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countdown4
34-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 25 - 45
Leeds, England, United Kingdom
Last Activity: 1 week ago
 Gemini
Gemini Singles
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| today is the tomorrow that you worried about yest |
| about myself: |
| OK Lets get this thing started, i enjoy life very much with family and friends, I got a wicked sense of humour, i say how i see things, i curse, i swear lots, i drink socially, don't smoke, love shopping (NOT) when i was born my mum looked at me and then looked at the afterbirth and screamed bloody hell Ive given birth to twins and its alive, i was that ugly when i was born the nurse that delivered me held me upside down and burst into tears, slapped me acroos the face and put a diaper on my face, i cant begin to tell you where she stuck the dummy, when i was just 3 weeks old i learnt to walk, i had no choice the bottom of the bloody pram fell out, that's why i got long legs, when i was a kid my parents moved around lots, but in the end i always found them, it was only when i got to 13 yrs of age that i found out my name was not "shut up you muppet",if i was a twin id be used for spare parts, even as an only child i was never mums favourite, you know for me being a kid at school was a hard thing to go through cause i had no friends at all so every-time i wanted to have a go on the sea-saw i had to run from one end to the other, that's why little lonesome no friends me is on here, Listen whatever you do don't invite any drug addicts around for boxing day lunch, they may find the offer of cold turkey a little offensive, Talking of christmas have to tell Winoa Ryder there is only another 57 shop lifting days till christmas so i think you should hurry up and get my shopping list sorted, just drop off in the usual place and make sure you dont get F&£%&%G caught this time, Yesterday i saw this chicken cross the road, so i asked why did you cross the road? so it said F&£K off you muppet and mind your own business, did you know that Queen Elizabeth 11 is the head of a very dysfunctional family, shit if she lived on a Leeds council estate she would be jailed for child neglect |
| willing to relocate: | No |
| marital status: | Single |
| seeking relationship: | Friendship, Long term relationship, On line chat, Whatever works |
| looking for a match: | Anywhere |
| Appearance |
| eyes: | Green |
| hair: | Black |
| body type: | Athletic / Toned |
| height: | 6'2 (188cm) |
| Background |
| ethnicity: | Caucasian |
| Lifestyle |
| smokes: | No, don't smoke |
| drinks: | Yes! |
| living status: | Living alone |
| has children: | No |
| wants children: | Maybe/Undecided |
| job: | Self-employed |
| about my work: |
| i am an ex prison officer, have been now since January last year, the trouble with working in the prison service or should i say the home office, it was like screwing a porcupine, its a hundred pricks against one, dont know who but someone said that about Warner bros, Anyhow as for my work i now have a small car valeting business and i love it, just cant beat being your own boss. especially with all those tax perks hehehehe, its turned out to be a nice change of career, its lots better than i thought it would be after 7 yrs working in the prison service, the only down side about my car cleaning business is the bloody English winter, and we are fast aproaching winter, i hate the bloody cold...did you know that work is a refuge for some people who have nothing better to do, you know i certainly don't like work even if someone else is doing it, I'm so against work i wouldn't even take a blow job, one of the problems with being self employed is that sexual harassment is a problem, i just dont get sexually harassed, but its so much fun working for your-self except for when i call in sick, then i know i am lying but all in all i love work, it really fascinates me. i can sit and look at it for hours, one job i always wanted was to be a bar tender at the betty ford clinic, i can do any amount of work as long as its not the work im supposed to be doing, if at first you dont succeed then dont take up skydiving for a living, success means having to worry about every damn thing in the world except money, if at first you dont succeed then try try again then quit, no use beeing a damn fool, i should be working in a job that has some aptitude for - like donating sperm to an artificial insemination lab, ok about my work, all in all my work puts food on the table, gives me nice house and puts a little money in my pocket and holidays abroad, and i enjoy it all, so what more do i need |
| Qualities |
| activities: | Bars/pubs, Computers/surfing the web, Dinner parties, Family/children, Movies, Museums/arts, Music/concerts, Outdoor activities, Sporting events, Travel, TV, Video games, Wine tasting |
| attributes: | Funny, Active, Adaptable, Adventurous, Athletic/In Shape, Caring, Communicative, Family Oriented, Generous, Honest, Low Maintenance, Outdoorsy, Positive Attitude, Respectful of Others Opinions, Self Confident, Trustworthy |
| my idea of a great date: |
just go with the flow, see where it takes you but enjoy the experience, enjoy it all.....now at the end of the day what really is a date?, its just like a job interview, but there again how many job interviews do you go to where at the end of the night you might just end up naked, why is it a man on a date always wonders if he will get lucky when the woman always already knows he doe's not stand a bloody chance, i think i should date a homeless woman at least it would be so much easier talking her into staying over for the night, you know when it comes to women i have no self confidence at all, even when they say yes to a date i always tell them to think it over, id love to have a stalker, at least id know they were there for just me, I'm all for this computer dating but i would not want to marry a bloody computer, now once after chatting to a woman and exchanging phone details she txt me and said "well big boy why don't you come on over to my place, there's no one at home" ooh so im come over all giddy like it was my bth/day, so i eagerly raced over to her place and she was right, no one was home not even her, I'm single by choice, not my choice, i am a great believer in Olympic sex, once every 4 years, i once dated a female clown and the first time she gave me oral, it was very very bloody painful, she twisted my penis into a poodle shape, you know i once made love from one o'clock to five past two, then i realised they just put the clocks forward, you know Sting is always bragging about how his sex sessions with his wife Trudy can last up to eight hours at a time, f*****g hell just imagine how long he would last if she was good looking, he once told Bob Geldoff he could last for eight hours but what he didn't tell him was that included, a movie, dinner and 5hrs of begging, And finally, its OK to laugh in the bed room, just as long as you don't point.
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| the person I would like to meet: |
| i want someone that will make me feel like i am 20yr old on my 85th bth/day, i want someone that's not as whacky as i am, god help the universe if that was to happen, i want someone that does not look on me as a cross between a leper and deadly nightshade, i dont want someone that listens to relaxation tapes of the rain to keep them calm and all the time they are worried in case they left the bloody car windows open, i dont want someone that allows her 14yr old daughter to smoke at the dinner table in front of all her 14yr old daughters kids, i do have standards, i admit they are low, but i have them, i want someone that thinks the meek shall inherit the earth but not the mineral rights, i dont want someone that's an electric eel in a pond full of goldfish, i dont want someone that's buried three husbands while they were just taking 40 winks,i want someone that isn't going to give me an ulcer, i dont want anyone that eats broken glass and wears barbed wire as jewelry , i want some-one that realises i am a biological creature, just like a jelly fish or a tree or the wind in your hair but more less likely to clean the bathroom and does not think its the end of the f*****g world, i do want someone, but if i dont find someone, the someone thats just for me then its not the end of the bloody world..... |
| Ideal Match |
| attributes: (med) | Trustworthy |
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