| Mar 15, 2008 @ 6:05 PM |
Military Men
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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No this isn't a rant or anything like that. Just looking for honest opinions.
Ok, now there is a guy on a different site that I have been chatting with for awhile now. Very funny, sweet man, I enjoy chatting with him a lot. He is in the military and right now stationed in Iraq.  Most of the time it is just normal chit chat about silly things or nothing at all really. Every once in awhile he will come out with a comment about what he would like to do with me when he gets home. Now before you all start thinking sex, I mean different places he would like to go to or things he would enjoy doing with me, such as boating, fishing, things of that nature. I normally just give a basic reply, not going into much detail with him about the stuff. If he was coming home in a few months I would find replying to him so much easier, but he is over there until Aug 2009.
I would love to be able to say, I would love to do things those things with you, but he will be gone almost a year and a half. Anything can happen between now and then. He could meet someone, I could meet someone...and of course being realistic, he could get killed while he is there. Where he is and what he is doing over there isn't really talked about much as I try to make him smile and joke around...more or less giving him a break from reality. That is one of the things he said he enjoys about me, I don't start with the but you might get killed stuff or stating my feelings on the whole war thing. I chat with him like he is in his home state of GA, not across the ocean dealing with a war.
I don't want to give him a sense of false hope for the future as neither one of us knows what will happen by then. Oh and by the way, if he was here and not in Iraq I would love to date him, so it isn't a he is in the military, stationed far away from home and I feel sorry for him thing. He is a very nice, sweet and caring person.
Anyway, suggestions on how to deal with this issue, without hurting him or giving him the wrong impression? 
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| Mar 15, 2008 @ 6:40 PM |
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jfreak68
Posts: 1,184
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Well at least he isn't afraid to talk to ya as the one I was with was, he just stopped all contact when he went over there, what a bummer, he was hot...
[Edited on 3/15/2008 7:39 PM]
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| Mar 15, 2008 @ 8:26 PM |
Military Men
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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that is true...difference is this one is a lot older and has been over there almost a year already.
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| Mar 15, 2008 @ 10:08 PM |
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honbee42
Posts: 348
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Witchie, I don't think it would be a bad thing to talk about what you would like to do. It's not really giving him a false hope, it's a moral booster. It gives him something to think about other than where he is at and what he was sent there to do.
From what I've heard from guys that have been sent there, there really isn't much to do. The last place I worked at, we would send like care packages every so often and we would get letters back thanking us. For them it was like a small gift from above.
I think that anything like stating what you would like to do when he got back is like that small gift. He probably enjoys thinking of things he'd like to be doing in the future than thinking of the here and now.
I'd go ahead and tell him that it would be nice to do this or that. It sure beats talking about the war and what could be.
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| Mar 15, 2008 @ 10:12 PM |
Military Men
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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I know what you mean about the care packages...he must have asked me about ten times today if I would write him a letter....emails aren't the same, he wants something to hold and read at night...when it is quiet and lonely. That is sad, yet sweet at the same time.
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 4:44 AM |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,419
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Witchie I had a good friend that had two tours of duty in Iraq. When Mac returned he could not say enough how much the Emails , letters and care packages meant to him that I and other friends sent. We never let a day go by where he did not hear from someone. He told us that were soldiers who did not get any correspondence while they were there.
These soliders are going through hell in Iraq. And sometimes they might need a little motivation from the outside to keep them going, to remind them of what's back at home. Their buddy right next to them might be getting packages and letters every day. But what if he gets nothing at all?
Just keep writing. Write inspirational quotes, talk about anything as simple as sports or ask him what their favorite movie is and why. Keep him posted on whats going on at home. Talk to him about his dreams and hopes for the future. Talking about spending time with you will give him something to look foward to.
Every time you write he will know someone cares about them. Think about the smile on his face, and how much he enjoys writing back. Send him a "real letter" who knows, you might make a friend for life, and it will be so great to know that the day he gets that letter, it was you who made a bleak day a little bit better.
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 7:01 AM |
Military Men
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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lol...ok, I get the point....I will stop being a worry wart and be myself in responses.
As for writing him a real letter, I did that last night. I can't remember the last time I sat down and wrote a letter. There was no spell check and I don't know how many times I went to put a smilie or lol in it....lol I gave him plenty to read though....10 and a half pages....lol
When he asked me to write I asked him how long it takes to get a letter, he told me letters are 7 days, packages are about 13....I promised him when I was off next weekend I would send him a care package....he wants chocolate chip cookies....any other suggestions?
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 7:50 AM |
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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Well I thought I would post this as I found it interesting. I was just searching for idea's on what to send Dale in a care package....also checking to see what is not allowed too. Oh and before you ask, yes I asked him what he needed or wanted, he said whatever I want to send to send.
Anyway, I came across a site that links you to the USPS...you can order online boxes just for military people overseas to send care packages. They come in a pack of ten and are sent to you by the postal service for free! Also these boxes no matter what they weigh or where they are going only cost 10.95 to ship.
The site I found is this one...I'm going to list a few others as part of me thinks some of us have forgotten about the men and women over there, due to our busy lives. Dove's comment about some of them not getting mail got me thinking. There are a bunch of other sites that send packages for you.
Great Ideas for Soldiers
Military Packing tips by the USPS (order boxes here too)
USO Army Care Packages
Parcels with Love
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 12:28 PM |
Military Men
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Trike_Rider2
Posts: 14
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Ok, now there is a guy on a different site that I have been chatting with for awhile now. Very funny, sweet man, I enjoy chatting with him a lot. He is in the military and right now stationed in Iraq. Most of the time it is just normal chit chat about silly things or nothing at all really. Every once in awhile he will come out with a comment about what he would like to do with me when he gets home. Now before you all start thinking sex, I mean different places he would like to go to or things he would enjoy doing with me, such as boating, fishing, things of that nature. I normally just give a basic reply, not going into much detail with him about the stuff. If he was coming home in a few months I would find replying to him so much easier, but he is over there until Aug 2009.
As a retired Army veteran let me offer my experience. My military service was a different time 1955 until 1976 however the days and nights far away from home in hostile places probably cross the same lines. I never had e-mail and most of the time no telephone calls was possible, however we could call via the MARS radios. So regular letters was the mode of communications. Keep in mind the previous commo. methods covered my entire service career.
A couple of my overseas assignments was when I was married and she communicated almost every day. The letters had newspaper snips of what was going on in and around my home town at that time (Spokane). Items from what the weather was doing to who won at the local drag strip or just plain old trivia.
On my tours when I was a single person my home town mail was from my mom and dad. I did have a girl friend that lived in S.C. and she kept me posted about her job and the area where she lived, and along the lines of various holiday or special occasion cards. I am not sure what she would have mailed had it not been we were romanticaley connected. But I found the information about the local area and happeings interesting as well as informative.
My two years in Vietnam was certainely different than my other 12 years being overseas and away from the states. I was married and we communicated useing small wire recorders, they could be sent free and was almost an hour long. So they had voices of friends as well as special sounds. Not much war talk and none of the anti war stuff that our dear Jane Fonda and others like her was spewing. I never shared my dailey events of being a helicopter gun ship aviator, she knew that was what I was trained to do.
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 12:29 PM |
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Trike_Rider2
Posts: 14
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Part two of three messages
My second tour 1969/70 the local school district in Spokane had a program where a school class from one of the schools in the district would adopt a military person from the Spokane area. I was adopted by a 6th grade class, the children who wanted to could write to us. They had guidelines about what they could ask and we had received a letter before any of the children got our names about what we should not share. Nothing about blood guts and gore etc.
The first letters was introductory about their names and what they liked in school and what they had as pets. But as the school season went on the letters became more about their families and their ambitions and goals. Of course they would always say to be safe and they would say a prayer. I was able to take pictures of the surrounding area as well as where I worked and my quarters. I would send them to the teacher and she would then share with the class. I was at a place called Pleiku and near that place was a mountain that had a acient fable about it. Some how the children found out about it. Dragon Mountain supposed to have been the home of a dragon that watched over that part of Vietnam and the people that lived there. They asked me if I knew about it so I flew over it and took many pictures and sent them to the teacher.
In the letters the kids sent was all kinds of drawings that they made about what ever they wanted to draw their pets, maybe a helicopter or their dads boat or moms new hair do. Mail was a great diversion from the dailey smells and sounds. Email may be nice but is no replacement for the same words on a piece of paper, you can't smell the aroma of the person that held that pen or pencil as they wrote. Moms Dove hand soap, the wifes perfume each letter had its own personallity.
The kids at the school put together a care package each month. They used one gallon plastic jars and they would have every thing from Rubic cubes to sardines in a can. Most of the time the candy bars had melted and the cookies was crumbs or rancid. Those packages took almost a month to get delivered so only the hardy stuff survived.
My tour ended in May of 1970 and I was going to Spokane on leave so the school invited me to come visit the class as well as the school district offices. I dressed up in my sharpest uniform and visited not knowing what it was going to be like. Especially after being told at The SF airport that I didn't deserve to get on the plane to Seattle. That was another story and a different time.
Any rate the teacher met me at the school principle's office along with a rep from the district. We talked a bit and then I was introduced to the class. They had learned the Army song and after I was introduced they stood and sang the song, then sang the Star Spangled Banner. Needless to say I stood with tears streaming down my face and today just remembering that moment has the same effect. 
Each child introduced them selves, some gave me a hug some just looked at me and smiled, a very very special moment in my life. We had a long question and answer period then we all went to the canteen and had a lunch. I forgot how small those chairs and seats were, my 6 foot plus 185 pound body was a bit cramped. Several of the kids continued to write me thru the years and one went on to become a teacher and was teaching ia an American/Hondurian school. I had a trip planned for the winter to Honduras so I contacted her. She asked me to visit her and her 6th grade class. Her students had been told about me and how she and I had met some 30 years before. That group of kids were just as excited to say hello as the earlier ones. They was going to celebrate Thanksgiving so I was invited to that event. The children of the school had an enactment of what they thought our Thanksgiving dinner must have been like. It was a fun event with lots of laughs, the teachers had donated the food and then cooked the meal. A complete traditional American Thanksgiving dinner in Honduras, another fond memory of times past.
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 12:30 PM |
Military Men
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Trike_Rider2
Posts: 14
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Part three of three messages
So now my advice, write letters dab a little perfume, soap,hair shampoo or spray on the envelope flap. Enclose newspaper articles about some of the areas he is interested in for instance who won the local fishing contest or what is going on at the local race track. Like this week end the 12 hours of Sebring. Maybe set down and made a cd of pictures a voice message even a mixture of different music. Mix it up. I would hope that todays Military has avaliable to them a lot of the items that we never even imagened when I was in a combat zone. I would think that they have all the technoligy we have here in the states.
Articles always help in getting to know some one as well as stimulate conversation other than the romantic. Nothing wrong with romantic talk except it is pretty limited when you have miles between you as well as months before that being together would be possible. Experience talking .
Be truthfull don't mis lead and most of all don't worry about some one getting killed or maimed you have no ability to prevent either. Just say a simple prayer each day and write them/him or her a letter.
If you have a desire and the time make a trip over to Tampa and the James Haley Veterans Hospital. Go up to the second floor and say hello to one or more of the patients that are in the hospital because of some Traumatic Head Injury. Meet their parents wives or significant others that are standing by their side and staying in the Fisher House. You will be forever changed.
Enough out of me
Proud to have served my Country in peace and times of hardship.
Art
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| Mar 16, 2008 @ 12:34 PM |
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honbee42
Posts: 348
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A few other things that we used to put in the boxes that I didn't see on the list:
Pencils
Pens
Paper
Envelopes
Stamps
Puzzel books, (word search, crossword, ect.)
Hand puzzels or games
Small bars of soap (ones like the hotels use or soap with the containers)
Cartoons from the news papers
Energy drinks (We used to get Red Bull)
Baby Wipes
You can also ship homemade cookies in the potato chip canasters (less packing space) or the metal tins
At Christmas every person got 10 cards and attached a candy cany to each one. This way there was something for every one.
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| Mar 21, 2008 @ 1:03 PM |
Military Men
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,630
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Hi everyone! Thank you for your replies. I have been working really long and strange hours this week, honestly just have been too tired to get on here.
Anyway, I did kind of do what you all suggested to a point. We were able to get a few things out in the open and talk about things between us. Funny thing was he was worried that I wouldn't be realistic about where he was and what he was doing there. So all in all it is good.
He is being a nudge and keeps telling me send whatever you like as long as he gets home made chocolate chip cookies....lol I was really surprised the other night after work, my phone had died and when I put it on the charger there were two voice mails from him. So, at least now I know we can talk even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes once in awhile. That kind of helps at least in my mind.
f you have a desire and the time make a trip over to Tampa and the James Haley Veterans Hospital. Go up to the second floor and say hello to one or more of the patients that are in the hospital because of some Traumatic Head Injury. Meet their parents wives or significant others that are standing by their side and staying in the Fisher House. You will be forever changed.
I have been to the VA hospital in St Petersburg many times. I had a friend who was in there on and off for a few years. I would go and visit him at least twice a week as he had no family here and none of his so called friends ever went to see him. It was a sad place and honestly I wish the government would do more for these hero's, but that is another subject for another time.
Anyway, if you all think of anything else, let me know! I am always open to suggestions!
Oh and before I forget, he may been able to come home for a leave in a few months, so I might get to meet him sooner then I thought.
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