| YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF........... |
| about myself: |
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...........
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11 Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized , because your father
made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on
the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood , and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation , because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
|
| willing to relocate: | Yes |
| marital status: | Separated |
| seeking relationship: | Casual dating, Friendship, On line chat, "Intimate" activities, Whatever works |
| looking for a match: | Anywhere |
| Appearance |
| eyes: | Blue |
| hair: | Light blonde |
| hairstyles: | Other, Above the ears, Bald or shaved |
| body type: | Slim / Slender |
| height: | 6'0 (183cm) |
| weight: | 150 lbs (69kg) |
| bodyart: | None |
| Background |
| education: | Bachelor's degree |
| ethnicity: | Caucasian |
| speaks: | English |
| religion: | Christian / Protestant |
| denomination: | Methodist |
| attend ceremonies: | Some weekends |
| Lifestyle |
| smokes: | No, don't smoke |
| drinks: | Socially |
| living status: | Living with roommate(s) |
| has children: | Yes |
| how many: | Two |
| about my children: |
| Grown and on their own. |
| wants children: | Already have one/a few and no more |
| job: | Self-employed |
| about my work: |
| Sales and Engineering |
| political position: | Liberal |
| Qualities |
| activities: | Antiquing/collecting, Board games/cards, Cars/motorcyles, Crafts, Computers/surfing the web, Dinner parties, Family/children, Gardening, Home improvement, Museums/arts, Music/concerts, Sporting events, Travel, Volunteer work, Wine tasting |
| attributes: | Active, Adaptable, Adventurous, Caring, Communicative, Family Oriented, Generous, Goal Oriented, Honest, Humble, Intelligent/Bright, Organized, Positive Attitude, Problem Solver, Respectful of Others Opinions, Self Confident, Strong Integrity, Trustworthy |
| my idea of a great date: |
Not necessarily a quiet, out of the way hideout, but not the Mall on Saturday afternoon either...I would like there to be a pretty good crowd around tho...I tend to observe how others treat total strangers...Congenial?..or confrontational?
Just some goofy stuff here....
How Blonde Was She???
She was Soooooooo Blonde
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.'
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'
* She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home..
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
|
| the person I would like to meet: |
A lady who can just be herself, this is not Hollywood, it's the real world, just be real....email me at dubya700 at ya hoo . com
|
| Ideal Match |
| drinks: (low) | Never, Socially |
| ethnicity: (low) | Caucasian, Native American |
| speaks: (high) | English |
| height: (low) | 5'0 (152cm) to 6'6 (198cm) |
| religion: (high) | Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant |
|
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