It's over, no more........I'm done!!!!!!!!! posted 11/26/2008 1:33:39 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: family, relationships, changes

cartay25

I seem to be an after thought to all in my family except my son and Dad. I am never informed when things happen until weeks later....and then it's usually because they are discussing it amongst themselves and seemed surprised that I have no idea what they are talking about.

The last few years I have been telling myself (and hearing it from friends) that it's not worth the stress to try to get "IN" with the family. I have tried for so many years to be included and fit in.....only to have my heart broke and my feelings ignored.....I have lost count of the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep. I couldn't even began to describe what it's like to put my heart and soul into a family function only to have it end in tears with feelings of humilation and failure. I don't think it's too much to ask that they treat me with a little respect.

I made one last effort in September when I invited the entire family to a cookout. They came.......my Mom complained because there wasn't enough chairs for the extra people she brought, none of them wanted to see my new home or asked about the renovations that we are doing, they stayed in their own little groups and didn't even attempt to talk to me, my boyfriend or the other guests and were gone in 2 hours time. I cried for a half an hour after they left and was embarrassed and apoligized to everyone for their behavour. Once again I told myself never again.......I was not going to try any more.......I was done trying.

Well, the holiday season is upon us and I knew what to expect but hoped for something better. My Dad and step mom told me 2 weeks ago that they were invited to my sister's home for Thanksgiving.....I hadn't heard anything from my sister. Last week my Dad asked if I was going to the resturaunt with my Mom and the other siblings......I hadn't heard from any of them.

My Mom finally called last night at 10:30 to let me know that they were all going to a buffet for Thanksgiving ( she didn't realize how close it was and forgot to call )........"Did you want to come?" Thanksgiving is such a hard holiday to keep track of. My sister called today to say that she heard from Dad that I didn't know about Mom's plan and was welcome to come to her house if I wanted to. Better late than never......I should feel blessed.

I am sticking to my word.......I am done. I told them both that friends asked us weeks ago to come for lunch and some other friends invited to come by in the evening for leftovers......so I was good. We are doing Thanksgiving with Tiny's family on Saturday and we will get together with my Dad and step mom later. It still breaks my heart but that should heal over time.......at least I am not giving in with the hopes that I can change them. I will spend my time where I am welcomed, wanted and loved........I won't put any more energy into something that makes me miserable.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate........may you have a wonderful day.......I know I wll.

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