| Oct 29, 2008 @ 8:54 PM |
Limericks
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,352
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There once were some rhymes they called limericks
Repeated by smart men and dimwits
They're easy to make
A real piece of cake
Until you get to the last line.
===Note to Mod:===
If you see this, can you let us know if really really nasty limericks are allowed. There are so many great ones, I would love to post!
Please post great limericks here. But please don’t post the really nasty ones until we get an OK from a Mod!
Thanks. 
Bonus:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket
The man followed the pair to Pawtucket
The man and the girl with the bucket
He said to the man,
You're welcome to Nan
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket
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| Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:47 AM |
Limericks |
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Strata2007
Posts: 209
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A young man dining at Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
or wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too!"
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| Nov 1, 2008 @ 2:10 PM |
Limericks
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,197
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There was a young lady of Guam
Who observed, "Oh, the sea is so calm!"
She swam out for a lark,
But she met a large shark...
Let us now sing the 23 Psalm.
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| Nov 1, 2008 @ 2:10 PM |
Limericks |
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,197
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Oops! Double post. Guess I have to do another one.
There was a young lady named Alice
used a dynamite stick for a -- naw, can't do that one.
On the bridge stood the young Duke of Buckingham
thinking of t*** -- no, can't do that one either.
There once were two ladies in Birmingham,
Shall we speak of the scandal concering them?
They're both in the Dock
for tickling the -- shoot, that one almost made it.
A certain young lady named Myrtle
amused herself with a sea turtle.
But oh! 'Twas phenomenal
when her swellings abdominal
revealed that the turtle was fertile!
[Edited on 11/1/2008 2:20 PM]
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| Nov 4, 2008 @ 5:27 PM |
Limericks
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,197
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The arts are dead in America; after today, it's all Obama's fault!
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| Nov 6, 2008 @ 1:04 PM |
Limericks |
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Daviator
Posts: 7,506
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The arts are dead in America; after today, it's all Obama's fault! There once was an artist named Bush
To be president was his one push
Now the country's in debt
With two wars not won yet
If you don't like it you can just shush
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| Nov 11, 2008 @ 1:23 PM |
Limericks
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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The biggest horror story, (joke or not) of all, will be Obama.
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| Dec 24, 2008 @ 7:55 AM |
Limericks |
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Strata2007
Posts: 209
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Ahem... getting back on track.... 
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!' (as heard on Sesame Street)
There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
A limerick fan from Australia
Regarded his work as a failure:
His verses were fine
until the fourth line
?
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| Dec 26, 2008 @ 12:05 PM |
Limericks
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,197
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An unfortunate lady named Nellie
for 2 weeks lay belly to belly.
You see, in her haste
she used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly!
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| Dec 26, 2008 @ 12:13 PM |
Limericks |
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Haban3ro
Posts: 1,197
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Aw heck... What can they do? Ban me?
I've already found a wonderful wife here.
Besides, this one is a classic, and true, about a historical personage (George Villiers, who served in the cabinets of James I and Charles I.)
On the bridge stood the young Duke of Buckingham
thinking of tits and of sucking 'em
While observing the stunts
of the girls in the punts
and the trick of the pricks who were f*@king 'em.
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