| Jul 6, 2006 @ 8:38 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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southernlady238
Posts: 28
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Seems they always put their age, then put that they want someone at least 5-20 years younger.
No, I'm not 25 anymore, wouldn't qualify as arm candy for an old coot who wants to show me off to his friends and associates, but I'm a GREAT person!
So what is it, guys? Are all the guys over 40 going through mid life crises? Sure, I'd love to have a younger guy, but all the younger guys wanting older woman are looking to be gigolos.
It's a sad dating world for us over 40 gals.
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 5:23 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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KittyKat2006
Posts: 20
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Finally, on this site I'm getting emails from men in my age group! Southernlady, I know what you're talking about, tho. On some of the other singles sites, I was hearing from kids younger than my own children! Geesh! Wonder what that's all about! I don't mind a man that's a bit younger, but not the same age as my children OR younger. So, I must say, this site has been more age friendly........at least it has for me. Keep those emails coming.......I LOVE IT! Kat
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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jackf1950
Posts: 688
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well, I am WELL over 40... so I qualify for this post 
MOST of the ladies throughout my life have been 1 or 2 years older than me.....
teach me teach me 
I have, on occasion, went out with those a LOT younger, but the one I remember most, was about 15 years younger, blond, big... t ..well, you get it, I broke it off when us, and a few friends were standing around, talking about "where were you when Kennedy got shot?" and she said.....
drum roll
he died in a plane crash, he didn't get shot......
well, that was that, gotta have more than great sex for a relationship...
now, I am 55, and yes, my bottom age is 40..... figure they are mature enough, to 58, and have been out with ladies from all ages, just haven't found the one I thought was right, that thought I was right, yet...
Jack
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 2:18 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Well, I'm 40 and I am looking for someone within a 7 ~ 8 yr age range above or below my current age (changes yearly in January). I'm a intimidating looking guy but makes a great jack of all trades, master of most to the lady that I feel a spark with. I had one lady who lived in Tampa which given time we probably could have started a relationship but after reading that she is looking for a 'stud muffin boy toy' (thin, muscular, muscle bound) I thanked her for her interest and ended any more contact with her.
I know that most ladies here on this site that are over 45 to 60 are looking for young, hot, thin muscle bound or muscular guys in their 20's or so. Those ladies I reject after reading their profiles because all they want is some boy toy to show off to their friends. I also reject the ladies who are in a relationship and/or are married and those looking for someone who makes 30K to 100K + income. Makes me think they are looking for their next 'sugar daddy' to take care of them, while they cheat on their 'other half' or to take care of them after the so they dont have to work any more.
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 4:49 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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KittyKat2006
Posts: 20
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Oh OUTLAW, that's not true with all of us. I've had boys (and I do call them boys) that are younger than my children contact me. Now, tell me.......what in the world would we have in common?? I'd much prefer a man that I could have an actual conversation with and one that I didn't feel like I'd have to train. Nope......no boy toys on my agenda. 
Jackf1950......got a big laugh out of that about Kennedy!!! Point made about someone that you can talk to!!  Kat
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| Jul 7, 2006 @ 5:33 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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jackf1950
Posts: 688
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glad I could make you smile, thats half the fun....
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 9:05 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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suzieq0808
Posts: 1,080
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I think most of us are looking for someone in their age range. Don't want to be arm candy and have no interest in a gigalo.
Maybe those women who put an income range are looking for someone who makes about what they do? I make a comfortable living for one but not for two. He's got to be comfortable as well since I'm not willing to give up the financial security that I've worked for to support for both of us. The words "comfortable" and financial security mean different things to different people. Financial security depends on how one spends what they get. I've dated men with high incomes. Some of them live as much or more on the edge as men with lower incomes. I want balance.
Attitude and expectation is everything. Focus on what you do want.
[Edited on 7
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 9:58 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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buzzin
Posts: 1
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Howdy all,...would like to jump up in here and throw a couple of pennys in,..now, I'm well over forty,..and I got to say, I am not all that concerned on the age thing, when I read a lady's profile,..and I DO read the profile's, word for word,often, two or three times,if I'm interested,... and she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, we have some things in common,and she seems to know what it takes to make a relationship work,I'll drop her a line,...as we all should know folks, a person can be be 27, and have the maturty of a 55 year old,...and, on the other side of the coin, be 55 and have the mantality of a 20 year old,..I just reckon it all depends on, what one has been through in there past,..some of us grow up quick, and grow up hard, learn the ropes pretty quick,..while others, live what we call a shelterd life, may not have had to deal with just how cruel the world can be,...and the money thing,...geees, I could care less about how much she makes,..as long as she's willing to jump in there and work together, as one, so we can have a nice life,and the things we would like, and need to survive,...and then some years down the road, when we are sitting in our little rockin chairs, on the front porch of our nice little home,..we can look back and say,..pretty kewl life we've made,..don't ya think?
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 10:23 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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borinken
Posts: 8
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It's all in the toss of the dice, whom you meet, date and/or click with. I've dated older (+10yrs) and younger (-20yrs), and have been fortunate two have had only two disappointments; a seemingly retired hooker who couldn't get out of the game and strangely enough an over 50 who would've made the perfect poster model, for the classic air-head blonde.
I learned the hard way to temper my expectations. Whether younger or older I expect nothing more than an enjoyable experience, with good company and laughter. Yup, lots of laughter. If they can maintain or follow a conversation, laugh at themselves and not be self-absorbed, then joy will be the order of the day. I settle for nothing less.
There are a lot of sincere people on this site, a lot more players and quite a few who don’t have a clue. Before we speak or meet I indulge in extensive discussion via chat. If all I get are short single syllable responses or what appears to be an interview (prepared questions) and there is no ebb and flow in our conversation, then there is no need to continue.
Age should not be a factor, If one takes their time and gets to know something about the person they are “getting to know” and don’t have high expectations, at the very least you’ve made a friend. You don’t have to settle. It’s your life. Filled it however you want. Just don’t lie to yourself and reach beyond the un-practical.
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 10:27 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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borinken
Posts: 8
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How hard is it to delete the advances of an un-wanted suitor? Whe're on the web for heavens sake. By the way, I've learned that if you don't ask, you'll never know.
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 11:23 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Kitty, Please note that I used the word MOST ladies in my posting. I didnt say ALL ladies just MOST of them on this and other sites are looking for a boytoy and/or arm candy.
Boriken, Try using the 'BLOCK' button in the e-mail section, it should stop any unwanted advances and/or e-mails. IF that doesnt work then click on the person's profile and then click on 'report abuse' and file a complaint about that person and let the site MOD take care of it for you.
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 11:54 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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borinken
Posts: 8
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Outlaw,... do you read profiles?....You missed the point!
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 12:14 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Yes Borinken, I read the profiles and especially the sections stating if they are single, married , divorce or in a relationship. Those that are married or in a relationship is when I stop reading their profiles. The rest I read and then check out the pics (IF any). But most of the profiles I read are too far away for me and long distance relationships never work out!
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 12:14 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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outlaw_star
Posts: 1,077
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Yes Borinken, I read the profiles and especially the sections stating if they are single, married , divorce or in a relationship. Those that are married or in a relationship is when I stop reading their profiles. The rest I read and then check out the pics (IF any). But most of the profiles I read are too far away for me and long distance relationships never work out!
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| Jul 8, 2006 @ 5:05 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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Fae2591
Posts: 73
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I'm way over 40, and I guess I haven't seen any of the cradle robbers, because I don't look for them. I have noticed that a lot of men over 40 ask for someone 20 something to just a year or two below their age. But then, I've replied to men 40 - 45, and gotten reasonable responses.
I don't think all women over 40 are looking for a boy toy, either. I like younger men, but by younger, I mean 40 and over, so that's not too very young. I have really young men ask me out around here all the time, and I just say "no thank you, I have children older than you", and laugh. They take it o.k.
Anyway, the very young ones that contact me, I just say "thanks, but no thanks" and leave it at that. I think some of them are looking to "experience" a "cougar" type relationship, and some are just looking for something to talk about to their buddies. I don't in any way, shape, or form think a 27 year old would want a serious relationship with someone twice his age.
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| Jul 9, 2006 @ 3:00 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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KittyKat2006
Posts: 20
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Outlaw_star said: "Kitty, Please note that I used the word MOST ladies in my posting. I didnt say ALL ladies just MOST of them on this and other sites are looking for a boytoy and/or arm candy."
No problem, Outlaw.........I understood what you were saying. *smile*
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| Jul 9, 2006 @ 2:20 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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I am a relatively young 61. Most of the women I have met/dated are in their fifties, but a little younger or older is not out of the question. It's just a number (to a point). Apparent age is more meaningful than chronological age. I needed to draw a line somewhere, so I put 40-60 in my profile.
50+ is more realistic.
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| Jul 9, 2006 @ 7:33 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,388
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I recently had short term relationship with a man that was ten years younger then me. When we started chatting , I pointed out our age differences and he stated that age did not matter to him at all. We started dating and six weeks later he met someone younger that he liked better. Age suddenly became an issue. One of the last things he told me in a message to me was that . I was too old for him. In his case this was probably true. He may have been 39 but his mental age was far younger then his chronological years. I tend to shy away from men younger then me for fear of the issue stated above. I do not want to be a transient relationship for someone until something younger comes along. Most of my messages come from younger men.
On the positive side I am talking with a man from this site who is fourteen years younger then I am, who is wise and mature beyond his years. I think he is one of the rare men that truely views age as just a number. Time will tell of course because we have not met. I look foward to the opportunity.
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| Jul 10, 2006 @ 7:29 AM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites
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Fae2591
Posts: 73
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Well, there's this whole "cougar" thing going on, and a lot of young guys just want to "hook up" with an older woman to brag about it to their friends. That's sad, really, that we have become trophies for people like that.
I don't mind dating younger guys, but now I'll only go for ones that already have kids, and don't want anymore.
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| Aug 23, 2006 @ 3:54 PM |
My problem with the over 40 men on dating sites |
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m0001
Posts: 40
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well, this the truth and no one likes to hear it.......it's a vicious circle....yes there may be some men who want younger woman, but the rest would be happy to just have a woman period....woman go thru the midlife crisis also way worse then men.....when they get divorced.....they party for years....and sleep with every young guy they can get their hands on...women will deny this...then they think they can actually have a relationship with these young men...and the young men move on.....the truth is all men want sex....but for a young man it is much more easier to prey on older women....less commitment less complications...you know what they say( they dont tell, they dont swell, and they are grateful as hell) these same women complain about how men want younger thinnner barbie dolls yes!! the young ones and the rich ones and these are the two groups that all women want ......the regular average man does not count....why does this happen....???? for one thing all men want sex....so when a older woman gets chased by a younger man she automatically thinks she is all that.....well guess what look in the mirror.....women should not get flattered by a younger man wanting them!!!! it should be considered an insult!!! well this in turn bitters older men and they do the crazy things they do....think about it!!!!
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