| Mar 8, 2008 @ 1:13 AM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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Ok, let me say this before I get jumped on...lol I am using men as an example as I am female and have no interest in dating woman...lol Now with that said Witchie is going to stir up the pot again...lol
What the hell is wrong with men in FL lately? It seems more and more men just want friends with benefits instead of even trying to have a real relationship. Not just on this site, but others that I am on I would have to say 75% of the guys I get emails from want nothing more then sex. Why would a guy even email a woman that has it plainly stated that she is not looking for a one night stand and basically say they just want sex? If all I wanted was a roll in the hay I would just go on Adult MD or some other such site. 
I think what drives me nuts about all this more then anything else is on the guys profile it can have they are looking for a LTR. For the first few days or weeks they seem like such a nice guy, then out of the blue it turns into well I would love to play, but not really ready for a relationship. Jeez if we are good enough for you to pursue for a bit and want to sleep with, why aren't we good enough for a relationship? Now I will admit that a couple of my pictures can cause a little of the problem  , but hell I have lost a bunch of weight and I don't mind showing it. Ok, well they are also the only new pictures I have....lol Plus, I don't hide the fact that I am covered with tattoo's and would rather be open in pictures about that then blind side someone.
I know I'm not the only one that runs into this issue as a few of us woman have talked about it. Us woman are totally confused about this. I swear men are more confusing then woman!!
Ok, my rant is over for now....feel free to set me straight.
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 5:43 AM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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Tracker0523
Posts: 7
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lol...well, i'm also on AMD as well as here.....i would prefer a LTR but, i'm open and up for anything......as for the other guys ....i think i have a good idea why they are like that....they don't wanna do the constant emailing back and forth and the instant messaging of getting to know the person very well before meeting for dinner ....most women now adays work 5 and 6 days a week....40 hours or more a week plus kids, bills, clean, cook....the list goes on...so some women only get online a couple or a few times out of the week....doesn't give a guy the chance to really get to know someone or keep them interested .......here's a good example....a woman i was interested in a few yrs ago....we met on here and talked back and forth through email....once a week....and it was only on the weekends...then we decided to move to instant messenger chat and talk that way....again only on the weekends...long story short...us guys need more attention then that like you women need a lot of attention....needless to say we still talk but, only as friends and not every weekend anymore....just when we see each other online occasionally....oh, and it's not just like that here in Florida....it's everywhere....i'm mostly on AMD because i have friends there in the chat room that i cut up with....a bunch of us regulars...we have fun...and we get to let loose and not have to worry about chat room rules like no cursing and such...i know theres quite a few people from matchdoctor on AMD....however i don't see them in the AMD chat room....
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 12:53 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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I dont know, with personal business and such taking up everybody's time in trying to have a relationship.
I operate under the motto of having sex first with a potential girlfriend (to get that out of the way) to see IF there is anything to build on or go beyond the friendship phase. I got that idea from talking with a co-worker of mine a few years ago.
According to him it takes the guess work out of everything and you save a lot of time (that is normally wasted leading up to the sex act) to find out IF you want a relationship with someone or not. plus you find out what type of person they are when their 'guard' is down. It worked out for me during a 'relationship' I had with a co-worker back in the 20th century that taught me a lot and showed me that she was untrustworthy and I ended that after 2 weeks. First and last time I date a co-worker!
I remember a episode of "talk radio" once where the owner of the radio station was interested in a lady and they 'negotiated' a relationship in 5 minutes and found that they were incompadible. True that was tv but in real life we can go to a lady and have the same type of "negotiation' that they did so what can a guy do in real life?
Admit it! sex is a part of the relationship and to most guys a 'BIG' part of it. Plus according to a newspaper report I read a few weeks back about some group tagging and monitoring cats. they found that one male cat had mated with over 30 female cats over a 1 year period. So, its in most guys' nature to mate as many times and with as many females as possible.
That might explain why the "good looking" guys gets all the females and guys with 'ugly mugs' never get lucky!
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 3:04 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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Thank you guys for your responses....lol Trying to say this without it sounding really bad...lol
Ok, let me say this first. I don't have an issue at all with sex so that isn't an issue. I don't have a problem with talking about sex with a guy or just letting loose once in awhile. Hell I can tease with the best of them...lol
I guess my biggest issue is how some of the guys respond to things. Let me give you a very recent example...it sent major red flags up and every other woman I have talked to about it agreed with me. On another site, I got a nice email from this guy. We went back and forth for the better part of two hours just chatting about the site, stuff like that. Nothing major just feeling each other out. For the next week I got emails from him just little hi hope you have a good day types. He did mention that he wanted to meet and I had told him I really needed to get to know him better as he didn't really say much about himself in the emails. Most of the emails were comments or questions about me. The only things I really knew about him was what town he lived in, how old he was and that he worked for a certain company till 11:30 pm. I broke one of my major rules and gave him my number as that week I was working till 10 pm or later. I told him to feel free to call me after he got out of work so we could talk and really get to know each other. He never called, not a big deal really, I know I don't always want to deal with people after work. Anyway, I did receive a message from him just saying hi. I point blank asked him a few questions, like what did he do at the company he worked for. His response from that point on to everything was "I wish I could just hold you." No matter what I asked him, that was his standard reply. Needless to say, at this point he started creeping me out a bit and has since been blocked.
us guys need more attention then that like you women need a lot of attention
I would love to give a guy all the attention he needed, but at the same time, I want to be able to talk about more then just sex....lol
Admit it! sex is a part of the relationship and to most guys a 'BIG' part of it.
Oh I agree 100% with that one!! It isn't just guys that it is a big part of the relationship. As much as I would like to say it really doesn't matter, it does. Not just myself, but other friends I can think of a few relationships that ended after the two had slept together. You can get along wonderfully as "friends" but the sexual part just wasn't there or what you had expected. To me, if the intimate part of your relationship is bad, it will hurt the relationship as a whole.
That might explain why the "good looking" guys gets all the females and guys with 'ugly mugs' never get lucky!
That isn't true. I know a few good looking guys that don't get that many dates. I have been told by both sexes, that being good looking tends to intimidate potential mates. A woman I knew a few years ago did some modeling. She was a very nice person, yet she was always alone. Guys didn't really come onto her unless they were drunk or just ass'. A lot of men just wanted her for sex or eye candy. Thankfully, she has meet a wonderful man who loves her for her. Oh and by the way, he isn't a "good looking" guy, he is average looking.
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 5:51 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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Ok, let me say this first. I don't have an issue at all with sex so that isn't an issue. I don't have a problem with talking about sex with a guy or just letting loose once in awhile. Hell I can tease with the best of them...lol
That I will agree with!! She can make a sailor blush with some of the stuff she says!
You can get along wonderfully as "friends" but the sexual part just wasn't there or what you had expected. To me, if the intimate part of your relationship is bad, it will hurt the relationship as a whole.
Heh, she said that better then I did concerning my motto on relationships but basically that was the point I was trying to make! Thanks Witchie!
That might explain why the "good looking" guys gets all the females and guys with 'ugly mugs' never get lucky!
HEH, I'm surprised that Witchie didnt threaten to kick my butt again over that comment about myself!
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 8:31 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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That I will agree with!! She can make a sailor blush with some of the stuff she says!
Who sweet, innocent me? I'm bad enough on my own, but put me with Dove, JF and Honbee I am a lot worse....lol
HEH, I'm surprised that Witchie didnt threaten to kick my butt again over that comment about myself!
Blame it on being a medicine head....my brain is foggy. Now that you brought it to my attention I will just have to kick your butt for that comment...lol
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| Mar 8, 2008 @ 11:16 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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honbee42
Posts: 348
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I don't understand it either. Why are there more friends with benefits than relationships? Are people (men in general), that scared of having an honest to goodness relationship? Some don't know the potential hurt it causes when one is trying to have a relationship and the other is just there for the sex.
Witchie is right about the guys that post LTR on their profiles. They get on your good side with all the good lines and promises and then back off. They don't call or write. They get to know everything about you and then just disappear. No sorry we're not right for each other or anything. Or better yet there are the ones that your in a relationship with and they in turn tell your friends that they never had a girlfriend or a relationship. In the meantime your standing there wondering what you are.
I do agree that sex is part of the relationship and that there are relationships that end because they aren't compatible, but if they work on it, things can happen.
A friend of mine told me that when he and his wife first met, they didn't get along sexually. Instead of giving up though they worked on the things that were wrong. They got married and had 2 kids. She died not long after the second child was born, but the thing is, is that they worked on it.
I guess then too some look at entering a relationship as being a crash and burn on the first hello. Just because one relationship is like that you shouldn't look at all of them as being that. You should look at them as being positive. You never know, the next one you meet could be that one. Heck then too, maybe one of the ones you saw could have been that one too.
So, its in most guys' nature to mate as many times and with as many females as possible.
I thought that was just the high school days.
Who sweet, innocent me? I'm bad enough on my own, but put me with Dove, JF and Honbee I am a lot worse....lol
Yep, I will agree with you on that one...lol That's why Witchie has her own corner... 
[Edited on 3/8/2008 11:43 PM]
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 4:23 AM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,419
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I operate under the motto of having sex first with a potential girlfriend (to get that out of the way) to see IF there is anything to build on or go beyond the friendship phase. I got that idea from talking with a co-worker of mine a few years ago.
Outlaw I know women and men are wired different, and I have a very different take on building on a relationship after getting sex out of the way. For me and most women I have in my friendship circle believe a relationship should first be built on a foundation of friendship. In this stage you can discover each others needs and wants, and interests. Then as sparks ignite and feelings grow, you move to the next level. I see making love as being a passionate connection between two people who desire one another but care about them as well. If you use sex as devise that will make the relationship endure, it will likely fail. When you have feelings for someone sex is far sweeter then a one night stand or simply a friend with benefits.
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 5:28 AM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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Tracker0523
Posts: 7
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well said dove....agree with you 100%....
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 10:29 AM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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MAJI34744
Posts: 1
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You tell them girlfriend!!! It seems that Florida is going through a drought in REAL MEN!! Out of staters are more than welcome to fill that gap! There are way too many decent women here in Florida to be left single. Most of the replies i have gotten are for casual encounters even though it says specifically i am not looking for anything but serious. It is just plain disrespectful and makes me angry.
Yours truly
Jody
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 2:00 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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gunn12fan
Posts: 2,294
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I agree with all of you I'm a real guy looking for an LTR but its getting real hard to find a lady that wants one. I have been told that I am a real sweet guy with a big heart . if there is a drought in men there must be One heck of a drought in women too because i can't find em  
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 2:51 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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Tracker0523
Posts: 7
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True....gets me upset when i email a woman and no reply back or anything.....not sure what people really want anymore....I guess someone will find me when i least expect it or when i'm not looking...
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| Mar 9, 2008 @ 8:46 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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jfreak68
Posts: 1,184
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Who sweet, innocent me? I'm bad enough on my own, but put me with Dove, JF and Honbee I am a lot worse....lol
Oh man don't you know it!!! We are such a bad influence... Shame on us!!! I think we need to go out and be bad again, it was fun... 
As for men, I think I am going to give up on them.. 
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| Mar 10, 2008 @ 12:42 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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if the intimate part of your relationship is bad, it will hurt the relationship as a whole.
Is MY personal motto in finding that special person for a realtionship Dove, thou distance and finanical security on my part also plays a part. Plus when did I suddenly become the bad guy? Was it becasue I was the only guy here that can share his personal checklist when looking for a LTR??
Heh, Witchie can make a sailor blush when she cuts loose but for me the record still stands with Jfreak and Honbee in making ME blush!
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| Mar 10, 2008 @ 4:51 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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It seems that Florida is going through a drought in REAL MEN!! Out of staters are more than welcome to fill that gap! There are way too many decent women here in Florida to be left single.
Good Idea, hook up with a out-of-stater (aka a "snow bird") and depending on where he lives be prepared to either freeze to death, suffer thru a drought or flooding or have fun with the earthquakes and/or landslides.
Judging from some of the responses from either e-mails and/or comments made on their photos or blogs (when and/or IF they DO respond that is) I've gotten here and on another site I am thinking that MOST WOMEN are just looking for someone rich, good looking and will take care of them! Seems there are too many decent men here in Florida getting rejected by shallow minded ladies!
[Edited on 3/10/2008 4:59 PM]
[Edited on 3/10/2008 5:37 PM]
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| Mar 11, 2008 @ 12:40 AM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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eAngel6969
Posts: 91
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ok...not having read all the replies but getting the jist of the thread...felt compelled to comment...
i agree that men and women are wired differently - in that they go about getting what they want differently...there are also double standards about how a man and a woman are treated in the same incident...for instance, a man bringing a woman flowers to a first date is seen as cute and romantic...that wouldn't generally be viewed the same if the woman did it
it's kind of funny - but what i have noticed is that the people on dating websites seem to never really want an LTR with anyone they meet...
then visit an adult website where people go to find sex partners without strings and many times you have people who really want LTR's
i met my other half with the total goal of neither one of us wanting anything serious and just looking for safe, clean, regular fun...3 days later we became exclusive (shocking us both) and after a few months together now we're just getting closer and stronger each and every day...
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| Mar 11, 2008 @ 1:01 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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Dolcegal
Posts: 2
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LOL...i loved your headline...and i believe it has to be the water. Maybe its from that new reoprt that just came out about all the medications in the water. Being in the healthcare field you would be amazed how many more people are on anti-psychotic drugs especially in south Florida compared to other parts of the country i have lived. And I agree, for the most part women are not the complicated ones and for the men that think we are when they finally meet one that's not, that puts it all out there they don't want it....lol.
Men try to figure out women as much as we try to figure them out. It is very difficult in this day and age to sate and personally I don't feel that the internet makes things any easier, i think it actually makes things easier to lie and cheat. Be cautious and if a man comes across that way to you, thank him for showing his true colors before you really invest your time. Goodluck to you girl!
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| Mar 11, 2008 @ 1:02 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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Dolcegal
Posts: 2
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LOL...i loved your headline...and i believe it has to be the water. Maybe its from that new reoprt that just came out about all the medications in the water. Being in the healthcare field you would be amazed how many more people are on anti-psychotic drugs especially in south Florida compared to other parts of the country i have lived. And I agree, for the most part women are not the complicated ones and for the men that think we are when they finally meet one that's not, that puts it all out there they don't want it....lol.
Men try to figure out women as much as we try to figure them out. It is very difficult in this day and age to date and personally I don't feel that the internet makes things any easier, i think it actually makes things easier to lie and cheat. Be cautious and if a man comes across that way to you, thank him for showing his true colors before you really invest your time. Goodluck to you girl!
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| Mar 11, 2008 @ 1:30 PM |
Is there something in the water down here?
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honbee42
Posts: 348
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That's really great eAngel. Hope that it continues for a long time.
And Witchie before I forget again. Your doing a great job and you should be very proud of yourself.  Wtg  
That might explain why the "good looking" guys gets all the females and guys with 'ugly mugs' never get lucky!
Witchie SHOULD kick your butt for that one
Oh man don't you know it!!! We are such a bad influence... Shame on us!!! I think we need to go out and be bad again, it was fun...
Who us, bad? I thought we were well behaved that night.  LOL. Yes we do need another night out to show off our bad behavior...lol
Plus when did I suddenly become the bad guy?
No one said you were the bad guy. Your the town sheriff.
Heh, Witchie can make a sailor blush when she cuts loose but for me the record still stands with Jfreak and Honbee in making ME blush!
That was too easy...LOL
Good Idea, hook up with a out-of-stater (aka a "snow bird") and depending on where he lives be prepared to either freeze to death, suffer thru a drought or flooding or have fun with the earthquakes and/or landslides.
Since when did Florida become a disaster free state?
I am thinking that MOST WOMEN are just looking for someone rich, good looking and will take care of them! Seems there are too many decent men here in Florida getting rejected by shallow minded ladies!
Some maybe, not most though. Most women are looking for love and romance reguardless of how much money guys have or don't have and what he looks like. Yes, attraction helps, but it doesn't make who the person is. I think it all comes down to what is in the heart.
Women don't normally stero type in their profiles that they have to have the perfect Ken doll, as most men come out and say right in their profiles that they want the perfect Barbie. She has to be thin, pretty, long hair, ect. I've definatly seen a lot of those profiles.Then there are the ones that claim to want to be with you, yet they want to change just about everything about you, so you will look like what they want and they are even willing to pay for that. Society, peers and the way we were brought up has a big part in this as well.
Me, I do put certain things in my profile as to what my ideal mate would be, but I also bend those things. Not because I'm desparate, but because if I don't I could be missing out what could be the right one.
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| Mar 12, 2008 @ 3:31 PM |
Is there something in the water down here? |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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I do agree that sex is part of the relationship and that there are relationships that end because they aren't compatible, but if they work on it, things can happen.
Well, Like I said my personal motto is to get the intimate/sexual part out of the way first but THAT isnt set in stone. It helped me with that co-worker fisaco and wasnt a part that ended that "relationship" either.
I guess then too some look at entering a relationship as being a crash and burn on the first hello. Just because one relationship is like that you shouldn't look at all of them as being that. You should look at them as being positive. You never know, the next one you meet could be that one. Heck then too, maybe one of the ones you saw could have been that one too.
Well, I had a "first contact", face to face meeting with a lady that e-mailed me from another site and after several (dozen) e-mail exchanges, one sided telephone calls and text messages, we agreed to met in person. First "date" I ever had that DIDNT end in a 'crash & burn' within 5 minutes of meeting.
We had a lovely time talking (3 hours) and even thou I was honest in my answers to her I looked at it as a positive thing. The problem was during the course of our "date" I found out she lives in Plant City and NOT Tampa (as her profile stated) and considering my current problems including the high gas prices I asked her via e-mail, IF we can take it slow in developing this relationship since she was pushing for a second date ASAP.
Got a e-mail response basically saying that since I wanted to 'take it slow' that she was ending the start of this potential relationship with me. I also checked my accounts with other dating sites and she cancelled her account with them.
Ok, What is wrong in taking it slow in developing a new relationship? And NO I respected her choice when I told her about my personal motto and she said she wasnt ready for it. The "feeling" I got from the e-mails and from our talking was that she wanted us to move in together and get married within the month.
IF its bad for guys to want to have sex with a lady when they contact you, what is wrong with the guy wanting to take it slow in developing a potential relationship???
That might explain why the "good looking" guys gets all the females and guys with 'ugly mugs' never get lucky!
Witchie SHOULD kick your butt for that one
Heh, who knows? I might like that Honbee! 
Heh, Witchie can make a sailor blush when she cuts loose but for me the record still stands with Jfreak and Honbee in making ME blush!
That was too easy...LOL
Yeah, Considering that JFreak asked you to join in and then I went from being teased by one lady to being double teamed by two Honbee!!
[Edited on 3/12/2008 3:52 PM]
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