| Nov 29, 2005 @ 10:04 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
Seems to me the Rules have changed
certainly since I was a young girl
and even since 29 years ago when I was dating last..
I sit here and look at the profiles
and find really interesting people (in my case men)
I consider contacting them (in most cases don't however.)
And when I do I have a really had time hitting that send button..
Call it Old Fashion
Call it Old School Upbringing
Call it fear of rejection... whatever! !
Now I KNOW this is a Dating Site
I would not be here except for hoping Mr. Right is out there ..
And I also know being here has it's own set of acceptable rules
BUT Several Questions Come to mind here
To The Ladies
How do you Honestly feel about making the first move
Does it make you uncomfortable to do this
For The Men
How do you Honestly Feel about US being the one to initiate contact..
AND FOR BOTH
Does anyone actually READ the Profiles
with the intent of looking for some one
[Edited on 11/29/2005 10:06 AM]
|
|
  |
|
| Nov 29, 2005 @ 12:51 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
skinnybarncat
Posts: 368
|
i think you are expecting too much from this site, men, the human race, and creation.... 
but, that is called hope....delusional as it usually is, that is what we gots.... 
life works for some and not too well for others....
send the email and don't fret over it!.... 
"hug a dog...kiss a frog" 
|
| |
|
| Nov 29, 2005 @ 1:48 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
 I think you are probably absolutely right
I do EXPECT a lot..
I also ACCEPT the fact that I probably wont get it
I don't think that is being delusional just factual
As far as the rest of it (the questions)
Just call me courious (nosy if you will)
as to what other people think..
Concede this May Not be a Good Topic
Oh well it's here ~ No Delete Button
Good News is it will eventually get buried
OH forgot
I did kiss the dog
Will pass on the Frog
BUT WILL send the email 
[Edited on 11/29/2005 1:50 PM]
|
|
| |
|
| Nov 29, 2005 @ 2:52 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
Edelweiss
Posts: 2,253
|
... I am like you old fashion, I cant bring myself to send mail first.
... I do look at the Profiles, when I get mail. First thing I look at, is there age. For some reason I get a lot of mail from the 20 - 35 year old's.
... If someone send's me mail around my age group, I look in there Profile and see what age range they have down. If that age range is 10 years or so younger than me, I dont answer that letter. (guess I should thank them for the letter)
... I rarely get a letter from someone 65 and up.
... Maybe I should just have a good time with someone younger than me. 
... I also get a lot of mail from men in Africa.
... And from men, who are very pushy in there first few e-mails.
|
| |
|
| Nov 30, 2005 @ 7:29 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
surfergee
Posts: 74
|
Dear Cheerios;
In a way I think it's good that you hold onto hope of eventually meeting a nice companion. This is human nature. On the other hand, if you think about all the problems that might come along with that should it occur, you may fondly remember the happy days of your single life. Remember, we are no longer young. Even if he's a good man he's not immune to illnesses. If you add his eventual illnesses to your eventual illnesses you've got double the trouble. You really don't want the bed or the bedside to be your lot in life for the remainder of your days. 
|
|
| |
|
| Nov 30, 2005 @ 10:08 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
Angel54214
Posts: 12,319
|
You really don't want the bed or the bedside to be your lot in life for the remainder of your days.
Today I decided to get up at the foot of the bed just to see if my luck will change and see if life gives me that hope...  In hoping I didn't get up on wrong side of bed... 
|
| |
|
| Nov 30, 2005 @ 3:28 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
You really don't want the bed or the bedside to be your lot in life for the remainder of your days.
Hummm now this is something to think about..
Guess since I just had my physical
and turns out The blood is flowing like a River
And Nothing is growing that shouldn't be
I just never thought about being sick..
Me or anyone else
|
|
| |
|
| Nov 30, 2005 @ 9:02 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
zestful
Posts: 235
|
For The Men
How do you Honestly Feel about US being the one to initiate contact..
Honestly,its the only way I'm going to have any contact on here.Very few women my age or any age for that matter are from Wisconsin.Since it would all be long distance,I dont contact anyone,I just lay it on the line about myself and let folks who are browsing and are interested in me,contact me.
Actually thats a bit of a lie.I did see a ladies profile that I enjoyed and we had many common interests.She had viewed me first and when I read her profile I hit the wink button.I thought I was succesfull in quickly hitting the back button to reneg on my wink.The next day she wrote me,we exchanged emails,talked on the phone for two hours and have become good online friends since.
But.
She knew I loved living where I am and she never had or will have any intention of leaving Florida for Wisconsin.
|
| |
|
| Dec 1, 2005 @ 4:04 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
ClassyandEnglish
Posts: 27
|
I think we have the same expectations due to background and age. But, I guess we must move with the times. However, not to approach someone could be an error in judgement. Interesting that you have found so many prospects, smile.
Yes, I read the profiles, but by now I have come to understand this......
A man of 60 and 250 lbs, who believes his name is Heff...wants an 18 year old to drool all over him....and if she has a job, it would be better, because typically that is what these sights bring out in men, sorry to the gentlemen on the site, and there are a lot of you I am sure. But the ones that contact me are generally not. This is just this weeks opion and could for any reason change, smile.
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 1, 2005 @ 4:05 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
ClassyandEnglish
Posts: 27
|
That is because they would like a green card.... 
|
| |
|
| Dec 2, 2005 @ 12:46 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
Angel54214
Posts: 12,319
|
What happened to Cherrioes! She out clowning around again I bet...
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 2, 2005 @ 7:14 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
Ahhhh nice to be missed
Computer fell Second Place to Feeling Yucky
Been sick ... Guess with with the flu
Among The Living Today... I think
|
| |
|
| Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:31 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
|
cheerioes, i've never had a problem making the first move if i didn't think it was going fast enough (b4 i got married) . it was a lot of fun because i'd send poems i'd written; in two cases, i sent rosebuds. overall, it helped me excel in my work and overcoming my writer's block. i always left a gracious way out for myself if the feelings weren't reciprocal.
i do read profiles bcos of just benign interest (not actively pursuing anything).
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 4, 2005 @ 10:24 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
poems and rosebuds... WOW you are brave..
I might have to throw on a courage badge and get busy..
If I can figure out how to get Un_Busy..
Life in general takes up a lot of time
|
| |
|
| Dec 5, 2005 @ 10:15 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
|
poems and rosebuds... WOW you are brave..
nah. just a diehard romantic. i knew my professors wouldnt say 2 much or b 2 forward because of their positions at the university. one foul word from me would've been awful, so i wanted to be discreet and allow my feelings to be known, too.
try it, cheerioes, it's so wonderful!  discover how u would let that special fella know u have an eye 4 him and go for it! my roommate said she admired me cos i set my sights on my man and went for it.  it was fun, and i liked the way i felt, too.
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 7, 2005 @ 10:09 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
Oh I can certainly relate to admiring you
Guts and Glory.. Deserves Admiration
After something gets started I am a bulldozer..
I can charge on and send
Rose Buds or Laxative Filled Brownies... which ever is called for
But Until then I am a down right Chicken
|
| |
|
| Dec 7, 2005 @ 11:33 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
MuskogeeBill
Posts: 525
|
Cheerios
If I may address your questions. (1) How do men feel about women who make the first contact? Flattered! C'Mon it is a big ego boost for the women why shouldn't be for the men, especially in our age group. (2) Does anybody read the profiles? Well yes, those of us who are acctually looking for a mate do. Some of us are not on the computer for entertainment or ego boosts, we really ARE looking. And ladies there are literally millions of us. Think about that before you come on to the forums and boast about your sex with younger men and your kink rating. At our ages we are looking to enjoy the rewards we have EARNED. Not to find a barbie doll. We want and need a woman that we can LIVE with for our last years. Someone we can relate to. Some one that has proven they are stayers, not quiters. We are old and tired and we want to ENJOY life at last. Now I did not say we were DEAD. Just that we want someone that is easy to live with and we can get along with for the last part of our lives.
Cheerios, sorry for the rant but ya hit a nerve. lol
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 7, 2005 @ 1:23 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
cheerioes
Posts: 119
|
Cheerios, sorry for the rant but ya hit a nerve. lol
WELL THANK GOD ! !
Out of all this back and forth someone who is actually
willing to stand up, be counted and tells it like they see it..
About the nerve ... I hope there wasn't to much damage..
I recommend a glass of wine.. Works wonders for the little aches and pains ..
|
| |
|
| Dec 8, 2005 @ 2:12 AM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know
|
|
LatinButterfly
Posts: 687
|
As a teenager I used to be pretty shy so I feel that if I could step out of my "comfort zone" practically anyone can.
When I was in my mid 30s decided it was time to help things a little bit when I met an older man I was very attracted to and couldn't tell if he really liked me was just being friendly. What I did was rather subtle but I certainly encouraged him and it paid off because we ended up having a relationship that lasted over 2 years. When I became single again I became even bolder and gave a note to someone I thought liked me and he very politely explained he was already in a relationship. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment but eventually I got over it. I've always been a bit of a risk taker so I rationalized it went "with the territory"!
When I first joined here I immediately got so many responses I didn't have time to think about making the first move. Unfortunately, either I didn't like the men who contacted me or we were not looking for the same thing (and it's still the same story...). Besides, because so many men are looking for younger women on the assumption "we" all don't look, well, the way they'd like I felt I could sit here forever waiting to be "found". Sometimes I feel too bored to just "wait" so eventually I began doing searches or looking at the men online and if I saw anyone who seemed compatible enough I'd e-mail them. The truth is that probably most never replied. Sometime back I'd see it as rejection but after re-reading a wonderful book called "Soul Dating To Soul Mating" I have understood that everyone must have a list of "non-negotiables" and if anything about me is in that list I'm not to take it personally. It only means we were not well suited for each other. So now if I write someone and they don't reply I just think he simply was not "the one".
[Edited on 12/8/2005 2:15 AM]
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 10, 2005 @ 2:17 PM |
Inquiring Mind Wants To Know |
|
ongolo
Posts: 8
|
Hi,
I made a lot of contacts, and I have been contacted by ladies. After 3 days I cannot for the life of me rember who started the contact. I had a visitor from the USA here, a couple from South Africa, but in every case it could not work. The reasons for failure were extreme.
But I think, nobody should sit and wait, what the hell, its basically only asii characters on a screen. If it goes wrong, there is always some button to end it or one can say sorry.
And I am in Africa, but I will not go to the USA.
I have to shut up now, for somebody who is here the first time, I have too much of a big mouth. 
|
| |
|
|