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general question to middle aged people in general.


Feb 25, 2013 @ 6:23 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 22,712
Hey Minky! You have every right to decide for yourself, with no criticism from me, I'm speaking for myself alone - not anyone else! I spent some of the best years of my workaholic life with a man I knew from day one had some major health risks and given the choice again, I'd do the same thing. I'm only saying it was my choice and for me, the right one. I spent my years as a caregiver to my mom, but I was only in my 30's then....your path's a very different one. I hope she does well, and you too!
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Feb 26, 2013 @ 8:12 AM general question to middle aged people in general.    
Gallows_Humor


Posts: 16,779
Thanks for the opinions, but I think I said I would rather be alone, not lonely, than be a caregiver from day one. I still work full time as a nurse, don't care to enter a relationship in that position. What's in it for me? Judge me as selfish if you like, I could work 24-7 if I wanted, I don't need that in a realtionship. I have needs too.

just an observation...

as you are working full time...in a people profession.. your relationship needs are being met except for those that deal with ..only you...to where you can afford to be highly selective... and rule out anyone who is not perfect in your eyes for the times that you want a mate.. time that you have available, when you are not working

and as that works for you...

but you are leaving quite a few good people in your discard bin in the process...

my question is..are you trying to tell other people what they should be doing? or trying to justify your actions to you??

I have baggage.. health issues... and old man itis... but I still feel as though I am worthy of consideration...by women who are in my peer group..:)

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Feb 27, 2013 @ 2:58 AM general question to middle aged people in general.    
minky


Posts: 337
Don't misunderstand, I don't question if anyone is a good person. Just that health issues are important at this time in life. Bottom line our partners did not stick in for the long hall, why would a new romantic interest find serious health problems sexy? Unless they are in the same position. Reality sucks
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Feb 27, 2013 @ 5:05 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
lacyvsq


Posts: 13,390
I massage a 99.9 yr-old man 2-3 times a week. I'd love to find a single version of him! He gives good conversation, (tho our political views do not much align) and his feet and legs are improving in looks with every visit from me, since I decided at the beginning of the year that he cannot go to the undertaker or donate his body to science until we are certain that whoever tags his toes is going to comment on what great-looking feet this man has for someone of 108....

I find encouraging him when he feels down is a boost for my own spirit. I wish I had the freedom to actually do more for him.

Pension and SS benefits for a husband of his calibre would be a good trade-off for caring.... ....but that is just my thoughts... My parents both died well -- no long-term health problems.
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Feb 27, 2013 @ 8:28 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
Tiramisu4u


Posts: 13,168
why would a new romantic interest find serious health problems sexy?

That is why I am not looking...wouldn't be fair to them.


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Feb 27, 2013 @ 8:30 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
olpup


Posts: 156
I look only at her heart. The rest is just a shell that we all have.
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Mar 7, 2013 @ 10:54 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
kakes


Posts: 3
[B]I hope Im not to old to find love.. Im going to continue to try. I would love to find THE one before I die.[/B]
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Mar 8, 2013 @ 11:28 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
signme


Posts: 16,688
If 40-60 is now middle-aged, I just hit old age!
I think at my age, finding someone with no baggage is pretty much impossible.But I agree with those who said it's how you handle your baggage that is important. I have health issues also--some days I do a ton of stuff and some days it's hard to get out of bed. Who would want to be saddled with that? I have found my own contentment with volunteer work, giving when able, doing my pet portraits for a bit of extra $$ now and then and trying to eat and exercise myself into better health. I guess it's all in your perspective!
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May 23, 2013 @ 9:56 AM general question to middle aged people in general.    
SheilaSweet


Posts: 13
Some of us in our mid 50s do not have medical problems, do not have any more baggage than an adult child, who lives independently, and he is not baggage. Everyone has extended family, and as soon as you are an adult you have responsibilities. On the plus side, I am financially stable and independent. So yeah, I would be a great catch if I would not be caught already.
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Jun 7, 2013 @ 6:42 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
BrownBear


Posts: 293
I don't know why people today view 40-60 as 'middle-aged'. The human life-form has a life expectancy of well over 200 years if shielded from toxins and stress (true), so really the age of 100 is middle-aged. But as we create/manifest what we think about and focus on, if we think we will be haggard and weeing in a plastic bag by 80 then so we shall. The mind is a very powerful tool. If just one person made it their life's work to visualize being young and believing it and actually arrested ageing by doing so, the rest of humanity would follow... just like we did in breaking the running of the 4-minute-mile record (deemed impossible) and growing an extra 4+ inches in height in adulthood (via stretching exercises) - again previously deemed impossible.
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Mar 8 @ 5:31 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
sexyeyes755


Posts: 40
Ol Pup you sweetie!
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Mar 8 @ 10:00 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
Tiramisu4u


Posts: 13,168
I have health issues, PLUS am a caregiver to a stroke victim in my house when I get home from work, plus work full time. Who would want to deal with that?

From what I have found...no one. So I don't bother.
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Apr 20 @ 4:21 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
suds59


Posts: 10
does one have a choice about growing up?
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Jul 12 @ 4:07 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
sloriver


Posts: 442
Everyone has baggage. If you seek perfection then you're looking above your own level. Life is never perfect. Why give up a chance for love because someone has health issues or obligations that would be binding to you? The only real question is can you love this person. If the anwer is yes, take on some baggage.
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Jul 23 @ 10:30 AM general question to middle aged people in general.    
lj450


Posts: 8,882
The problem with that approach, is that they show up with just one suitcase, but before its all over, you find out that there are 3 storage buildings full of baggage that they never told you about!!
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Jul 23 @ 6:17 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
Sasha_Frisson


Posts: 8
Some are just looking for a nurse with a purse
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Jul 28 @ 7:41 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
newlife2006


Posts: 2,097
LOL...Look at the bright side. Your potential Mothers-in-Law are either dead or in nursing homes, your potential step-children are grown up and on their own,
your potential partners are over their mid-life crisis and there's no unemployment threat in your happily ever after either , since you both are securely retired.
What's not to like?....
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Jul 29 @ 1:50 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
clickityclack


Posts: 13,257
yeah, all that ^ plus no more need to wearz a condom!
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Jul 29 @ 11:50 PM general question to middle aged people in general.    
ablessedlady


Posts: 126
I am 59, in many ways I still feel i am 32. Fiancee' and I broke up after 11 years just before the wedding. I started dating casually after I was able to put away the feelings for and about my 1st real ove. I took almost a year alone before dating cause I needed my grieving period and wouldn't be fair o the new man when I couldn't really give "us" my all..
Anyway I think that's why as I got older I kept thinking I was 32. At 53 I had full length mirror 1st time in abou 7 years. I happen to have caught a gimpse in that mirror when I was naked . I had to look again, would swear someone had pasted my face on my grandmothers body!! Took me a few weeks to shake the down I felt seeing what went south etc... So I accept my body is older, but my mind and energy and humor and more are he same as when I was younger. Due to a back injury I am not as fast as years back, but still enjoy the same interests and some added on. I have accepted that I am, not a spring chicken, but that's okay. I have much more wisdom than I did at 32. I am a better person and no longer have the temper I once had. I like me better now in general. I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up! I still dress how I want, enjoy interests that many people give a double take, like making snow angels just cause,controlling an RC car, riding a camel at the fair. I am sure that my age shows when I use certain words or phrases, pocketbook aka purse,calling information aka directory assitance,. I have had 20 year old girls and a few younger children ask me what I am talking about when I use some of those phrases.
As for my better 1/2, (if there is 1), There is certain behaviors or situations I would not put myself in. However I feel it is a subjective choice we each must make. for ourselves and I don't judge anyone's choice to be with or to not be with whatever the reason. Doesn't everyone have "skeletons in the closet?' I believe it is how we manage the so called "drama" in our lives. My opinion, to each his/her own
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