38. You find yourself staring at the dumb ass Christmas lights in a field, only to later be told it's the local air strip.
39. You spell bad words on your kids new light bright.
40. You leave Santa a slim-jim and a cold beer.
41. Your brother shouts from the driver seat, "Who is stupid enough to put blue Christmas lights on a car?" ----next sound is a siren----
42. You find all the "BIG" candy canes in grandmas night stand, and you put them back in the kid's stockings.
43. Staggering through the Walmart, you think "RED" vacume cleaner bags is a great stocking stuffer.
44. The whole party goes out into the dark, holding candles, and circle around the nitivity scene. The soft humming of Silent Night, is only broken by a someone shouting,,,,,"It's the f***ing baby Jesus you dumbshit."
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| In response to HOLIDAY CHEER..... |
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summerbreeze916
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Nov 25 @ 10:02AM
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42. You find all the "BIG" candy canes in grandmas night stand, and you put them back in the kid's stockings
Oh my! 
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ladyvampire
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Nov 25 @ 10:05AM
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20. You suddenly have the urge to go to Walmart for more lights, Hey, I don't need an urge to go to Wal-fart, I have money, will go!!!!!
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ragtopcookie
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Nov 25 @ 10:30AM
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Combing the dogs hair to look like the grintch........will that work on cats?.....we have three of them.....hehhehehehe.......cookie
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bardnsage
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Nov 25 @ 10:35AM
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It might work cookie,,,,,
Of course, you need a long hair cat, hair gell, and lots of seditive.
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Josuha
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Nov 25 @ 10:43AM
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Merry Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBoW3RIyz5I
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Jacksonboy
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Nov 25 @ 10:46AM
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Would that sedative be for Cookie or the cats??
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kywonder
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Nov 25 @ 10:47AM
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33. You have arranged empty beer cans on the lawn, to spell NOEL. And the letters are 5 feet wide.
That would be a redneck Christmas Noel bard, and oh my goodness, what a lot of cans. Heaven help you when the wind blows. To grandma's house they blow.
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ceecee1952
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Nov 25 @ 11:03AM
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i confess.... i did #17
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Peabianjay
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Nov 25 @ 11:46AM
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33. You have arranged empty beer cans on the lawn, to spell NOEL. And the letters are 5 feet wide. Amateurs! Did this at university....with empty cases.
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bardnsage
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Nov 25 @ 12:32PM
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Amateurs! Did this at university....with empty cases.
That's impressive. And is a sure sign you have too much Christmas cheer. Thanks.
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bardnsage
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Nov 25 @ 12:33PM
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I confess.... i did #17
Yep, we got a whole new SECTION of rules from the Garden Club for that one.
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GraceUnderFire747
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Nov 25 @ 2:45PM
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19. You have put mistletoe in your belt buckle.
MY personal favorite ... and I'm dying to make a comme -- no, no -- well -- uh-uh, I'm not going to embarrass you in front of all these people...
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