| Jun 30, 2008 @ 8:45 PM |
Question of thought...
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LadyRain
Posts: 40
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Ok....so you peruse the search thingy and think you find one or two interesting. So you wink and then send a little note. What has happened to one random act of kindnes? You take the time to say something and the other person just lets it go by...ignores you...whatever. It is really getting to be a pain in the arse just to say any thing. Someone please restore my faith in human nature before I just throw in the towel.
Don't want to be negative....just wondering if we are all just wandering in a sea of delusion??? 
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 1:04 AM |
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signme
Posts: 12,588
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Many men hate the winks. So they won't respond to them. I kinda like them myself. As for the note, they may read it or just look at your pic and decided to answer or not from the pic. Guys are rather strange sometimes. They say they don't understand us but I tell ya, we do NOT understand them either.
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 4:19 AM |
Question of thought...
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callmemax
Posts: 19
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anybody that doesn't take the time to respond to a wink, note, or any kind of intitial contact, doesn't have any manners. the absence of response says more about their character than any amount of words. or not...
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 6:27 AM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,621
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anybody that doesn't take the time to respond to a wink, note, or any kind of intitial contact, doesn't have any manners.
Really? My profile says pretty clearly that I'm not looking; do I need to say the same thing in an email? And of course we have the spammer/scammer contingent too. I did get a kick out of the one who said he was looking for a sugar mommy, but didn't feel that good manners demanded that I reply to him.
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 2:36 PM |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,509
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It's very rare that I do not send some sort of response to an indication of interest. That being said, I can think of one wink in my mailbox right now that I have never replied to in four months. Then again, there was never an e-mail, either. I'm pretty much in agreement with Max, though. I think of a wink or an e-mail as a compliment, and it's rude not to say "thanks." (Even if to say "No, thanks.") Much of a rube as I feel doing sometimes, I even usually send e-mails to wholly inappropriate contacts that I'm relatively sure are complete scams. "Thanks for the wink, but I have to tell you, I really don't see how I might have much in common with a 27-year-old young lady from Ghana, and I see you want to raise a family. As I said in my profile, I would rather not father any more children." (They're always "ultraconservative," too. How anyone who actually IS "ultraconserative" politically can think we'd get along is beyond me.)
Edited to add: Oh, and the're always 5' 7", unless they're Asian. Then they're always 5' 4".
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 2:46 PM |
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jewelrylady
Posts: 36
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I always reply except to obvious scammers/spammers - those I just delete and report. But I agree with OP - I sometimes send winks and/or notes and never receive a reply. (to me a wink shows interest and I'm looking to see if there is interest from them before going with a note)
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 4:10 PM |
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SallyF
Posts: 341
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Sometimes (not often) I send a wink as kind of a high-five to someone who is holding their own in a discussion in the forums or their blog. I don't want to stick my nose (and opinion) into an already meaty discussion; but do want them to sense some support. I know an email would be as appropriate....but a wink is 'funner' 
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| Jul 1, 2008 @ 5:58 PM |
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waterfire
Posts: 2,946
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Guys are rather strange
ack 
Man you should check out da women, now that is one crazy gender 
(psst i love them even if a bit wacko  )
To OP, keep trying 
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| Jul 2, 2008 @ 2:42 AM |
Question of thought...
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,228
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anybody that doesn't take the time to respond to a wink, note, or any kind of intitial contact, doesn't have any manners. the absence of response says more about their character than any amount of words. or not...
And anyone who makes such blanket judgements is an idiot. The fact that you feel the need to condemn everyone, who is different from you in this area, says much more about your character, than it does about theirs.
Personally, I rarely look at winks. The vast majority of winks that I get are from women in China. If someone takes the time to write me a note, then I typically respond, again unless they are from somewhere on the other side of the planet.
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| Jul 2, 2008 @ 3:41 AM |
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callmemax
Posts: 19
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Really? My profile says pretty clearly that I'm not looking; do I need to say the same thing in an email? And of course we have the spammer/scammer contingent too. I did get a kick out of the one who said he was looking for a sugar mommy, but didn't feel that good manners demanded that I reply to him.
as i read the initial post, i saw someone complementing someone they were interested in, with a wink and a note. that's who i was responding to. i did not say reply to spammers / scammers, or those not looking. your attempt at humor at my expense is "shortsighted," but go for it, if you must.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
And anyone who makes such blanket judgements is an idiot. The fact that you feel the need to condemn everyone, who is different from you in this area, says much more about your character, than it does about theirs.
another person shooting from the hip, without anything to say. if you knew anything about me, you would know that the ending to my statements, "or not..." are my way of indicating it's my opinion. whether you agree with me or not, is irrelevant. calling someone an idiot, might better be directed at the person looking back at you from a mirror.
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| Jul 2, 2008 @ 5:23 PM |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,228
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another person shooting from the hip, without anything to say. if you knew anything about me, you would know that the ending to my statements, "or not..." are my way of indicating it's my opinion. whether you agree with me or not, is irrelevant. calling someone an idiot, might better be directed at the person looking back at you from a mirror.
You missed my point entirely. I made a blanket statement, to show just how absurd statements, such as the one you made
anybody that doesn't take the time to respond to a wink, note, or any kind of intitial contact, doesn't have any manners. the absence of response says more about their character than any amount of words. or not...
typically are. The use of the absurd to illustrate the absurd is fairly common. I use such illustrations myself, as evidenced in my prior post. Of course, if you knew anything about me, you may well have realized just that.
I will admit to missing the implication of the "or not", in your post, but as you have made all of 17 posts thus far in the forums, it's not like there has been a great deal for me, or anyone else to go on in order to draw such a conclusion. In the future, I will try to be a better mind reader, such that I will be able to ascertain the subtle meanings, hidden in your posts....or not.
BTW, as for your assertion that I was "shooting from the hip, without anything to say", you might want to try reading the second paragraph, where I addressed the point raised by the OP.
Personally, I rarely look at winks. The vast majority of winks that I get are from women in China. If someone takes the time to write me a note, then I typically respond, again unless they are from somewhere on the other side of the planet.
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| Jul 4, 2008 @ 2:31 PM |
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travelnfrog
Posts: 572
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If the mail isn't in my filtered, I will get back with at least a generic thank you (and maybe a no thanks for whatever reason). If they are filtered (due to age), I eventually read but most are scammers. I don't bother with them.
That said, some folks are popular enough I guess they can afford to be choosy.
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| Jul 4, 2008 @ 9:29 PM |
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waterfire
Posts: 2,946
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I'm with you Heaven, sometimes I do not know what to say since I have clearly stated in my profile I am not looking 
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| Jul 9, 2008 @ 9:16 PM |
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minky
Posts: 262
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I thought a lack of response implies no thanks
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| Jul 10, 2008 @ 2:54 AM |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,509
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I thought a lack of response implies no thanks It more likely means "Eeewuuwwwww!" But I get the point. Yes, a lack of response means "I'm not interested (for whatever reason)."
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| Jul 10, 2008 @ 9:44 AM |
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happygrlok
Posts: 7,553
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Yes, a lack of response means "I'm not interested (for whatever reason)."
I don't think any of us owe anyone a justification as to why we are not responding to their email....the exception for me, is if it is someone I have been emailing with for a time and something changes. Then yes, it is the up front thing to do. To many people hid behind this screen and do not do what is right.
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| Jul 10, 2008 @ 10:10 PM |
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alivenwell351
Posts: 3,044
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I don't think any of us owe anyone a justification as to why we are not responding to their email.
That's exactly right...
After a few nasty responses from folks you tried to be civil and say "thanks but no thanks" to...after a couple of times someone just won't let up, it starts seeming there's no point in doing something you're really under no obligation to do.
That might sound cold, but maybe more would be polite and say they have no interest if more folks would just let it go at that...
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| Jul 11, 2008 @ 12:46 PM |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,228
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I don't think any of us owe anyone a justification as to why we are not responding to their email.
That's exactly right...
After a few nasty responses from folks you tried to be civil and say "thanks but no thanks" to...after a couple of times someone just won't let up, it starts seeming there's no point in doing something you're really under no obligation to do.
That might sound cold, but maybe more would be polite and say they have no interest if more folks would just let it go at that...
Personally, when I initiate contact with someone, I always close the note by saying, "If I would be of interest to you, please let me know." I don't expect people to write back to say, no thanks. For me, to expect someone to reply, would be quite presumptive and judgemental on my part.
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| Jul 11, 2008 @ 1:48 PM |
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happygrlok
Posts: 7,553
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"If I would be of interest to you, please let me know."
I think that is fine, but for me I am not always looking to strike up something with that person. Some of my emails are in friendship only. Maybe they have a friend that has disappeared or they have said something that caught my interest. I am not looking for a relationship with them at all. I am only trying to make a new friend. I think in this venue it is so easy to misunderstand as you are just reading words.
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| Jul 11, 2008 @ 4:32 PM |
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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If someone doesnt reply to me......it doesnt phase/bother me that much......I view it as their right to do so.......and they are just suiting themselves........like i do on here.......whenever I feel like it. I dont take offence......or dont have any dislike for the person.......or think they should'v replied....or felt out of sorts.....because they havent. I never take offence to it or to them. I try to look at things in the right light.......according to me.
I cant tell you how many messages I have sent to people in the past.......that they never reply to.......and it doesnt bother me in the least. Their choosing not to reply.......is about them.......for whatever reason......not about me.
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