| Apr 4, 2008 @ 4:26 PM |
"Differently-abled" people and dating
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JustAlan1981
Posts: 9
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I will be honest, dating and luck with the ladies has never been a strongsuit of mine, well, why else would I be here lol J/k of course. This is something I've been pondering to myself lately, is it shallow of me to prefer not to date women that are disabled? Now, I'm not by any means closed to the possibility, obviously I have a good many friends that are disabled as well, but I've always been able to connect with "able bodied" people alot easier than fellow disabled people, it just seems like alot of disabled people seem to think that just because I am too that we have an automatic bond, because "I know how it is", well in some ways I do, yes, but I've never really had that mindset, I mean I'm aware of my physical limitations but I rarely get all "in your face about it", honestly I've talked to many disabled people that make even me a tad uncomfortible.
So, I can't help but get a tad irritated and offended whenever my friends or family tell me about this disabled guy or girl they met, and pressure me into meeting them like we'll be instant good buddies or a match made in heaven, I know they mean well, but those implications just get under my skin. Am I in the wrong here?
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| Apr 4, 2008 @ 4:48 PM |
"Differently-abled" people and dating |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,089
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So, I can't help but get a tad irritated and offended whenever my friends or family tell me about this disabled guy or girl they met, and pressure me into meeting them like we'll be instant good buddies or a match made in heaven, I know they mean well, but those implications just get under my skin. Am I in the wrong here?
Actually No, you are not wrong here but I think that your friends and/or family tells you about a fellow disabled person they are either trying to expand that person's circle of friends or trying to play matchmaker.
I would recommend that you have a "reverse intervention" and call a meeting of all your friends and family and tell them how you feel and even thou you apprieciate that they are trying to help you and/or the other person you are old enought to make friends and/or find a lady on your own.
[Edited on 4/4/2008 5:03 PM]
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| Apr 4, 2008 @ 7:40 PM |
"Differently-abled" people and dating
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eyesee
Posts: 23
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You are only as abled as you live your life. Many people identify themselves by their abilities and disabilities, many people don't. Everyone is "differently-abled" at some point in their life, it is just whether it is on the surface for us to see or inside for them to hide.
I have had times in my life where I have had opportunity to comtemplate this question from both sides of the coin. As life goes on there are no gaurentees on who we will be tomorrow, things change. So though I may be attracted to your healthy physique, your athletic ability, and your adventurous spirit I better look into your soul and get to know the whole mind, body, and spirit.
When we connect on all those levels the beauty shines through of the one that is for you. Bonding happens when we have similar experiences, so don't turn your back on someone because they are "differently-abled", just look for someone who has used it as a diving board to a stronger life, rather than someone who is complaining the water is to deep to swim.
That's my thoughts, wish you the best, don't worry about the rest,
i
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| Apr 5, 2008 @ 12:37 AM |
"Differently-abled" people and dating |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,419
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eyesee that was beautifully stated , if only more people were so wise.
Alan I have an awesome friend that who is truely lovely in every sense of the word. She is physically beautiful , fun loving, intelligent has a awesome job and I am fortunate to call her friend. She is one of my partners in crime and she and my best friend lin often go out together. We are all as different as we are the same. I am the full figured lady, Linda is petite in size and stature. Mel is even shorter and has spina bifida. You get the three of us together and you just never know whats going to happen.
Mel has always dated and prefers men who are not disabled. I do not think she is shallow in any sense of the word its just her preference. Mel has no problem attracting men. Her smile is nearly enough and she is just a charismatic person. We all have our preferences and we are all attracted to different people. Thankfully so or there would not be enough of us to go around.
Family and friends mean well when they try to match up the single adults in their lives. However how well meaning they may be they need to have faith that you are quite capable of making this choice yourself.
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