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BE NICE, REPLY


Apr 22, 2007 @ 6:57 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
ChefJoe51


Posts: 5
I have my soap box out. Here it comes.

BE NICE AND REPLY TO EMAILS. I am sure I am not the only one bothered by this. How many times have you written someone on a dating site? How many times have you not gotten a reply? I am sure both men and women have not replies. You may think you won't mix or this person is a nut or something. Come on people, it won't hurt, and there is no cost. Even if the reply is, "Thanks, but no thinks.", it is a reply.
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 7:29 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
witchietoo


Posts: 2,630
Other then ones you can tell are scams...I reply politely to everyone. I am not a rude person and to me, not replying at all is rude. It does tend to backfire in your face at times though. Have gotten plenty of nasty responses back to my polite thanks, but no thanks reply.
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 7:59 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
fatchick


Posts: 15
It seems like the ones i am nice too and say sorry not interested turn out to be lunatics and won't leave me alone until i block them..... but i do try to reply, sometimes however...i just laugh and delete...
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 8:33 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
Dovestreasure


Posts: 3,419
I as a rule will reply to everyone. If someone has taken the time to write to me they do indeed deserve a response. This past week I have been a bit slow to respond however. I have been reading my messages in the wee hours and have waited to be more coherant to respond. The only messages that are read and deleted are those of sexual nature.
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 8:38 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
fuchia04


Posts: 953
Fatchick makes a good point. If you're not interested, why send back a reply if it's just going to result in you getting a nasty e-mail back. I've sent e-mails to women and gotten no replies back, but I've never gotten my feelings hurt just because I didn't get a reply back from a person I've never talked to before. It's frustrating, yes. But hey, that's life! It's ridiculous to get all bent out of shape over it.

If someone walks up to you, in person - that is, physically, face-to-face - and politely expressed interest in you, and you ignore them, then, of course, that would be different. In that case, it's just rude. However, this is not a bar. This is the Internet. On the Internet, nobody owes you a reply. Period. Get used to it!

Think about it. It's not much different than when you fill out an application for a job and never hear back from the prospective employer. Also consider that it's worse for someone to respond to your e-mail of interest to them, insulting you, than for them to not reply at all. I'd rather receive no reply than to get a nasty one. I'd venture to say that people are more polite on the Internet than in person, when it comes to "dating" because, in person, you likely won't get ignored; you'd, instead, get a drink splashed in your face, slapped in the face, laughed at, etc. merely because you annoyed the person, by saying 'hi' to them.

- the Fuchian

[Edited on 4/22/2007 8:48 PM]
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 8:47 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
Dovestreasure


Posts: 3,419
Sorry Fuchia although you know I adore you.. I think the internet has made it easier for people to treat others with a lack of respect. As you said you would not clearly ignore someone in person who tried to interact with you. It takes a few moments to acknowledge another, interested or not. I certainly do not get out of sorts of someone does not write back to me , but I sure think so much more of those who do.

I have seen a societal trend as a whole. Manners and social graces are not as they once were, cross the board. It appears to be a dying art.
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Apr 22, 2007 @ 9:27 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
fuchia04


Posts: 953
Well, Dove, in spite of my views on this matter, I must say I admire you and Witchie for taking the time to respond to everyone who expresses interest in you. That is admirable that you take the time to do that. While I don't feel a stranger who is uninterested in me owes me a reply back when I send them an e-mail of interest, if they choose to send me a polite no-thank-you message back, then I am grateful for having the privilege of them taking the time to do that for me.
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Apr 23, 2007 @ 9:03 AM BE NICE, REPLY    
Blondiblue


Posts: 88
I try to reply back to all, but when you tell someone you aren't interested for whatever reason, and they keep sending you mail telling you to give them a chance, then I start to just delete their mail. I don't like to be rude, but when you say NOT interested, they should stop bothering you. I guess maybe they don't know what "not interested" means........
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Apr 23, 2007 @ 4:40 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
outlaw_star


Posts: 1,089
Well, I sent a friendly e-mail on POF to a lady and got a semi-rude response to it. When I tried to respond to it, I found out she had me BLOCKED before even giving me a chance to respond to her e-mail. So IF you want to make a list of rude things I think that tops one of the top 3.
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Apr 23, 2007 @ 5:40 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
ChefJoe51


Posts: 5
As has been stated, you can push the block button or report the abuse. Like Dove said, manners are not as they use to be. She and I have worked in a place where good manners are a must. You would be fired for not having good manners. In short, let's all try to make this place a little better. I will do my part.
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Apr 24, 2007 @ 12:03 AM BE NICE, REPLY    
Dovestreasure


Posts: 3,419
Chef you are right about that.. when you are working in the hospitality industry and working with children it just becomes second nature to be polite. Please, Thank you, your welcome, and a genuine smile come easily for me. I find it takes far more energy to be rude and unkind.
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Apr 26, 2007 @ 10:46 AM BE NICE, REPLY    
draevyn


Posts: 6
ChefJoe51 That's one of my pet peeves. I send a lot of emails during the day (mostly having to do with work, not dating.. I'm not that desperate yet:)) And it annoys the hell out of me when I never get a reply. I'm willing to wait a few days because people get busy.. but come on! It's common courtesy!
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Apr 26, 2007 @ 4:05 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
Deezers73


Posts: 27
ya know i try to answer all of them, but some of the emails come from members who for some reason "cancel" their account or are from different countries. i get alot of emails from men from ghana or another african city. i dont think i have it in me to have some a long distance relationship. there are times when i tell them thanks but no thanks... they still dont get it. i have gotten a few married men looking for extra activities.. ... for the most part i try to answer them.
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Apr 26, 2007 @ 11:48 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
eAngel6969


Posts: 91
i'm on a couple different sites - for different reasons...but get some REALLY lame stuff...some crude stuff...etc...

if someone messages me first, and their message or profile, or something about them grabs my attention in some way...i definately respond - even if not interested

if they say something in the message that is conversational and gives me something to respond to...it's also a good thing

if someone catches my eye thru intelligent posts, etc...i tend to message them first...but i don't get bent out of shape for no response - not everyone wants to get to know me, etc...for instance, i just messaged someone who lives a ways away from me...i may not get a response when he sees the distance...





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Apr 27, 2007 @ 12:20 AM BE NICE, REPLY    
creamqueeny


Posts: 26
I don't reply because my profile states exactly what I'm looking for.
If I get a message from someone who is over my age limit or too far away well, they should have read my profile..it clearly states it in there.

Why should I have to respond? Read the damn thing in the first place.
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 2:26 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
Dovestreasure


Posts: 3,419
Deezers run as fast as you can from those messages from Ghana or anywhere in that general vicinity .. they are Scammers . There is some entertainment element in stringing them along for awhile.. it really takes very little to see right through their facade. Although married men that cheat (married ladies too) are the scum of the earth, I have more respect for the ones that are right up front about it. You have the option to dismiss them from the get go. Far worse are the ones that claim to divorced or seperated but in reality are not. Now thats reallllllly low
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 11:40 AM BE NICE, REPLY    
Deezers73


Posts: 27
I usually dont give the ghana scammers a chance. i either tell them no thanks and then block them or i just block them. anyone who wants just 'a good time" i tell them about adultmatchdoctor.com. or i just hit delete.
although it would be nice if we messaged someone and then if they were interested they would say no thanks and go into detail as to why they werent interested......but since this isnt a perfect world... and no one really gives constructive feedback....... i guess its best to just move along.
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 1:29 PM BE NICE, REPLY    
outlaw_star


Posts: 1,089
I usually dont give the ghana scammers a chance. i either tell them no thanks and then block them or i just block them. anyone who wants just 'a good time" i tell them about adultmatchdoctor.com. or i just hit delete

Hmmm, I just hit the 'report spam' button then the 'mark mail as unread' button whenever I get one of "those" e-mails, then wait a few weeks to see IF they are still on or if the words "profile canceled" appears after their name before deleting the e-mail.
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