| No mind games... they make my brain hurt |
| about myself: |
I'm a 30 year old female, from boring ass Oklahoma. I can be really crude (is that even a bad thing?), and can do a mean pole dance if given enough liquor.I'm tall (I feel like the Green Giant in heels, can't explain the green tinge though, so don't ask I'm really sensitive about it -string bean anyone?) , I have long blonde hair (and yes it's natural.... I think?), blue eyes (they go kinda disco ball glittery when I'm in a hexing mood - pretty enjoyable to watch while popping acid - I'm told) my weight doesn't matter (we all know the computer adds 10 lbs)
I love to cook and bake, it's very therapeutic. Everything is all measured out for you, thank you Betty Crocker. I can also cook a mean lasagne, thanks to Stouffers.
I enjoy horseback riding (practice is practice - no matter what your riding),watching tv (well what you can watch of it - ugh).I like to write (not good at it, but it's fun). I'm the reigning champion of Nude Hopscotch and Connect Four. Would have had it for Trivial Pursuit but for an unfortunate incident that we won't go into today..... How the hell was I supposed to know that Alfred Hitchcocks film "Psycho" is a thriller and not a comedy? Isn't it all in the way you look at it???? I enjoy reading romance novels (Lisa Kleypas is a goddess).
I like to play around on the net, internet sex is always fun, especially when the connection gets severed. That just makes my day!!!
And what I said was true,well except for being the reigning champ of Nude Connect Four,I was runner up,but won't be for long if the hitman would do his damn job,I didn't say that, and you can't prove it.
I did an almost exact replica of this profile on EHarmony and Match.com and didn't get one response - can you believe it?!?!? It's really hard to fit all of who you are in just a couple of paragraphs.I think my profile speaks for itself... don't you?
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| willing to relocate: | No |
| marital status: | Divorced |
| seeking relationship: | Casual dating, Friendship, Long term relationship, On line chat, "Intimate" activities, Whatever works |
| looking for a match: | within 100 miles of Norman, Oklahoma United States |
| Appearance |
| eyes: | Blue |
| hair: | Dark blonde |
| hairstyles: | Long & lush |
| body type: | Curvy |
| height: | 5'6 (168cm) |
| weight: | 150 lbs (69kg) |
| bodyart: | Ear piercing(s) |
| Background |
| education: | School of life |
| ethnicity: | Caucasian |
| speaks: | English |
| religion: | Other |
| Lifestyle |
| smokes: | Average smoker |
| drinks: | Rarely |
| living status: | Social household (family and/or friends over often) |
| has children: | No |
| wants children: | Do not want children |
| job: | Self-employed |
| about my work: |
| I am the person who keeps everything running smoothly. I guess you could say I am a personal assitant. I also do data entry for my fathers company. I am training to work at the police station, I thought it would be the best way to get out of tickets if I slept around with the cops.. what do you think?? |
| income: | $35,001 to $50,000 |
| political position: | Don't really care |
| Qualities |
| activities: | Antiquing/collecting, Board games/cards, Cars/motorcyles, Crafts, Computers/surfing the web, Gardening, Home improvement, Movies, Museums/arts, Music/concerts, Reading, TV, Shopping |
| attributes: | Funny, Caring, Communicative, Family Oriented, Generous, Honest, Humble, Intelligent/Bright, Low Maintenance, Opinionated, Organized, Positive Attitude, Problem Solver, Respectful of Others Opinions, Self Confident, Sensitive, Trustworthy |
| my idea of a great date: |
Not planning anything at all. Just agreeing on a place to meet that is comfortable for both parties. I like to talk so I can get to know the other person, so maybe somewhere quiet, but somewhere that I feel safe (on the first few dates).
I don't feel like getting wacked on a date, it's depressing to know that my personality got you to the point of wanting to knock me off. It's hard enough to date without the threat of death looming over you.
I am a cheap date, I like fast food and bad service. Just tell me where you want to go, I am up for compromise.There has got to be a place where you can get a salad and I can get my steak and potato.
One rule of mine is that I don't meet until I am comfortable, if this bothers you, think about if it was your sister on a dating site, would you want her to just meet any old guy before feeling comfortable? I've met enough crazy maniacal people in the last few months that I have adopted this new rule, the guy with the reverse mohawk was interesting, but I was expecting an accountant.
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| the person I would like to meet: |
You have got to have a sense of humor (if you don't get my profile and feel the need to call police, I am NOT the girl for you), can entertain yourself (So why are you locked in the bathroom for that long?) not ask me to marry you in the first couple of emails (ask me after you find out my last name at least), and can carry on a real conversation (I do not speak text, but I do speak Jive and Pig Latin).
I am NOT into kids. I love kids, but I don't want any. I am not sure about dating people that have kids either.. I do not get along with exes at all, they throw larn darts at me and that will frighten your children... so think long and hard before getting involved with me. Do you really want to warp your children by letting them get to know me??
I hate mind games, they bore me, if that's your thing, don't do it around me, I do detest when I have to tar and feather someone - it gets my carpet all yucky.
If you want to go out with the guys to the strip bar, go ahead, I am not your keeper, but notice would be nice.But remember the same goes for me.
I really like sex, and if you are willing to play around and see what works for both parties, that would be fantastic.I do like romance.
I hate lying, if you got fired, wrecked my car, ran over the dog.. tell me, I will find out anyway. I will have to punish you, and no, I am not talking about that spanking you have wanted all day.
If you are dating someone else, chances are I am as well, don't get all pissy when I say I am.
If you are hung up on your ex, don't use me to get over her, make her jealous, etc.She won't go for it, and we will probably tag team you in the end when we find out about each other.
When I ask for a pic, body shots are ok, but if I ask for a "head" shot, lets make sure I get the one I was asking for.I will try and specify to which one I am interested in seeing :)
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| Ideal Match |
| hair: (low) | Black, Brown, Dark blonde, Dark brown |
| ethnicity: (high) | Caucasian |
| hairstyles: (low) | Above the ears, Bald or shaved, Other |
| attributes: (low) | Adaptable, Attractive, Caring, Communicative, Family Oriented, Generous, Honest, Humble, Intelligent/Bright, Low Maintenance, Opinionated, Organized, Positive Attitude, Problem Solver, Respectful of Others Opinions, Self Confident, Sensitive, Strong Integrity, Trustworthy, Funny |
| speaks: (high) | English |
| body type: (low) | Athletic / Toned, Average, Big and beautiful, Curvy, Few extra pounds, Full-figured, Heavyset, Muscular, Stocky, Other |
| has children: (high) | No |
| height: (low) | 5'8 (173cm) to 7'0 (213cm) |
| willing to relocate: (med) | Perhaps, if it was for the right person |
| wants children: (low) | Do not want children |
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