| May 7, 2006 @ 12:11 AM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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tbear2have
Posts: 1
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Profiles says we should be perfect match......I write hi, can we chat?? No answer....and it's usually women who's profile builds them up to be so kind, considerate, caring  , drives me nuts...  Is this normal guys?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 1:15 AM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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"hi, can we chat"? That's IT?
No matter what the computer figures out is a "perfect match", I believe most women are interested in being approached on a bit more personal level  (like did you read anything interesting or unique in their profile? ...is there anything interesting or unique in yours that they would be likely to comment on? -- well, except for your wet-from-the-shower pic ~grin~)
And the fact that you're "separated" is often a giant red flag for many -- they run faster than lizards. 
Oh, and if I'd received that email, I'd likely reply "No thanks. I don't do chat...but good luck with your quest and have fun"
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| May 7, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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Sunnie, gotta disagree with you. It doesn't matter if you write alot or little (but showing you read their profile does help). The simple fact is a new female profile gets deluged the first few days, and they get to pick and choose who they answer.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 4:00 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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Well that's definitely true...even changing a picture can be a bit overwhelming, response-wise. That's why if a fella hopes to hear back, he needs to "stand out" one way or another...preferably by initiating a conversation. "Hi, can we chat?" is more like a plain yes or no question...and I believe a lot of women would rather avoid the question rather than responding with "no".
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| May 7, 2006 @ 4:45 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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Peaches888
Posts: 15
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I applaud your honesty for stating "separated" in your profile, but like what SunBabe said, it sends out a BIG red flag. To me this guy hasn't closed out the chapter in his last love Amore... Sometimes I think "no answer" is an answer, and what would you like us women to write, just to be polite?? Hopefully you won't be devastated with my viewpoint, for I BELIEVE feedback is better than none at all.
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| May 9, 2006 @ 4:00 AM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,704
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I applaud your honesty for stating "separated" in your profile, but like what SunBabe said, it sends out a BIG red flag
exactly red flag.. sorry But i wont even date a fella thats Not divorced, widowed or single.. just My opinion and preference.. Sweet N Louisiana
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| May 11, 2006 @ 7:16 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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LibidinistLady
Posts: 814
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1. Write them don't be so brief it isn't worth the effort to read the message.
2. A lot of us don't do 'chat' because quite a few 'chats' are just someone wanting cybersex.
3. 100% match is a computer match not a human match. The day a computer can figure out exactly what I want is the day I'm gonna totally freak out.
4. I'm not cruising the dating sites every day. It might be 1-3 weeks before I'm back checking my messages 'cause I do have a life.
5. Married/Separated major red flag. Not going to happen. I appreciate the fact that some people don't lie and waste my time and their's by telling the truth. But... you have to finish the chapter before you go to the next one.
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| May 11, 2006 @ 8:28 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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Send an email. If they reply they reply. If they don't they don't. No answer is an answer. It says, "Not interested."
Next!!!
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| May 13, 2006 @ 4:22 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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doc65270
Posts: 833
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well the way i see it to just send a message "wanta chat?" it really show a lot of intrest. i would say a woman likes conversation almost more than making love. and if that is all you can say to her no she isn't going to be interested in you not to mention your not going to get many answers either. wonder why? you don't go up to a lady in her fifties looking like >  either. not all the time but some of the times they want to see you well groumed, showered often, shaved or at least trimed. what have you been doing all your life  wake up look alive prepare yourself to meet a lady and maybe someday you will.
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| May 13, 2006 @ 4:23 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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doc65270
Posts: 833
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btw saying want to chat is like making love with out kissing. imagine that. 
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| May 13, 2006 @ 7:33 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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If I get an email from someone who has clearly not read my profile and doesn't have a pic, I don't feel obligated to write back.
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| May 15, 2006 @ 11:07 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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FunPartner
Posts: 33
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I agree- no picture in this day & age, there's got to be a reason. My ad clearly states that I'm not moving and if someone has written to me from thousands of miles away, I don't answer. I tried a long term. Broke my heart.
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| May 16, 2006 @ 11:42 AM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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EnchantedDestiny
Posts: 9
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I write hi, can we chat??
I used to answer anyone that wrote me even if it was a "thanks but we aren't a good fit" however I receive way too many "hi, can we chat" that when I responded they want to have cyber sex....I just quit responding to anyone that didn't write enough for me to know they were really interested in me
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| May 16, 2006 @ 5:43 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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stevie56
Posts: 4
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I got one of these.
Sent a polite reply (as a decent, polite, human does, right?)
Got a picture of the woman mooning me! (NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!!!)
Is that abuse, do you suppose?
Or an invitation to sodomise her?
Time to move on, I suppose….
Stevie.
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| May 16, 2006 @ 5:58 PM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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OMG!!!!! Talk about making an a$$ of yourself!
Yup,...moooooove on
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| May 16, 2006 @ 6:03 PM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Got a picture of the woman mooning me! (NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!!!)
rather cheeky of her to send that, wasn`t it
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| May 17, 2006 @ 1:55 AM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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LadyHaak
Posts: 14
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I got an email from someone and all it said was "hi" so I sent a "hi" back and he wrote back and said..."not very talkative are you?" So I wrote him back a whole page of stuff... whahahahahhaha I think I scared him off...
Yeah too many times "wanna chat" means cyber with me.
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| May 18, 2006 @ 12:18 AM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,704
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LOL tink... that was cute.. i always answer messages.... sweet N Louisiana
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| Jun 19, 2006 @ 12:13 AM |
Why do women not answer messages?
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3BearMom
Posts: 195
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I get a lot of winks -- when I write back to thank them for the wink, they respond, but it is so brief it is almost a non response.
If I wanted to have a one side conversation I could do that with the bears (dogs) and not need to go on line for it.
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 4:37 AM |
Why do women not answer messages? |
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Captpappy
Posts: 28
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Well, I'm new to this sight and mostly I've been "listening" to every one else's opinions ... and observing "The five minute rule: When approaching a group of people engaged in conversation, resist the urge to interject for 5 minutes until you are certain you understand the subject of conversation..."
My five minutes are up and I feel like writing!
OK! Here's the scenario:
A LOT of us are here (and other sights) in the hope that we MAY find a special person; that "perfect" relationship that will last for the rest of forever. (It wasn't in our back yard so lets look in the next three states!)
We browse picture after picture, profile after profile and !BINGO! an image of an ANGEL  that lives 100 miles away in some tiny town with absolutly NO chance of EVER bumping into this person face to face, that makes your heart pound and a profile that matches EXACTLY what you seek, and as luck would have it, you seem to be everything THEY seek!!!! You immediately begin a prolonged fantasy about gazing into their eyes over dinner, and after much daydreaming realize that you have NO CHOICE but to contact them. (OH NOOOO!)
What do you do? Play it cool and nonchalantly say "hi" like you couldn't care less if they respond or not? Give your life's history? Write sloppy poetry? (been there; done that; bought the T shirt)
Regardless of what a lot of us say i.e. "...not a game player", this dating stuff, whether in person or behind the security of the computer keyboard, no matter if you're 25 or 52, IS A GAME with a complete set of rules that no one has ever bothered to fully explain to any of us!!! (or explain WHO wrote the rules to begin with?????)
Well, Here's some of the ones I know about....I'm pretty sure.......at least I think so.....well anyway......
Rule 1. WINKS
SENDER THOUGHTS (usually male): "Well I don't really know how to tell this person that I'm head over heels for their profile without scaring them off so I'll "WINK" at them to show my interest and hope they write back with a little encouragement!
RECEIVER'S THOUGHTS (usually female): This person is "shot gunning" winks to every one on the sight, most likely didn't even READ my profile and is only responding to my photo that shows my cleavage (why did I include THAT photo anyway?), and can't even take the time to write something (ANYTHING) personal about themselves. DELETE
CONCLUSION: Winks (sent by guys) are only good if immediately followed up by a letter of some sort, so you might as well write a letter to start!
Winks sent by ladies actually works by showing a guy her interest, but that maybe she's a little shy or a little old fashioned to open the conversation. (that's cute!)
Rule 2: INITIAL LETTERS
READ THE PERSON'S PROFILE!!!!!!! Guys, contacting a woman based on physiological reactions to a grainy photo of her chest, JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! (use your OTHER brain!) If you had read her profile you might have known she was a satanic cult worshiper that bites the heads off tree frogs and expects you to have similar interests! ....besides reading her profile MIGHT give you something to ask her or talk about rather than "Hi, wanna chat?"
Rule 3 FOLLOW UP LETTERS
I don't know the actual rule on this! After the initial "hi" and "You're cute" and "interesting job" comments that indicate a ?casual? Interest, the variables become so complex that the published version of "THE RULES" would only fit in the Library of Congress and would take a DR of Psychiatry and several life times to read and understand. (so I don't think they've been written yet!) The ONLY thing I AM sure of is; at the end of the follow up letter indicate your desire to hear from that person AGAIN!!!!!!!
.....like "hope to hear from you soon" or "write to me again". Ask a real question that shows you WANT to hear from that person again.
Rule 4 SILENCE IS BLISS
Lets face it; as in real life, an attraction can be totally one sided. You may be heart throbbingly, weak kneed, head over heals for someone while the other person ... is ... well ... IS NOT! There will always be those kind hearted individuals that will respond to your heart felt ramblings, but with a definite atmosphere of general disinterest in their response. At least they acknowledge your efforts and recognize that you have feelings, too. However, total silence is a similar response; not wanting to lead you on, "waste your time" on something that is doomed from the start, they choose the silent method to indicate their interest (or the LACK of).
Well anyway, don't read all this as learned or experienced advice. If I knew what I was doing I probably wouldn't be here on a dating web site!
Thank goodness for the anonymity of the computer keyboard! 
[Edited on 7
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