| Apr 24, 2007 @ 4:55 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Lovinheart445
Posts: 932
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Stormbay...I have to agree with most of what you said. I'm getting rather cynical, but still trying to have hope that not all women pass 50 are like that.
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 7:09 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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Eldermint
Posts: 114
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I didn't intend for you to take my post so personally, Say_Yes. I think we're saying the same thing in different ways. That need we speak of is relative. However, I do not believe a man has a greater sexual need than a woman and never have. Even if it's true, it doesn't matter, because like you and the other guys have said, the need for caring is there and it's the more important part. I think maybe every guy who's posted feels like that.
So, there really are nice guys out here who do know words with more than four letters and who don't let a proposition be the first thing out of their mouth and who wait to touch until the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, there are also guys who seem to get a perverse pleasure out of sensing a woman squirm because of a sexual conversation. Dumb, just dumb. Foot hurts when you shoot it.
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 7:28 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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I think the need is more for intimacy than for sex, otherwise we women would all be saying
(and I know I'm not saying it...)
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 8:10 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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FeliciVagano
Posts: 2,152
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 heaven....
just saying ...(to no one in paticular)
I can do things a vibrator never thought of.... 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 8:22 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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wiccked
Posts: 4,411
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WHOA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!    
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 8:40 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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FeliciVagano
Posts: 2,152
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wicked games 
just saying...a vibrator only has one head... 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:11 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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Oh, you Italian stallions are just too much!!!!! 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:17 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,789
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I think the need is more for intimacy than for sex, otherwise we women would all be saying
Actually, you are correct in that you (and most women) NEED intimacy more than sex. The typical male, has a greater NEED for sex than intimacy. It is just one of the many ways that men are wired differently than women. I'm not saying that a man has no need for intimacy, but rather that it is much less than his need for sex. A woman's needs are most often the reverse and in similar proportion.
One of the problems between the sexes is that we tend to project our needs to our mate. We assume that since we have a need, that they must have the same need. In reality, it just does not work that way.
Once again, I am going to recommend a great book; His Needs, Her Needs. It gives a lot of insight into how men and women are different.
[Edited on 4/24/2007 9:23 PM]
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:43 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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Actually, you are correct in that you (and most women) NEED intimacy more than sex
I should have been more explicit, I meant women need intimacy more than sex, but I have to qualify that a bit - once the intimacy's provided, I think our need for sex is usually at least equal to our men's, or at least that's been my experience.
The problem with books is that they're too general. I honestly don't care too much about the differences between men and women per se, only the specific differences between me and my man and how we can best fulfill each others' needs, sexual and otherwise. I guess I really am awfully self-centered...
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:53 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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wiccked
Posts: 4,411
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i like games
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:55 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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Especially Wiccked ones, huh?
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 9:56 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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wiccked
Posts: 4,411
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especially with an Italian Stallion...........................
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 10:03 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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Yeah, I can relate to that!! Of course I'm perfectly content with a certain Scotsman, but our happy wanderer has always been intriguing!
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 10:21 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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wiccked
Posts: 4,411
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:05 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Sorry, but I'm not buying for a moment that men have a greater need for sex rather than intimacy. I just think it's not politically correct for a man to actually admit that he has a greater need for intimacy rather than sex. It's not "manly" to say things like that. To which I say: POPPYCOCK!!!!!
You can get what you want - and you can lose what you get. If you have a regular and frequent sex partner, and she moves to the other side of the world, what have you got then? Same thing you had, but without the sex.
If you lose a partner with whom you're truly intimate - emotionally, mentally, spiritually, as well as physically - if THAT partner were to move to the other side of the world, what have you lost then? Someone you looked forward to simply "being" with? Someone whose companionship and conversation were as important to you as breathing itself? Someone whose mere presence could make you forget all about eating and drinking.....
Tell me in which scenario you have lost more, and you'll have your answer as to which is more important.....
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:12 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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Jester, I think that goes along with my feeling about books about relationships, and the differences between men and women - generalizations are always half truths at best. I think you are unusual though, in your selectivity - I hope you find your true love, you've earned her/
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:18 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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Unusual in my selectivity? I'm not sure I follow, Heaven..... 
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:30 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,357
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You, and several other men here, have posted that a sexual relationship without emotional involvement on your part wouldn't be acceptable...from everything I've seen (and heard from my sisters), that's unusual; hence the unusual selectivity.
My experience has usually been that men are pretty ready to hop in the sack at the drop of a hat (or anything else), which seems to support the general theory about men being more interested in sex than intimacy. I'm not saying they won't wait, but I think I can tell if someone's waiting because he has to accept a woman's wamting to wait, and waiting because he feels the need to wait.
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| Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:41 PM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship?
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,902
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You, and several other men here, have posted that a sexual relationship without emotional involvement on your part wouldn't be acceptable. I'm rather comforted by the fact that there are SEVERAL other men here who have said things along this same line. And, truth be known, I've turned away from those wanting a sexual relationship before the emotional connection was there, and will continue to do so. Just not my style. I can much better handle an extremely emotionally intimate relationship with no sex involved, than I could an extremely sexual relationship with little or no emotion involved.
To each his/her own, I suppose.....
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 3:34 AM |
Middle aged men, do you really want a relationship? |
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Lovinheart445
Posts: 932
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I've turned away from those wanting a sexual relationship before the emotional connection was there, and will continue to do so. Just not my style. I can much better handle an extremely emotionally intimate relationship with no sex involved, than I could an extremely sexual relationship with little or no emotion involved.
Jester, I too feel the same way as you do. I would much rather feel emotionally connected to someone before sex, and if that wasn't the case there would be no sex
I'm not sure that it holds true with all women that their need for intimancy surpasses their need for sex. In my case I am enjoying being intimant with a lady I'm dating, but I think her sex drive is so strong that I get the feeling sometimes like i'm being used.
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