| Aug 16, 2006 @ 10:48 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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sofakinghornknee
Posts: 1
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Here are a couple ways you know you live in Arizona, if you want to add to this or if a forgot a couple then feel free, I'd love to see some other ones!
-that term "so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk" is absolutely true!
-you have to drive with oven mitts on.
-you pay rent for the apartment, but you have to live in the pool.
-you don't ever use a blowdryer, open window on the freeway is just as good.
-you can wear those silly golfing clothes and if anyone actually does ask you about it you can tell them "I'm on my way to the golf course down the street" and whether you know it or not, chances are there is one right down the street.
-you can say things that are completely ridiculous like "I wish all those snowbirds would just get out of the desert" or "I hope the Suns beat the Heat." and everyone knows what you're talking about.
-you can stay home and watch 350 channels of cable with nothing good on OR you can go to the movie theater with 35 screens of nothing good on.
-you can sweat like a marathon runner just to go check your mail.
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| Aug 18, 2006 @ 3:11 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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Chevy1
Posts: 63
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-You've been to the emergency room for third degree burns from putting your seatbelt on and grabbing hold of the steering wheel.
-The town you live in shuts the roads down when it rains.
-You wake up with a 6" Tarantula, several lizards and a horned toad in your house during 'Monsoon Season' and think nothing of it.
-You expect that nearly everything you touch outdoors will either prick, poison, bite, sting, kill you or give you a rash.
-When after the 'Monsoons' the traffic along all the washes is worse than at a major sporting event.
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| Aug 21, 2006 @ 11:35 AM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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LondonCowboy
Posts: 5
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You know you're from Arizona when...
You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember
the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over
100 degrees.
You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car,
because your steering wheel is so hot.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets
are totally empty of both cars and people.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools
will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.
You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is
hotter than the air inside the balloon.
No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.
You see two trees fighting over a dog.
You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves
You can pronounce"Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly",
"Mogollon Rim", and "Cholla"
You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"
You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!
You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!"
You buy salsa by the gallon.
Your Christmas decorations include sand and paper bags.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but
clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
Most homes have more firearms than people.
Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are
automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're
wearing shorts.
If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona.
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| Aug 21, 2006 @ 4:53 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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lloudogg
Posts: 23
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I only have one!...."WHEN YOU CAN LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN AND WONDER WHERE THE "OVERCAST" CAME FROM!
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 9:05 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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XWallStreeter
Posts: 1
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The women are able to have an orgasm only while riding a Harley.
Your bartender at Ernie's Inn of Scottsdale physically assaults you while you complain to the other bartender that he stole your money at the bar while he was watching you sing a song on stage during Karaoke night. What does "bada bing, bada boom" mean?
90% of the women wear flip flops to please the foot fetishists.
You can't decide whether local rednecks, wild snowbirds or illegal aliens are the worst drivers.
The campgrounds are full of litter from illegal aliens escorted by coyotes.
The Mayor of the third-largest city in the State has an MBA, owns a trucking business, rides a Harley and loves cops who take bribes from businesses.
A conversation with a Caliphony expat is a temporary relief from right-wing, greedy, self-centered religious zealots.
You get an argument from major chains, e.g., Safeway and Frye's, when you return bad food. Your opponent is either an Italian or a redneck.
When you forget to put some of the items you paid for into your shopping cart, the redneck who served you fails to tell you about it, and hopes you don't find out about it. When you return to the store and talk about it with her and her manager, she starts yelling at you about what a jerk you are.
It's illegal for a store to accept the bad booze you bought from them. State Law says you must return it to the distributor. Where the hell is the distributor?
If you're a tourist caught in a flash flood, State Law deems you "a stupid motorist" per "The Stupid Motorist Law." Consequently, you must pay the cost for rescue up to $2,000. Strange contradiction with the biblical phrase "judge ye not, lest..." Typical religious hypocrisy. Welcome to the Grand Canyon State! How grand! Oh, two grand.
The DUI blood alcohol limit in AZ is really 0.05%. If you score between 0.05% and 0.08%, you must go to court and prove that you are not guilty! Thank you, all you religious morons! And thanks to the U.S. DOT and insurance companies, which bribe States to fabricate DUI cases. And thanks to MADD! And John Gotti, Jr. thanks you because Prohibition put his ancestors in business, which is rulers of America.
Most of the beer you buy during the six hot months is stale, apparently because it has been stored at room temp. too long. Apparently, rednecks can't tell the difference, and, after all, we saved energy!
Mayor Mary Manross (apparently anglicized from Manrossi) of Scottsdale is more concerned about what the owner of the Pink Taco restaurant should name his business than she is about the bribes the SPD takes from businesses.
About 25% of the personals ads have "Christian" or "God" in the title or the intro.
About 33% of the women are tatooed.
About 25% of the women indicate a preference for a "cowboy" or a biker.
The Phoenix newsmedia are stangely silent about reports of Police misconduct or corruption. I guess they all drink.
The cops harass you when you complain about a crooked business. It seems some of the cops have been fired from New Jersey police departments.
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| Aug 29, 2006 @ 12:01 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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l0c0m0t10n
Posts: 1
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^That'll get him dates for sure! :D
anyway...
You have driven a car higher in the air than the tallest building in the state (I-10E to 101N).
You not only miss Eggnog during the summer, but also chocolate and icecream.
You watch COPS to see if they are in your neighborhood
You have a pool and dream of someday owning a basement.
You have driven 45 mph down 7th, with only 3 inches of gap between your mirror, and oncoming traffic.
Every year you dress up in medieval garb and parade around in a drunken stupor for a week at Estrella War.
Your washer won't start because it has a temperature range for cold water.
You can drive the 60 from one end of Phoenix to the other without getting lost.
You hear the lyric "the 51 is backed up to Fresno" and chuckle.
You have stood on asphalt and melted your shoes.
You have broken a car window being a good samaritan.
You know a dead biker
You laugh at stuck hikers
You have ordered jalapenos at Long John Silver
When you hear about a coyote giving rides to aliens, you understand.
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| Aug 30, 2006 @ 5:55 AM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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That'll get him dates for sure! :D
 
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| Aug 31, 2006 @ 11:16 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,359
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LondonCowboy said:
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
...but it sure sounds like it should be. Hmmm...wonder what should be in it? Well, since this is an Arizona thread, I guess you should start with tequila of some sort. I'd shy away from Pedron, simply because anything with "swamp" in the title, shouldn't waste Pedron. Then again, if it's to cool you down, maybe it should have a gin base, with fresh lime muddled in it somewhere....
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| Apr 12, 2007 @ 11:56 AM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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juzhey
Posts: 565
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Ok, after reading through this, why do you people stay? And if you left, where would you like to go?
And no, I don't care what anyone says, I would never give up my chocolate at any time of year, just keep it in the freezer like I did in the tropics LOL
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| Apr 17, 2007 @ 7:29 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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school2
Posts: 77
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You know you are in Arizona when the smog stop at the mountains divididing az/ from Ca.
You have been here too long in a small town when the manquins in the Pennys window start looking good
Silly me, thinking my garbage can could last more than a year, it plastic
It's hot, when as a child ,I would park my bike in my drive way and the kick stand would melt into the tar.
How hot is it. I have seen enough windows, in cars blown out from the heat.Its not a pretty sight.
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| Apr 18, 2007 @ 12:56 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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juzhey
Posts: 565
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You know you are in Arizona when the smog stop at the mountains divididing az/ from Ca.
ewww! Reminds me of another reason I have no interest in going back to CA. When I went down there, and got a ways from the city, you COULD see this nasty brown layer in the sky that covered the whole place. Had to take three showers a day (each time the wash cloth would turn brown just from wiping down an arm!!!) just to get the pollution from the air off you. Have never seen anything like that anywhere else.
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| Apr 25, 2007 @ 7:22 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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school2
Posts: 77
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You know you are in Arizona when they alow cars with one headlight out and they think it is no big problem. In New Mexico, They added a turn lane in the small town I lived in and all the low riders and others though it was a passing lane . I almost got hit when I stupidly, blinked to go in that lane and someone passed me on the left from that lane.How about that speed radar that everyone is complaining about. Paradise Valley has had it for more than ten years, but they hide the camera in foliage and on fake light poles and on electrical power lines.
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| Sep 26, 2007 @ 5:39 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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CammyB
Posts: 1
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Wow, I haven't been to Arizona but Xwallstreeter paints a " beautiful" picture......
I believe that the state is run by crazy, drunken, corrupt politicians with diluted religous morals and is infested with illegals and trash ????????
America the beautiful, huh. Try Massachusetts.....
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| Nov 9, 2007 @ 7:20 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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school2
Posts: 77
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How about the time I set up my new apartment with gas and electric. I did it on line at my friends house to aleviate me from having to go into the office during work hours. I get off to late to make it. The problem started when the city thought I wanted all my bills on line . I didn't know that, so they never sent me a paper bill. I get my water turned off and no showers until it gets turned on again. I get off early from work and the twenty something in the office is not in the mood to discuss things. I told her I had not set it up on line but no that is not ou responsiblity to check on. I told her I deserve the deposit back and she said no. I complained and she checked the mailing address it was half wrong they had, so they were caught, they gave back half. the lady nextto me over heard the conversation and I said When your twenty you remember all these details and deadline when your 40 sometime you forget and she said ain't that the truth! I rest my case!
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| Nov 30, 2007 @ 11:46 AM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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318meridian
Posts: 11
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Try Mass.?[;no too LIBERAL].....Try Florida?...[Too many rednecks.]...Try Mich.?..[no jobs and too much snow.].....Try NYC?....[Too many Chinese,and too crowded.].....Try Southern LA?....[Too many Mexicans.].....Try Jersey?....[Too dirty}.......Try OHIO?...[Ohio sucks period}.....Try TEXAS?...{A state to avoid at all costs for every reason}....Try ALABAMA?.....{I just found out it was a STATE,should that be legal?}........TRY MISSISSIPPI?.......{You don't need to go there ever}.........Wellllllll where then.......?......YOU TELL ME 
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| Feb 1, 2008 @ 11:32 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona..... |
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uwishtoo
Posts: 33
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you get flipped off by other drivers because you dare to actually be going the speed limit and not 20 miles over like they want you to. lol But I LOVE AZ - lived in Illinois for 49 years and now been here for almost a year and jsut bought a house so I am here to stay
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| Feb 29, 2008 @ 8:06 PM |
Top ways you know you live in Arizona.....
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KlassyKasmirLady
Posts: 9
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The Sun Shines over/around 300 days a Year~! LOVE SUNSHINE. I LOVE
Dry Heat anyday rather then having 99% Humidity along with 99 degrees.
YOU can Drive for a few hours to Snow Ski (at least this year) then
come back to the Valley of the Sun to THAW OUT.
While the Rest of the US People except those in the Valley of the
Sun, San Diego Ca, or Hawaii, Spend extra hours to Get Stuck on The Freeways. Better Yet, if sleet fell at my parents home on the Bluffs, you were not
going anywhere.
Then if you think it is cold out here, think about the People Back East. I can remember more then ONE TIME having to get help in finding my Car, and then Dig it Out so, I could get stuck again.LOLOLOL. We can watch all their dilemma's
while in our POOL or HOT TUB.
I relocated here 15+ Years Ago. I chose to Stay Here.
Dry Heat is the Best over Humidity at 99% because you can walk
out your door in High Humidity, and you feel like you just took another
shower.
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