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~~Do You Know The Front From The Back Of A Tree?~~

posted 12/3/2008 9:18:06 AM |
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tagged: joke, redneck, tree
  kywonder

A redneck from Georgia decides to travel across the south to Virginia to see God's country.

When He gets to Franklin, he like the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job!!!

He walks into the international paper company office and fills out an application as an experienced log inspector. It's his lucky day!!! They just happen to be looking for someone, but first, the log foreman takes him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows

The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree.

"See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."

The redneck promptly answers, "That thar's a white pine, 383 board feet of lumber in 'er'

The foreman is impressed!!! He puts the truck in motion and stops about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger window and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.

"That's a loblolly pine and she's got about 456 clear board feet."

The foreman is really impressed with the good ol' boy, he has been quick and got the answers right without using a calculator!!!

One more test. They drive a little further down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his drive side window and says, "and what about that one?"

Before the foreman finishes pointing, the redneck says, "White oak, 242 board feet at best."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a little ticked off because he thinks the redneck is smarter than he is.

As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks Bubba to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there? I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree!!"

The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot, how would he know which is the front of the tree?"

When Bubba reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk.

He walks back to the foreman and hands him the chalk. "That thar's the front," the redneck says.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the world do you know that's the front of the tree?"

The good ol' boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, "Cuz somebody took a crap behind it!"

He got the job and is now the foreman!!!!!!!!

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by kywonder:
~~~Twas The Month Before Christmas~~~
~~~Let Me~~~
~~~The Master Card~~~
~~Testing Your Ability to Figure Things Out~~
Flatulence Tax
~~~Forrest Gump Explains Mortgage Backed Securities~~~
~~~Forgetter Be Forgotten~~~
~~~~Kentucky Girls~~~~
~~~The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets~~~
~~~The Wooden Bowl~~~
~~~~The Shell~~~~
~~~~Drafting Guys over 60~~~~
~~Do You Know The Front From The Back Of A Tree?~~
Pirates of the Seas
~~~Elderly Road Trip
Wondering
~~~Morning Funnies~~~
~~~What Will I Be Known For~~~
~~~Waiting Under The Starry Nights~~~
~~~Thanksgiving Divorce~~~
~~~Some store closings~~~
~~~Thanks From My Heart~~~
So long
~~~Come Run With Me


Comments:
goodgurlgonebad

Dec 3 @ 9:53AM  
Wasnt expecting that at all.....was great thanks

Tammy
teacuppoms

Dec 3 @ 10:03AM  
IamTrinity

Dec 3 @ 11:09AM  
It makes sense to me, but what it the one that took the dump was an exhibitionist, and he/she saw someone was watching? In that case it would have been the front of the tree.
butterfly943

Dec 3 @ 11:09AM  
pinkypaula2

Dec 3 @ 12:04PM  
ya gotta luv dem redneck jokes
Etowah

Dec 3 @ 6:27PM  
Loved it!
summerbreeze916

Dec 3 @ 8:08PM  
If it squats, it's a female! You can tell how it squats which side is the front and which is the back. The male? Just watch which way the arms point down and around.....
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~~Do You Know The Front From The Back Of A Tree?~~