Chapter 4
On the way back to the sleigh I spotted the tree I wanted. I stayed beside it while he went to fetch the saw to cut it down. I watched him walking away and thought, “One day that’s the way it’ll be, he’ll walk away and not come back.” I quietly slipped another brick in that wall.
Back at the shop there was people waiting on him. People that must’ve come back here year after year and they greeted him with slaps on the back and easy banter. I wandered off to browse while he waited on everyone.
With the shop empty I noticed that it was nearly dark and it was still snowing. I was anxious about driving home. Alarm must’ve shown on my face as I asked him to please get my tree in the trunk of my car.
I handed him my keys and watched from the door. When he came back in, in just those few minutes he was covered with snow. “You can’t drive home in this Carrie…please, I won’t let you. Stay here with me, I have a bedroom you can use and you can go home in the morning. Please…..” The worry in his eyes tugged at that last brick I’d placed in my wall.
He didn’t have to ask twice. I was scared of what he was doing to my heart but at the moment I was more frightened about driving in the snowstorm.
“I have to put Bell up for the night Hun. It’ll take about fifteen minutes. Would you like to help me or wait here?” I thought it would be fun to help him and ducked out the door with him, our heads down against the blowing snow.
He quickly unhitched her with deft hands and I followed them both through a door in the back of the barn. Her stall was ready for her, something he said he did everyday in the winter…prepared her stall in the mornings so she could come in to fresh warm hay after a cold day.
Picking up a couple of old towels he handed one to me and we began to rub her down and dry her off while she contentedly munched hay. He took the time to brush her mane and tail then put some feed and water in her buckets and he was done.
Looking at me with a smile he asked, “Are you ready to make a mad dash to the house?” A little thrill shot through me as I nodded and took his hand.
Slipping and sliding and laughing we skidded to a stop at his backdoor which he held open for me and I entered a utility room. We stomped off the snow, removed our coats and hung them on a hook. Oh the warmth felt so good!
Entering the kitchen he pulled out a chair and said, “Sit down, I’ll make some coffee. Or would you prefer hot chocolate?”
“Coffee please; I live on coffee.”
A comfortable silence fell between us as he filled the coffee pot and got it going. Pulling a plate from the cupboard he filled it with cookies and set them in front of me. Picking up a cookie, I nibbled on it as I looked around.
His house was nice, homey. It lacked a woman’s touch but it was clean with big rooms as older farmhouses usually have. One thing I did notice was the windows. The old style tall windows had been replaced by big windows that allowed a gorgeous view of the snow covered evergreens that surrounded his house. I could see into the living room and it had a huge window with a window seat. Lovely.
The aroma of fresh coffee filled the kitchen as he sat a cup in front of me and took a seat across the table with his own steaming cup. He let out a long sigh and I noticed the tired lines around his mouth and eyes. He caught me looking at him and smiled and I couldn’t help smiling back.
We sat there and talked for hours. He made a second pot of coffee, made us sandwiches and we talked. I hadn’t intended to tell him much but he made it so easy.
We had both been dumped on, left for a new partner and we both were blindsided by it, unsuspecting and stunned into a world so painful it was still hard to talk about. I looked at that face and couldn’t imagine leaving him. I couldn’t imagine anyone better or nicer or, well…sexier. I could feel my face color at that thought.
After his divorce he’d dated a few women but none touched his heart. Partly he’d kept it guarded but mostly none stirred him. Most didn’t like the farm life. Some wanted to just take over and overwhelmed him. Eventually he stopped dating and devoted his time to his work.
He had two sons but neither of them wanted any part of the farm. They stayed in touch but they weren’t close…their Mother had been at the bottom of some of the problems so now he just waited and hoped they’d figure out on their own the lies she told.
I too had dated and in spite of lacking trust in men after my divorce, I was gullible and needy. Being alone cut me like a knife. I had no children. Not that I hadn’t wanted them but it just never happened. I was an easy target to be used and I was several times. Then I met David and he swept me off my feet. We dated for six months and became engaged.
Then I caught him in a lie. He was cheating on me and I was crushed. I kicked him to the curb and constructed that brick wall around my heart never intending to take it down. Still didn’t for that matter.
It was late and we were both yawning so he showed me to an upstairs bedroom with a bath across the hall. He disappeared then came back with one of his pajama tops and a robe. Handing them to me our eyes met and there was an awkward moment.
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