| I'm not fakin', nobody like Saint Bacon |
| about myself: |
I am happily married to a wonderful woman...who fortunately responds to the medication I slip in her coffee every morning to keep her thinking I'm the best thing since honey-baked ham. I'm only here to enjoy the forums with friends. So unless you happen to be Miss Piggy...or Helen Hunt...I'm not interested in anything but friendship.
I get a kick out of chasing old ladies through parking lots on my motorcycle, stealing the neighbors morning paper and wandering the streets in the nude pretending to walk an invisible dog while crooning Slim Whitman songs. I've rarely been jailed and am on good terms with the local mental health care folks.
I'm a bit warped, piggish and much better looking in the dark! I swill beer, smoke abandoned cigarette butts and like picking my nose. Yeah, I know...I'm making you hot...but like I said, I'm happily married...find your own damn pig! My main goal is to make it through life without ending up in a package of Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. |
| willing to relocate: | No |
| marital status: | Married |
| seeking relationship: | Friendship |
| looking for a match: | within 50 miles of Manhattan, Kansas United States |
| Appearance |
| eyes: | Blue |
| hair: | Gray |
| hairstyles: | Above the ears |
| body type: | Stocky |
| height: | 6'0 (183cm) |
| weight: | 300 lbs (138kg) |
| bodyart: | Hidden tattoo |
| Background |
| education: | Associates degree |
| ethnicity: | Caucasian |
| Lifestyle |
| smokes: | Light smoker |
| drinks: | Socially |
| living status: | Living with partner |
| has children: | Yes |
| how many: | Two |
| about my children: |
| Grown and Gone |
| wants children: | Already have one/a few and no more |
| job: | Management/Consulting |
| income: | $50,001 to $75,000 |
| Qualities |
| activities: | Antiquing/collecting, Cars/motorcyles, Gardening, Home improvement, Reading |
| attributes: | Organized |
| my idea of a great date: |
| Wallowing around a clean mudhole with someone who brought the beer. Rooting around for truffles. Slipping my wet snout under unsuspecting women's dresses and then running like hell. |
| the person I would like to meet: |
| Miss Piggy (if she ever gets over her frog fetish), or Helen Hunt (not sure she dates outside her species though) Other than that I'll just keep the one I've got...she's a good 'un!!! |
| Ideal Match |
| attributes: (low) | Caring, Honest, Intelligent/Bright, Low Maintenance, Sensitive, Funny |
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