| Aug 23, 2006 @ 7:19 PM |
How do you feel about...
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AllShadesOfBlue
Posts: 3
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First of all, hello from Deerfield Beach. Hi! My question is: do you feel it's rude if you have your IM turned on and someone just pops up 'uninvited' so-to-speak? Would it be more appropriate to send a mail first asking the person if he/she wishes to chat with you? It would give you time to check out that person's profile and see if you have some things in common or, short of that, find things to talk about. What do you guys think?
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| Aug 23, 2006 @ 7:58 PM |
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jfreak68
Posts: 1,185
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Yes I think you should send a message first...
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| Aug 23, 2006 @ 10:13 PM |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,629
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I agree sending a message first would be the right thing to do, but I have come to learn on this and other sites that is not the norm. It seems to most of the men I have talked to in the past feel, sending an IM is no different then walking up to a women in a bar and talking to her. If you were to meet a man say in a store or diner you wouldn't know anything about them, but wouldn't think it was rude of them to try and talk to you. So, in a way I can see their point, but that doesn't mean I agree with it...lol
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| Aug 23, 2006 @ 10:29 PM |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,388
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It would be nice to have a proper introduction first by sending a message , but I have met some really nice men who just instant messaged first and we got to know each other that way. Some chats when they were going well lasted for hours on our first chat.
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| Aug 24, 2006 @ 2:35 AM |
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FloridaPhoenix
Posts: 11
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I really dont have a problem with peopole just IMing me...as long as they dont say "got a pic?" or "asl" before proper introductions. What..im sitting here doing my thing...now i gotta take a flippin survey?? At least be polite and intorduce yourself...but most arent interested in names anyway, if you get my drift. Heck most dont even care if you have a name, as long as you can sexy type. Sorry guys...Im a cyber nookie rookie and homey dont play that! lol 
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| Aug 24, 2006 @ 2:56 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Most I-M messages I have gotten on other dating sites normally show the person's pic (if applicable) and their screen name with the question "This person would like to I-M you. Do you accept?" with 2 buttons underneath saying yes or no. Since I never gotten a I-M here I cant speak for how it works here, but IF it works on the same principle as on other sites then I wouldnt consider it rude All Shades, since you should have time to click on the person's screen name to check out the profile and decide IF you want to talk to that person or not. before the IM message gets deverted to you in box after aprox 3~5 minutes
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| Aug 24, 2006 @ 8:40 PM |
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jfreak68
Posts: 1,185
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Well outlaw that isn't how it works here, the screen just pops up with the message the person sends you, what really sucks is if you are surfing between sites and one pops up, a lot of these sites use the same im so can be difficult knowing what site they are on....
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| Aug 25, 2006 @ 4:56 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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sorry to hear the Jfreak, most of the dating sites I visit and get a I-M request from normally shows up on their site with the color of the site's border around the mini window (think half the size of the window when you look at your favorites or friends list here) and normally cuts across the screen from the left and leaves the same way as well. As for the message 'popping' up, that only happens if you click on the 'yes' button from the person sending the I-M to you. And I agree with you about the I-M request mini screen popping up when I am 'bouncing' between multiple windows too, but they normally stay in the site that is generating the I-M request. Thou I cant speak about MSN or Yahoo's way of sending I-Ms since I never use them.
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 10:34 AM |
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AllShadesOfBlue
Posts: 3
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Thanks for all the replies. I understand their point, too, witchieone, but I don't agree either lol
Now, what about those who send you winks and haven't even looked at your profile?! What's up with THAT? When I look at their profile, I'm not even a blip on their radar for what they're looking for 
I have to laugh 
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 12:07 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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All Shades of Blue
Most guys and gals but (mostly guys) who send winks are probably trying to set a record in their profiles for winks sent. That also applies to the friends request sent as well. I think these guys are just trying to collect and/or set a record for most friends requested and/or winks sent, so when someone checks out their profile they are 'impressed' with the amount of 'friends' this person has and/or the number of winks sent out. Funny thing is IF you do a search on someone's friends list, almost two thirds to half of them have either cancelled their account or hasnt been on the site in over 3 or more months!
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 2:14 PM |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,629
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On this site you can change your settings so another person won't know you looked at their profile. The downfall with that is you can't see who you viewed either. So, they could have looked at your profile, it just doesn't show.
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 2:22 PM |
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AllShadesOfBlue
Posts: 3
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I don't mind if they know I've seen their profile. At least I took the time to do so, you know what I mean? 
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 2:53 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Witchie, I changed my settings so no one knows IF I clicked on their profile or not, as for people clicking on my profile, I thought that was only a option if you decided to update your membership from free to Gold status here to see who clicked on your profile (or are a member of adultmatchdoctor where that function is free for all   )
Plus I love how the numbers on 'who viewed me' go up everytime I post something in the forum section too! 
[Edited on 8/26/2006 3:29 PM]
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 3:28 PM |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,629
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Hi Outlaw,
When you look at a persons profile if you are a free member it will show if the person has looked at yours, winked or send an email, as well as what you have sent to that person. I can view who I have looked at in view history, but can not view who has looked at me that way. I was playing around with the settings the other day, that is the only reason I found out I can set mine to no one knows I viewed. I don't do that as I don't care who knows I viewed their profile. oh and nope not a member of adult MD....lol
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Witchie,
You misunderstood me, I was talking about the section where you can see the peoples' profiles in your view history section ( who's viewed me). I was saying that the ability to view those same people that have checked out your profile was a option IF you decided to upgrade your membership to gold. (its free on the adult matchdoctor site) As for what you are talking about I think I blocked that function on my profile so no one knows IF I looked at their profile or not (course I could be wrong... )
[Edited on 8/26/2006 4:02 PM]
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 8:48 PM |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,629
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sorry Outlaw 
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| Aug 27, 2006 @ 1:39 AM |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,388
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Outlaw now you have gone and made Witchie blush.
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| Aug 28, 2006 @ 11:18 AM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Thats a first Doves!! Normally its the ladies that make this ugly mug blush!!
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| Aug 28, 2006 @ 12:57 PM |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,388
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Quit calling yourself Ugly Im gonna come and pop you one 
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| Aug 28, 2006 @ 1:42 PM |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Promises Promises Dove!
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