| Mar 17, 2008 @ 11:06 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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SassynClassy
Posts: 8
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Hi Everyone..
I have recently being dealing with this question.. and would like to know everyones' opinion. How much of an age difference is too much? Does it matter in the real world if the man or the woman is older? what do you think?
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| Mar 18, 2008 @ 11:03 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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DancingFool382
Posts: 1
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My parents have 13 years between them. My mom being the older of the two. It's my mom's second marriage though which means my "dad" is only 10 years older than me. They have been happily married now for over 30 years. I think it matters most on what level of maturity the two people have, having interests in common and most of all love. It's worked for my parents!
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| Mar 20, 2008 @ 1:57 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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Aktor1
Posts: 22
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Well it doesn't bother me but it does a lot of people. Of course I am concerned when an extremely beautiful woman from a foreign country 20 years my junior expresses interest in me. I automatically think "GREEN CARD".
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| Mar 21, 2008 @ 12:24 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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WouldntItBeGr8To
Posts: 961
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I think that so long as you can communicate, relate and your life experiences are on the same plane it will work.
I am in my early 50s and would say women in their 30s just seem so young. Women in their 40s and 50s I would say I can relate to. There is just something missing in women under 40. We haven't dealt with the same life experiences.
Now if I were 80 I don't think a woman in her 60s wouldn't be out of the question, a hot young babe  What's 20 years when your approaching 100 
But to be 40 and be with a 20 yr. old, I don't think that would last. 50 and a 30yr old? Seems to me those 20 years of life one has lived and the other hasn't would make for a relationship where you don't have much in common. Yes, the older partner was that age once, but it was so long ago.
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| Mar 26, 2008 @ 12:56 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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Hansumm
Posts: 47
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I rarely enter the forums as heard it gets a bit primal ..but here is a venture to try and give my experience. My ex wife of a very short time was born here, but lived in Venezuela and she representated that country as Miss Venezuela...she was stunning indeed, and was 22 yrs younger than me, I never sought her out, but met her through a function through my work. In fact, she asked me out and proposed. I never sense a diference in our ages, when we spent time together going out, but the only area this difference would come out, was that she was very jealous, and at first I thought it was just her way, but later I realized, it probably was a result of her age. The jealous got so bad, that I had to call it quits. It totally made what could be a great relationship into a nightmare. I would be reluctant to go that way again....So maybe imaturity might be the biggest barrier, and that might be the issue related to age. hope that helps.
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| Mar 26, 2008 @ 10:10 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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teddybearagain
Posts: 808
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IMO, and for me, .. I tend to be more attracted to men my age or older.
Although it's flattering when a younger man may approach me, being the
age I'm at I think a man who "finally gets it" and has his own side of the
yard in order is someone I'm more attracted to.
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| Mar 26, 2008 @ 10:19 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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LaurieLMS
Posts: 1
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Age is just a physical number, its the mental age that matters. Someone who is 28 might have live a life people at the age of 50 haven't even thought of and therefor they can relate better to people older than them, than they can peers their own age. Just because you are a certain age physically doesn't mean your soul and mind are the same age. I know a few people in their mid-twenties that have done more and seen more than I have. I know a few people in their 50's that act like they are 21. Its all a mental thing.
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| Mar 27, 2008 @ 1:18 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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SassynClassy
Posts: 8
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Thank you for the great answers, in truth. I have struggled with this and I'll share why.
When I'm approached by someone in their 20's, or out with someone of that age group, while we seem to get long fabulously.. I cannot get past the fact that I have son-in-laws the same age ans these men... or in one instance .. a daughter the same age. No matter how great a time or how great the flow was between us... it was there. 
I was recently told I was being "old fashioned" (and who wants that!) and so I thought as opinonated as my fellow MD-ers are.. someone would give me a clue as to if I was being unreasonable or had a weird hang up.
So what is too much of a difference? 
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| Mar 27, 2008 @ 7:08 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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Artemis
Posts: 1
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Sassy... its all individual. I was involved with a Brit 9.5 years my junior.. we got on... but when it came down to real life.. he found a younger mate and I re connected with my Male housemate. ( 6 yrs my senior). I am a very international person, but realise, for me to move to a new country would be too hard in my profession... Nursing... and he woudnt have a chance at a job here.. food factory work. so we were sc***ed. Life is better now. Now for new love....but im not panting.
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| Mar 27, 2008 @ 11:03 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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Onedringwhereur
Posts: 1
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It is to a womans advantage that a man is older, more experienced, financially secure and settled.
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| Mar 28, 2008 @ 8:37 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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SassynClassy
Posts: 8
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It is to a womans advantage that a man is older, more experienced, financially secure and settled.
WHAT?? What women want is to be independently secure...experience, in any sense of the word, is not age based... and find some one FUN.. not "settled".
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 6:17 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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Dean735
Posts: 1
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Posts: 7 It is to a womans advantage that a man is older, more experienced, financially secure and settled
WHAT?? What women want is to be independently secure...experience, in any sense of the word, is not age based... and find some one FUN.. not "settled".
Are you saying security provided by the mate (in this case, husband, according to examples above), etc is a disadvantage?
And how does the desire to be independent contribute to the marriage/relationship? Isn't that desire anti-relationship and really a fear of commitment masquerading as self-esteem?
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| Mar 30, 2008 @ 5:48 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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shycindy41aty
Posts: 2
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i think age is just a number
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| Mar 31, 2008 @ 12:59 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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SassynClassy
Posts: 8
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Are you saying security provided by the mate (in this case, husband, according to examples above), etc is a disadvantage?
And how does the desire to be independent contribute to the marriage/relationship? Isn't that desire anti-relationship and really a fear of commitment masquerading as self-esteem?
Dean- how do you define security? Old fashioned security where one mate is responsible for making the money and the other is responsible for the "home" (or at any rate, not being financially independant) leaves the non-bread winner incredibly vulnerable- to my way of thinking, it is the opposite of secure. Through divorce, death, or the bread-winner's potential diaster such as unemployment, or injury, the relationship is never secure for the person who is not financially contributing.. and causes mental stress and is a strain on the relationship.
Any relationship, where both partners are equally contributing- financially, emotionally and physically...that would allow both to grow together and as individuals with healthy self-esteem, would be an excellent functioning relationship. Does that mean that one might make more than the other? Sure. It also means that together they would have to define how to spend, save and be in the relationship.. as partners- which is where REAL security lies.
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| Apr 1, 2008 @ 2:11 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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rcajun91405
Posts: 12
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I am with you on that one Sassy. If both parties are contributing equally, then there is security cause that means one is not dependent on the other (financially, emotionally, etc.). Both parties should share and be rewarded equally and equal responsible.
have not heard from you in awhile. email me and let me know what is up.
Still very interested but waiting on you for now due to what you told me regarding your situation.
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| Apr 3, 2008 @ 2:57 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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RUInterested
Posts: 1
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My husband was 25 years older although no one ever guessed do to his youthful appearance...We were married 11 years but he died when our daughter was only 5 and we never thought of that, although you can die at any age it is a factor.
I truely believe a woman shouldn't marry until at least 25 and men should be over 30 because by then they know what forever means.
Most women mature sooner and seek an older mate that apreicates them who is able to give the attention they require and that younger men do not normally understand plus we have been taught older is better. I believe young men are attracted to mature woman for that same reason but like women have been taught when you settle down it must be with a younger spouse to breed (grin) and show off to the guys.
I haven't really done alot of dating over the last 12 years but I fine I like men 10 years or less younger than myself who already have had children, I have found men my age older and not able to just let loose and be. Plus sexually even good looking they just tire to easy and get grumpy! LOL
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| Apr 6, 2008 @ 11:38 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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Godless
Posts: 652
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Maybe it's just been my experience, but I've been with younger men and they seem a bit clingy and immature. But hey... I was going out with them for the same reason older men usually go after younger women... sex isn't everything, so I learned.
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| Apr 8, 2008 @ 12:30 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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grayson_calif
Posts: 46
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Sassy,
I know a couple at church who are at least 15 years apart and they have a great marriage. For them, what mattered was having the same interests and love for each other.
And as long as they communicate and get along with each other - all of that is important!
G
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| Apr 8, 2008 @ 12:38 PM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference?
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MoBettaRetta
Posts: 19
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When I was younger, I preferred older men. After dealing with a few of them, I got tired of hearing the "I'm older and wiser than you" attitude. Now that I'm a bit older (31), I prefer someone closer to my age group (28-39) because I prefer to grow old with that person and not have that person out-grow me. To each, his own. Everyone has their preferences and tastes.
So, the answer is YES. Age does matter.
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| Apr 15, 2008 @ 1:48 AM |
I'm curious.. how important is age difference? |
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marc71
Posts: 6
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I think it depends on the person. I've been with younger women who were mature and older women who acted like 15 year old girls. I think it depends on them but also on your own tolerance. I like someone who is mature but doesn't take everything too seriously either.
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