Today, I had that very interesting conversation with my friend, about why some people feel the need to get drunk or stoned, and then sit around and commiserate about all the terrible, terrible things that have happened to them in life.
 
And why there are other people who did live through just as many or just as much terrible things, but don't need to get drunk or high....
Of course, we didn't find an answer to this mystery.... 
But it made me think of the book I'm just reading, which is about randomness... 
Why are some people successfull when others aren't?
Often, they are not better, not smarter, nor anything else "more".... than the others. But they do succeed while others sit in their recliner, sip that drink and whine because they didn't "make it". 
We all know success and failure.
But why, why, WHY.... do some people so much better than others? Even with the worst start in life imaginable? Even without support? Without help? Without special skills?....
Those who have studied randomness know that wins and losses are random, if the fight has been fought by two equally skilled and strong parties.
You flip a penny at random, and each side has an equal chance for being up, or down. Random in this case is 50/50.
So WHY do some succeed????? (Especially in love... since that is the topic at hand here, in blogland, isn't it?)
Because..... they keep trying.... 
Therefore..., lonely people, don't give up!
Keep your head and your profile up.
Keep trying....
The chances are great (50/50) that you will find this special ONE, if...
.... if only you keep trying....
.
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read more blogs!
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callmemax
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Nov 28 @ 2:29AM
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maybe it is just like real estate--- location, location, location,,, being in the right place, at the right time. or not...
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TroutFishing
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Nov 28 @ 2:30AM
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we are the sum total of our choices.
I decided that i didn't want to spend my life in a bar or drunk,
so I didn't start.
There is no one soul mate out there - there are choices.
2 have to choose each other. Then they have to choose to
let that other remain as wonderful ever day.
We only have to keep searching until we find.
There IS no trying - only DOING. Some things
just take longer to DO.
  
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ragtopcookie
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Nov 28 @ 4:17AM
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This blog got me thinking about all my years of being single...of the women ive dated .of the two or three ive accually thought about starting a life with....get married again....but for me.....there was always something.....i saw in them.......or a side i saw after many months of dating...that just stopped me in my tracks about wanting to comment to them.....i use to think it was them....but now i see it was me.....i just think i wasnt ready to try it again.....ive always told myself i never wanted to be married more than twice.....never wanted to collect wifes.....i guess i wanted to get my kids raised and out on their own......saw many mixed families that didnt make it....and i just wanted a fair chance of marriage working for me one day....well...the time is now.....one raised and one about to be.....i guess you can say its all in the timing.......cookie
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Peabianjay
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Nov 28 @ 6:47AM
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So...so....if I keep flirting shamelessly with you, Travel, I will inevitably succeed! Good to know! *wink*
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oceanlover734
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Nov 28 @ 7:50AM
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Anyboby that I know that has really "made it" or "done well" seem to have an inner drive and a focus. I also think many people do better in different areas in life better than other areas. Some put all in to their career and not personal or vice-a-versa. I think you're right though success comes with keeping on trying. Just some how more of a drive within to get there.
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alivenwell351
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Nov 28 @ 8:49AM
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.... if only you keep trying....
Someone commented there is no trying, only doing...ultimately this may end up being the case once one finds their niche..
However trying sometimes means "failing"...sometimes even through no fault of their own, but more often than not from a bad or wrong choice, or just getting one's self in over one's head. But if one learns from their "failures...why and how they "failed" and learns from it...tries to to not make the same mistake(s) again, doesn't become so discouraged that they give up and quit trying...keeps plugging away, I believe odds are much better than 50/50 they will finally find their niche...and it's all uphill from there!!!
Very nice blog...
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scorpiogirl36
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Nov 28 @ 10:02AM
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we are the sum total of our choices.
Trout said it best but I'd like to emphasize....attitude and responsibility play equal parts in how we deal with life and circumstances surrounding it. The key to being a success is to keep a postive outlook.
If you think you can, it's more likely that you will.
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goodcatch57
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Nov 28 @ 11:19AM
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A very small and rubbery guy gave the best advice about success I've ever heard:
Do...or do not, there is no try. Yoda has always been an inspiration.
It's all about drive and persistence. Toss in a few pounds of will power and you can't loose.
I fail to see the "drunk and stoned" aspect however. We wouldn't be having this conversation if it were not thanks to those 2 big stoners Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
And music would still be Slim Whitman if it were not the mind expansion of drugs that propelled a generation in a new musical direction. In fact many historians believe that hallucinegenics are widely responsible for our last technical revolution.
Pretty sure we wouldn't have Lava Lamps, Black lights or most of the best music from the late 60's until it died in the 90's if it weren't for LSD.
And if not for the drunks...well we got one for our last President and you all see where that got us...should a stuck to weed George, look how well Bill Gates did.
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sloriver
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Nov 28 @ 11:32AM
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Successful people are always high energy. Recliner sitters seldom are. To be successful you have to have some intellegence and judgement, but after that it's all hard work and the right choice on how to work. You can make money working with your hands or with your mind. Working with your mind is much faster. It's the same on MD. You write some blogs that let people know who you are and there will be someone who's attracted to you get in touch. If you only post a profile and wait you might be here for a while.
Of course, I'm not rich so maybe I shouldn't be listened to.
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travelwoman
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Nov 28 @ 12:53PM
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To tell the truth, I believe that the 50/50 picture can be bent...
Keeping on trying is the number one recipe to success...
But also learning from past errors.... AND adjusting the picture...
I think THAT propells people ahead of the pack.
Those who have the "inner drive" to continue, to continue hard, to keep trying harder.... those will succeed in the end.
Did you ever wonder how people who ended up sitting in a wheel chair still "get something out of life"?
Those who do keep trying.... keep trying to live..
They are a great inspiration to me
.
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butterfly943
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Nov 28 @ 2:37PM
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.... if only you keep trying.... That sums it all up with just about everything in life
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travelwoman
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Nov 28 @ 4:23PM
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I did not mention God, yet, and the power of prayer....
I suppose nothing IS random, but our perception is that of randomness.
Random success or failure, random getting there or wrecking on the way, random choice in love....
Yet, when seen from the point of view "with God", there cannot be anything random.
It shows again the smallness of us humans.... We need to understand, we study randomness.... at least I do..... The amazing thing with randomness is that there seem to be laws.... which makes it NOT random anymore....
I was first surprised by "laws of randomness" when, years ago, I had a boyfriend who was a musician. He advertised his services by "random mailings". In Switzerland, mail boxes are accessible to everyone for putting things INTO them. We would make flyers and stick them into ... say... the mailboxes of one city block. Or he would make flyers and a cover letter and send it to... say... one hundred elementary schools.
The result was always the same: 2% positive returns
The other "law" is the one I mentioned in my blog: persistance. Which could maybe yield the same result.... 2%.
Maybe God would have "made" our so-called randomness at 2%????
And He lets us believe that it is random, when in fact it is His laws.... 
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AttractedCentaur
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Dec 1 @ 5:15PM
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Hmmm ... very deep thoughts here.
First, let me say I do not drink to get drunk (but I do like an occasional drink from time to time), I do not get stoned (or anything else) and I try very hard not to commensurate about the bad things in my life.
Now, as to how successful folks are - I beleive it is a combination of "randomness", luck, "being in the right place/right time" and one's own tenacity for getting ahead.
Everyone has their own standard where they think they are successful. Some think having a lot of money, a big house, loads of possessions, etc. are what it means to be successful. I personally think it is where you are happy, have loved ones who care about you and you are "well off". Being "well off" means different things to different people, but to me, it means you have your needs taken care of.
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imlost2
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Dec 1 @ 5:28PM
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Success means different things to different people you can be ever so rich and be the saddest person in the world. Success means setting goals for yourself and achieving them. If your goal is to live in a small house on a small piece of land and you are happy doing it, and you reached that goal, who are they to tell you, that you are not successful? Is it anyone's business? Everyone's comfort zone is different, you can't take wealth with you, you go to your grave naked, with only your mind, and if that is at rest, I'd say your are successful. Take Care Lost
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