Hello to all my MD friends,
Yes, it's that time of year again. The Holidays.
All the pretty lights on the houses, the smell of wood smoke in the air when you go outside. The lit up Christmas trees in the houses, you can see through their windows.
All the tinsel, ornaments and lights are on the tree here too.
Something is missing. Someone is missing. Yes, my son. How I MISS HIM!!
I bought 2008 ornaments for the tree. (I didn't want to put it up this year, but I did for my grandson). I took Jason's tree out to the cemetary yesterday, and wired it up on his tall sheperds hook. It about killed me!! 
I'm trying my best to understand the reasoning of why he's gone. Why he's not here. I can't find any!!
I'm also trying to figure out this mess I'm about to tell you. I'd planned on this man being with us for Christmas too, but he's not going to be here 
The ex b/f has been coming around the last few weeks. I called him tonight. I haven't seen him since last Sunday morning. I just got a text from him, "Im back with dawn, don't call me again". This woman has put him in prison, jail, made him try to commit suicide.
He comes from a WONDERFUL FAMILY! A very well known family here in town. I guess all familes have their share of problems. His Mom is my best friend!!
I can't even go over and see her when he's like this with this other chick. She's the biggest whore in town. She's using him for his money. He even told me that, but I'd already known. She brags that she has "2 boyfriends that pay her rent, buys her things, and pays for her drinks when she's out every night." When will he learn?
Why does he keep going back to her? I don't understand this either. He sat in my living room last Friday night crying, "I don't want to be with her, I'm afraid she's going to kill me". She beats him up constantly. She scratches his face all up. Makes him bleed. Why does he keep going back. What is the hold she has on him. He told me he's afraid she'll put him in jail again.
I loved this man with all my heart for over 4 yrs.
I CAN'T AND WON'T do it anymore!!!! I told him in a text message back to him, "Don't come knocking on my door when you break it off with her ever again"!
I have so much going on here, I don't need their problems in my life too!! He needs to grow some "nards" and be a man and do what "he" has to do. I can't do it for him 
I'm tired. Sick and tired!! I have a back surgery coming up. I can't deal with this crap any longer. 
Thanks for letting me vent!
Jini
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| It's that time of year again! |
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MrPaul
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Dec 8 @ 12:13AM
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Its a crazy world out there. Just do the best you can and hang in there and enjoy your grandson. I know its hard without Jason. I will be praying for you Paul 
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kywonder
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Dec 8 @ 12:23AM
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Oh Ponie, I am so sorry for your pain. While I have not lost a child, I have lost some grandbabies. My heart aches for you. Just know that God knows your pain. While words don't always help, I will be saying a prayer for you that you will have some peace in your life before you go under the knife. Take care and Have a Merry, Merry Christmas if you can.
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funisnumber1
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Dec 8 @ 7:18AM
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 Words fail me at your loss. I'm better with hugs and listening. Just remember to take care of yourself and your health, and hopefully you will have the strength to carry all of these painful challenges. I pray you find loving and steadfast hearts to be with this holiday.
Noel
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summerbreeze916
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Dec 8 @ 10:26PM
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Ponie.....I wish I could carry some of your pain for you. I know it's got to be the hardest thing ever to lose a child. My thoughts and prayers are with.
I'm sorry to say about the other matter, though.............LET GO! He is not worth it, believe me. You did the right thing in telling him never to knock on your door again when it doesn't work out with her.........and guess what? Take some consolation in knowing that it WON'T! 
I hope we have helped you in some small way........
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