issues issues, I'm going to buy you all a box of tissues...  
I thought I would write a blog tonight. Maybe not. I think my talents are best served standing at the MD door handing out tissues. There's way too much crying from all corners of the internet tonight....More...

12 comments | 2 kudos | 206 views | posted Oct 18, 2009 at 8:17 PM

Here... let me (literally) give you a hand.  
The other day I complained about the money I believe is wasted on science. Shooting rockets at the moon in order to determine if there's water on it. So what if there is? Who (the fook) is going to ma...More...

3 comments | 0 kudos | 64 views | posted Oct 17, 2009 at 9:15 PM

We buried Cleo today...  
Things went according to schedule. Surrounded by family and friends, aunt Cleo was put to rest around one o'clock today. Probably 150 people showed up at the church for the service. Unlike previous fu...More...

7 comments | 3 kudos | 89 views | posted Oct 16, 2009 at 11:00 PM

"Are you stupid?? Pull your God damn pants up !!"  
My friend in North Carolina was in line at the grocery store and the kid in front of him was wearing his pants around his buttocks with boxer shorts. While he was wrestling to get money from his walle...More...

17 comments | 7 kudos | 206 views | posted Oct 15, 2009 at 9:09 PM

There's a special place in Hell...  
I'm pretty sure there's a special place in Hell reserved for Hummers and luxury car drivers who park their cars diagonally thus taking up 2 spaces in a busy parking lot... in the mean time any owners ...More...

6 comments | 1 kudo | 88 views | posted Oct 15, 2009 at 12:33 PM

Christmas decorations already? That's pushing it too far...  
I went to the mall tonight to buy a suit for Cleo's funeral Friday morning. To my amazement, a few stores are already displaying Christmas decorations.
It appears Christmas has officially eclipsed Ha...More...

9 comments | 0 kudos | 127 views | posted Oct 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM

BORED CERTIFIED...  
That's not a typo. A billboard on the roadside was advertising the new walk-in ER and their physicians were board certified. I was in a humorous mood (as usual) so I changed board to bored. I g...More...

8 comments | 2 kudos | 114 views | posted Oct 13, 2009 at 8:21 PM

Reason to lie for someone  
I was on the highway yesterday and two cars literally flew right past me going 100+ miles per hour !
This reminded me of the time I was 17 and riding in a friends sportscar. It was a Lotus Elan 2+2 c...More...

4 comments | 2 kudos | 89 views | posted Oct 12, 2009 at 10:43 PM

Scientists will soon be looking for water on Uranus...  
Why stop at the moon? If you can convince someone in the government we 'need this' they will appropriate lots-o-money for future missions.
I'm not saying we should abandon all space exploration, I'm ...More...

5 comments | 0 kudos | 70 views | posted Oct 12, 2009 at 12:30 PM

Cleo has passed on...  
I just got the call. Cleo quietly passed away 11:15am. My ex-wife spent the morning at the nursing home. Now they are awaiting the coroner to take the body away.

For those who didn't know Cleo, she...More...

16 comments | 1 kudo | 160 views | posted Oct 11, 2009 at 12:00 PM