| Jun 3, 2006 @ 7:51 PM |
Friends setting you up...
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observed50
Posts: 407
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In classes I use to teach on Sociology of Interpersonal Relationships, one of the things I use to teach about was how good friends are in 'setting you up' for a date with someone for a date that is a fairly good match. They are far better than matchmakers or dating web sites, according to the research.
Regardless, we probably have all had fiascos in friends 'setting us up.' Care to share?
Once, a good friend of mine wanted me so badly to have a female partner in my life, and she told me she thought she had the perfect woman for me (ever hear that line..."I know someone who would be perfect for you!"). She was also a teacher (albeit high school instead of college), she was politically active and astute, and she loved adventure. I had learned a long time before that the likelihood of friends having a clue as to what or who would be perfect for me was very very very small. But I loved her for thinking of me, and wanting to be helpful, so I agreed to the meeting.
My friend arranged a progressive dinner, one of those where you move from house to house to house for each succeeding course of the meal. Now its important to point out here, that I don't drink alcohol, and never have. Just a path I chose from living along a state line with different drinking ages on the two sides, and I was on the side with kids getting killed, regularly. So anyways, I don't drink.
Meanwhile, the woman who my friend wanted me to meet, did drink...quite...a lot. With each course, she downed glass after glass of wine, such that by course three, she was drunk. By course four, she was roaring drunk, and when we walked to the fifth house for desert, she walked/stumbled home instead, too sick and quesy to continue the evening. I, as a gentlemen, let her walk home in her drunken reverie. My friend called her to insure she got home okay.
My friend was hugely embarssed (as was this woman the next time we ran into each other) as my friend had totally forgotten I don't imbibe.
But completely NOT the perfect woman for me!
Anyone else got similar mess-ups?
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| Jun 4, 2006 @ 9:14 PM |
Friends setting you up... |
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lacyvsq
Posts: 6,173
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I heard about a friend of a friend who was a very good cook. Friends always fixed him up and expected him to cook dinner for the lady guest. He got tired of it, so one evening after serving his date a lovely dinner, he placed the plates on the floor, called his dog over and let the dog lick the plates clean. Then he put them away into the cabinet...
...I never got to be a dinner guest at his place...
All my friends have fixed me up with just purrrrfect dates.  That's why I am on this site.
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| Jun 4, 2006 @ 9:29 PM |
Friends setting you up...
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observed50
Posts: 407
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They fixed ya up with....tom cats?
I so love how people are so open on this site about their proclivity for anything that hits the right spot...
I guess there might be a sample bias here, then...is that what you're suggesting Lacy? 
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| Jun 4, 2006 @ 9:50 PM |
Friends setting you up... |
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keeno
Posts: 2,363
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my daughter, who is a well meaning, senistive, young woman, fixed me up with a lady she met at her "mother-in-laws" thurdays night women's potluck. they have been doing this for years and have accepted leah as one of the group of about 25 women. she told me she had met a woman that i might like. i agreed to meet her, well, after a couple of months of coaxing by my daughter.
we talked on the phone and she sounded strangely familar we agreed to meet for dinner at a local restaurant. well, she turned out to be a woman i had talked to on one of the dating sites, i had even talked to her on the phone, and we had made arrangements for a date then, and she stood me up... a no show.. no call. her excuse ....her ex called and asked her out and she was to embarrassed to tell me. needless to say it was less than a perfect evening.
my daughter was more upset than i was but she hasn't tried to "fix me up" again.
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| Jun 19, 2006 @ 1:53 PM |
Friends setting you up...
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Halfevl333
Posts: 187
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Back years ago, a couple of female friends set me up with a woman they knew. I tend to be every females friend or guy buddy and was complaining that I wanted an actual relationship instead of just a friendship. So they set me up with someone they knew. I picked her up and she hated the music I was playing... A goth band.... I took her to a movie and she hated it... It was not a nice nite...
One of the reasons I refused to date anyone my own age for quite a while... Women my age do NOT seem to like the things I do. Women 20+ younger do. So, not much choice there...
well now I have decieded to go with older women again but again not finding any that even remotely want to try new things... Ah the joys of dating...
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| Jun 19, 2006 @ 2:03 PM |
Friends setting you up... |
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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before i would let a friend try to set me up i would have to make sure i haven't made him mad.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 5:36 PM |
Friends setting you up...
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observed50
Posts: 407
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Night - 
I can think of only one other time in my life when someone tried to set me up. I was in seminary and a friend of mine in school with me was looking at his wife leaving as she came face to face with being a pastor's wife. She wanted to go out on the town (Denver) and go for dinner, dancing, and then who knew. She set me up with one of her nursing friends.
I am rather outgoing (no...really!  ) and my friend's wife set me up with a mouse...okay...a woman quiet as a mouse. We're at dinner...she didn't talk. We got dancing...find out she doesn't like to dance. So I dance with the wife because my friend doesn't like to dance either! Then the wife of my fellow seminarian decides she wants to go to a strip club! Two progressive males, and the one's wife wants to go to a strip club. Nothing like it in the realm of blind dates!
We went. It went worst than the rest of the evening. Gack!!!
My friend did get divorced, his wife did go nuts, I never heard from the nurse again nor did I try and contact her, and I never tried to get in a disco again with hair down the middle of my back.
But that strip joint...only one I ever went to...Nathans, Broadway in Denver, biker bar. Nothing like a hippy in them days with bikers... 
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
Friends setting you up... |
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guiltless
Posts: 57
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Worse date of my life was set up by a friend.
Oh she sounded great on the phone. She sent pics. Looked good too. sounded like a nice evening. Planned it for a week.
Found her house, showed up with a great night planned ou for us. She comes to the door as if she's going to the Flea market. No babysitter, so she want to bring the kids along.
Kids in the back, She in the front the rsturaunt was a complete disaster. tried to salvage the evening, but she was completely wasted and tired.
That was the last I heard of her.
Told our mutual friend about the date, He laughed his butt off. appearntly this has happened before.
It was a good gag. I still owe the bastard for that one.
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| Jul 27, 2006 @ 7:46 PM |
Friends setting you up...
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Kwitjirbitjin
Posts: 532
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A friend set me up with a co-worker of hers. "He's such a nice guy! He has a great personality!" This was 25 years ago, back in the days when looks mattered more to me than they do now. He looked like a cross between a turtle and an ostrich, younger than I was (hey, that mattered when I was in my 20's), and already balding (this also is different now). We went out for pizza, where he regaled me with tales of how he liked to hang his little brother in the closet by his shirt collar. Afterwards, my friend mentioned that the folks at work would make fun of this guy for always walking around picking his butt.
I didn't have very good friends.
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| Aug 3, 2006 @ 12:35 AM |
Friends setting you up... |
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LatinButterfly
Posts: 687
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I can't remember ever being set up by anyone but when I set my best friend up with someone 15 years ago it resulted in MARRIAGE! I suppose it worked because I knew the guy well enough and my friend like a sister (had known each other nearly 25 years at that point). I met him actually through the "personals" so initially he was interested in me but I knew we were not a good match and we remained friends.
The more I knew him the more I felt my friend would be the right one for him, he resisted the "introduction" because she lived in another country but when he finally saw her picture (MEN and their visual inclinations, lol!) he stole it and then gave her a call (I'd already given him the number). She didn't know what he looked like but she trusted my description of him, then I took some polaroids of him and he mailed them (she was NOT disappointed).
They "fell in love" by phone and letters and when her vacation came up she planned a trip to meet him. By then he'd even rented an apartment because he "knew" she was "the one" - I was the one who began to panic then because I thought they had moved too fast!
Well, in 5 days they were married. I'd lie if I said they instantly "rode off happily into the sunset"; she had 2 daughters from her previous marriage and the oldest one was a precocious 14 who brought some challenges to their new life. Maybe the fact that she got pregnant the next year sort of put the attention elsewhere.
He had started a business and she helped him a lot with it, they bought a nice house and when the daughters got married sold it and bought a smaller one but they own rental property besides the original business. They're making plans for their retirement when the now 13yo son graduates from H.S., so, not too shabby I think!
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