Continued to 2nd email.............
I went out to the living room, took an ornament off the Christmas tree with his picture in the ornament frame, held it and held onto his trapper. I couldn't put it down. I'd asked matt to bring me my purse, I had to take my meds, I couldn't deal anymore. He stood over me, watching me take my pills. Afraid I was going to overdose! He then took my purse back in my bedroom with him. I had no control over telling him "no".
Carah and her boyfriend came home. I showed Carah. She seen the very same thing.
The week before his accident, he told Matt that he had an angel standing next to him while playing basketball. Hmmm....
Did he know he was going to leave us ??
I don't know....maybe, maybe not...but I feel in my heart he did Why didn't he come and talk to me about it??
My night got better when I needed something to read and I had to go to my house to get my books in a snow storm and Matt went with me. No electricty in the house, no heat...LOL
I did a 180 in the parking lot here, because Matt said I couldn't...LOL, and it made me feel REALLY GOOD. Something Jason would have had me do, and he would have begged and begged me to until I did it..LOL
I got a block away from the house by the school and matt says, Mom, can I drive, Please? I said No, it's snowing cats and dogs, see we just missed a cat flying into our windshield......
I eventually within a minute or so, let him drive. I know, it's illegal, but oh heck, somehing for fun.
My house is only 3 blocks away from where we live now. I stopped in the middle of the road and his face lit up, he knew I was letting him. Only live once, right?!?!?! He jumped out, I slid over into the other seat and he started moving forward towards the stop sign and stopped, I said, what are you doing..( i was afraid he was gong to try to do what I did in the parking lot. He says..."safety first"...and put his seat belt on....LOL He did a GREAT job!! hes only 14 you see. Hence it being illegal....hehe He made it to the house and he drove exellent!!
We had to use my lighter to get into the pad locked door, and then I used it to find the kerosene lanterns I'd let over there. (no room for them here yet, and I don't want to store them in the basement)
He was shoveling snow, I was making light!
We fumbled around in the house for a while. I had him carry a few things out to the van for me. He also loaded his coat pockets down with things he'd found in his bedroom...lol
He got to the van and started it up, he wanted to drive home. He got Jason's "John Deere tractor blanket" and carried it to the van also. I didn't want it over here, but he did, so it came with us. '
He drove home here, and did a wonderful job again, until we got to the alley by the apartments and he drove around the couple cars in parking lot and sped up and whipped a $hitty, they call them.( a donut, 360)..I screamed....don't hit joanne's new van...watch out for the apartments.....he stopped inches from the apartments,....I had the ride of my life...will I do it again....PROBABLY
it was something my other son would have done, but was hilarious and something I needed !! There is so much of my other son in my other children here on earth to Love!
I think I was pulled to that storage room for a Reason! 
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read more blogs!
Blogs by poniepower:
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| Last Night...A Messege from Jason? Part 2 from email sent to friend......... |
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DisAsianGuy
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Dec 10 @ 12:58AM
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Haha, I had a good laugh, thank you. I've lost many friends and a recent one but never have I lost a family member. To lose a child, now that pain is something that I cannot grasp through imagination nor something I want to. I hope you well, the empty hole in your heart to be filled with something else and that your loved one, a better place. You seem like a great parent, I envy your kids, keep up the good work :]
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mystery2u888
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Dec 10 @ 2:01PM
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 Ponie ...........sweetie thank you for sharing this........it's a wonderful tribute to your son and your family ........what you have endured ......in the last couple of years............you have his memories of everything........that will hold you always .......and you know he is there.....watching over you 
xoxoxo
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misschoos
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Dec 10 @ 2:06PM
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Tunes4u
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Dec 10 @ 3:04PM
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lacyvsq
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Dec 10 @ 3:14PM
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I haven't read your posts for quite some time, but I am glad I read this one.
I firmly believe our loved ones reach out to us from beyond. I think you are absolutely right that your son had a premonition of some kind that he would be departing this world and now when he knew you could handle the knowledge, he led you to the message. Let him hold your hand and continue to be a part of you -- not the loss part, but the fun part you can still share with his siblings.
Death can be so very painful to those of us left behind, but it is something that is a continuing part of life and something that each one of us will experience. Jason is not blotted out. As you wrote, you heard his living whisper and you see him in your other children. Enjoy and enhance those presences. It won't take away all the sadness of not seeing him grow to be a man, but it may bring back the fun that he brought to your life.
Blessings!
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Loreli
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Dec 10 @ 6:05PM
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SpiritOrnery
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Dec 10 @ 6:18PM
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Yes, looks like he knew.
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Fender
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Dec 10 @ 7:11PM
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happygrlok
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Dec 10 @ 7:27PM
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teddybearagain
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Dec 10 @ 8:16PM
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I cried,
I laughed,
Now, ....I sit and smile
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imlost2
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Dec 11 @ 8:11AM
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As I finished reading, Jason's memory seems to live on..............great story tc Lost
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butterfly943
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Dec 11 @ 12:32PM
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I think I was pulled to that storage room for a Reason! I am so sure you were  Bless you
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poniepower
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Dec 11 @ 4:39PM
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I wish it was a story...but it was VERY REAL!
Thank YOU ALL!!
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