| Jun 14 @ 1:44 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one?
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newpatches
Posts: 175
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I finally took a deep breath and decided to tackle the forums...they say one is never too old to learn... 
First I found the "over 50" thread...then  well lookie here, an over 60 one too!! AWRIGHT! 
I'm curious...is there a serious side to being over 60? I mean....what are you looking for...marriage? Co-habitating? Dating only? Are you looking for "fluff" or the real thing?
Do you feel you're so set in your ways at this age as to not be relationship material anymore? Are you fed up with all the casual sex and want something more meaningful?
What do you think your chances are of finding a serious relationship after 60?
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| Jun 14 @ 2:01 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,787
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Welcome NP!!
What I've learned along the way is that life's serious, living shouldn't be. Keeping an open mind generally helps - I'm in an exclusive friends with benefits relationship that's loving, trusting and comfortable, even if we're not the loves of each others' lives. That works just fine for me - he's coming over for a birthday BBQ for my son later on, I'll go to his place for some mutual satisfaction tomorrow. We both like controlling our own remotes.
I'm thrilled to pieces to have him in my life at this level and I'd consider it to be sheer greediness to demand more. He'll help lift sacks if I need it, but I've found that weight training, leverage and a decent hand truck usually work out just fine. I managed to purchase, transport and work in the 65 lbs sacks of soil for my garden on my own...slowly but surely.
Bottom line, this level of seriousness works fine for me - he's 53, and he seems equally content with it - it's about 15 months and happily counting so far.
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| Jun 14 @ 2:09 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one?
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MuskogeeBill
Posts: 538
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In my experience the over 60s are like the rest of MD. They are looking for whatever is out there to distract them from the rut their lives are in. The same as the 20s,30s,40s and 50s are. I think we all are looking for THE one. But are williing to entertain other options till IT comes along.
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| Jun 14 @ 3:34 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one? |
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newpatches
Posts: 175
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I've found that weight training, leverage and a decent hand truck usually work out just fine.
I'm pretty handy most of the time but double surgery in one shoulder and one in the other has taken from my lifting abilities. I did sneak a peek at your profile and took note of the age difference between you and your guy...I wish I had the guts to consider a younger guy but the majority of younger guys contacting me is between 35-45....I just can't do that because I've found we have nothing in common but sex and I want more than that.
So far all I've found the past 5 years is guys that want benefits and can't seem to remember the friends part. I guess I'm just discouraged to the point of 
I've been willing to entertain the options up until recently and I just shut those doors to regroup. I'm tired of being lied to. I can't seem to find a guy that isn't into bed-hopping down the list of all that's offered on these sites...like a kid in a candy store and it's all free!
So I just wondered how everyone else was doing. Maybe I could then figure out what I'm doing wrong..if anything.
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| Jun 14 @ 3:54 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,787
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Probbly not doing anything wrong...I've posted before about my fifty gazillion first dates - it took a couple of years of them before I met this guy, who's as decent a man as I've ever met. Not just to me, but to everyone around him. I hope you find one too... 
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| Jun 16 @ 12:03 PM |
The serious side of 60...is there one? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,329
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Oh....I dont think age is that much of a barrier. Just as much chance of finding someone to suite your needs......as there is in your younger years. Just that with age comes a little wisdom.....(one would hope....  )....so one tends to see through the polava more...than in younger years.
I think there is the same difference.......as to what people are looking for. There are many older men who just want casual stuff and dont want to get too involved.......they enjoy their freedom too much.......are set in their ways....and like doing exactly as they please......without having to consider another person......but still want the intimacy when they feel like it. And there are women ...doing exactly the same.
Then there are those ......who ARE looking for something more concrete and lasting......and the REAL DEAL.....2nd or 3rd or more times around.
Just think the oldies are a bit more cautious.....re their safety and their future security. (JMT's)
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| Jun 18 @ 12:27 AM |
The serious side of 60...is there one?
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newpatches
Posts: 175
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Here I am again....finally. Been so sick with a summer cold and bronchitis and still coughing my head off. But...........I quit smoking!!! Last cigarette was Saturday night and I pretty much don't miss them.... 
Ya know, I'd like to have a relationship without a serious commitment...I mean marriage or co-habitating. I haven't a problem with friends with benefits but I would like it to last longer than 2 weeks for gaudsake!!!
I want companionship...long lasting companionship but without smothering one another. I know that's possible because I've heard ladies talk about being in that kind of relationship. I just never get that lucky....I get Joe-fly-by-night that thinks he's God's gift to women and he needs to spread himself out to as many as possible...make all the ladies happy. Crap on that one!!!
I can find all the benefits part that I could handle if I so choose....it's the friends part that seems to puzzle the guys.......
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| Jun 18 @ 1:44 AM |
The serious side of 60...is there one? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,787
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WB NP! (to the wonderful land of alphabet soup?)
Congratulations and best wishes with kicking the weed out! 
It's about 18 years since I quit - welcome to the wonderful world of freedom! It's fabulous not having to always factor in smokes - even something as (now) simple as a long airplane trip!
And of course, best wishes with finding the relationship of your dreams, whatever it may be - sounds like we're a lot alike, what you describe is what I was looking for too - it sounds so simple, doesn't itMy guy was a faithful and loving husband till his wife passed away, so he's just continuing in a long-standing habit, as well as being the kind of guy who takes in strays, people and pets both. Something we have in common, so a lot of things fell in place (and still are). There are men like that out there, honest...hope you find one too.
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| Jun 18 @ 9:02 AM |
The serious side of 60...is there one?
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newpatches
Posts: 175
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Actually after smoking the biggest share of my life, I was delivered instantly from smoking back in the early '90's...yes, I said delivered...some people believe, some don't. I'm one that does and I don't feel the need to defend it...I just know what happened.
Anyway I didn't smoke for something like 15 years then life got pretty 'heavy' and in a stupid moment I picked it up again....probably back sometime in 2006. I always regretted it but the past 6 months I've had the worst colds that just hang on and I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired...tired of keepin' track of cigarettes..tired of everything smelling like a dirty ashtray...tired of it all so quitting hasn't been too hard...the benefits of fresh air and freedom are wonderful.
Yeah, someday my "Mr. Wonderful" might come along but for now I have other things to concentrate on. I started losing weight back in 2004....lost 90 lbs. Then in 2007 my life turned upside down and for a year I slipped and regained 30 lbs. and now I've lost half that and I'm getting back on track..focusing on my health and I hope to reach my goal by fall. I'm not sure what I should weigh...I'll know when I get there. But for now, I'm back to the gym, walking, quit smoking and I'm off my blood pressure medicine.... I'm borderline diabetic and reaching my weigh goal will pretty much insure me that will solve that problem.
So really...right now I don't need a man throwing a wrench in the works for me...I need as little stress as possible for the time being because I'm determined to finish want I started in 2004. 
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