| Oct 3, 2006 @ 3:26 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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foxxy44

Posts: 4
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Why is it so difficult to find a guy that is attractive, gentlemen-like, honest, and doesn't play games. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before: men my age are only looking for one thing, they're too immature, you should look for someone at least 3-4 years older than you, maybe you're too picky
whatever the excuse i hear; it just doesn't work
maybe I am too picky, but is that so wrong is it wrong for me to know what i want and not settle for less? is it that difficult for men to be straight forward? do they have to play their little games? are people intimidated by blunt people? is it wrong for me to want mental and emotional stimulation? what is wrong with people?
and to tell the truth, I go out, I go out a couple times a week with my friends to the bar/club and all that you find there isn't even worth mentioning but I will anyway guys that think if they act like gentlemen for an evening; they'll get in your pants. What idiots! and when they realize that they're not getting anywhere fast, they quit just some random thoughts going through my head feel free to add
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| Oct 3, 2006 @ 8:14 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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Xoxogirl

Posts: 5
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I agree completely! Why settle for less! And I thought I had the perfect guy, but he turned out to be commitment phobic....
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| Oct 3, 2006 @ 8:41 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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pucknut375

Posts: 12
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Actualy, they say we should marry a guy 8 years older than ourselves, as they die on average 8 years younger than women do, so ya know, than you can die together and not be a old widow for the next 8 years.... LOL
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| Oct 4, 2006 @ 10:04 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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rnjeni

Posts: 17
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at least you are going on dates. That is more than I can say. I actually went out wtih someone on here, who is 38. Had a nice enough time, and then in a following conversation he said "well, we should go out again so you can treat me this time".... hello, why are men so against paying for at least a few dates??? just because I work doesn't mean I should take over paying for dates too does it>> Men don't have half the "beauty" and "fashion" costs we do...... yet they figure that is this day and age they don't have to treat a lady like a lady , and we are just "buddies" hanging out. I would like not only a date, but some romance. I have had only 2 dates this year. Neither of which went anywhere .... hence I work too much and sit home alone. I just can't bring myself to go to a bar, drink , and hope to find someone interesting to talk with.
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 2:44 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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Actualy, they say we should marry a guy 8 years older than ourselves, as they die on average 8 years younger ... Huh? ... Is that 8 years younger and then since they die 8 years younger, all is well? ... That is just morbid! ... lol... Besides, foxxy, would have to grab a freshman in HS!..
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 3:18 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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RareQuestor

Posts: 2,652
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at least you are going on dates. That is more than I can say. I actually went out wtih someone on here, who is 38. Had a nice enough time, and then in a following conversation he said "well, we should go out again so you can treat me this time".... hello, why are men so against paying for at least a few dates??? just because I work doesn't mean I should take over paying for dates too does it>> In other words, you want the man to prove that he the financial resources to make you happy.
Why didn't you just ask the guy to put his wallet on the table so that you could spend some time alone with it?
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 7:23 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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pucknut375

Posts: 12
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If a guy realy likes you, he will climb mountains to get to you, and pick up the check, I would sugjest walking away otherwise. And stay out of the bars, nothing there unless you want slobberd on.
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 7:48 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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If a guy realy likes you, he will climb mountains to get to you ... If he really loves you... then again, there are no mountains in Illinois...
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 10:15 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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pucknut375

Posts: 12
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If your gonna be a turd, go lay in the yard! You know what I mean.
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| Oct 5, 2006 @ 10:56 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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You know what I mean ... uh huh, I think I do... "Part the sea and build me a mountain, so you can climb up it." .... and then again, the batteries are a bit low on this crystal ball.
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| Oct 6, 2006 @ 9:12 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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Cherokeeroses2001

Posts: 14
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Somehow I got confused. If you are just starting to spend some time with a gentleman and he took you out, why is it not feasable that you invite him to spend time with you? I work but do not make a lot, so an invitation might be to a museum, a home cooked meal, ect. It seems to me dating is a time that we spend getting to know another person and can come in many forms--none of which require taking out a loan. Just one lady's opinion.
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| Oct 6, 2006 @ 11:10 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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invitation might be to a museum, a home cooked meal, ect. ... Personally, I have never had a woman pick up the check for anything. I will say that her offer to do so, although I politely refuse, is a very nice gesture and appreciated.
...But yes, a picnic in a park or woods; a pizza by the lake, etc. is my most favorite place to be. If that was her idea, her concept of reciprocation, that would be perfect!
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| Oct 7, 2006 @ 5:38 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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VLS50

Posts: 3
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no mountains here but there sure are some steep hills in southern illinois!
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| Oct 8, 2006 @ 5:32 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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Xoxogirl

Posts: 5
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For me, I don't care at all about money. I will gladly pay for my dates. I think some women just want the guy to enjoy spending time with her, treat her kindly, and not try to just have sex with her. Sure, sex is great, however, just knowing that the person you're with enjoys the simple things with you seems so much more fulfilling. Its seems so simple, the hard part is finding two people who are compatible, and both wants the same things as far as relationships go.
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| Oct 13, 2006 @ 9:34 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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MustbeCute

Posts: 4
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Actualy, they say we should marry a guy 8 years older than ourselves, as they die on average 8 years younger than women do, so ya know, than you can die together and not be a old widow for the next 8 years.... LOL I agree with you, Puck, about marrying a guy who's younger. All my relatives have done it with resounding success. Men do die younger, and my mother who's a vibrant 58 yr old can attest to that.
If a woman is young and vibrant, and she is two steps ahead of men her own age, why shouldn't she be with a guy who's younger or her same age. Women stay healthier longer too.
I think being picky is the right we have. We've waited so long to find the kind of guy that will fulfill us, so why settle now???
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 12:25 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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goodol69

Posts: 2
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RNJeni...
I am always willing to pay for the evening. I am just an old fashoined kind of guy.
I have found though through my experiences that men are sometimes taken advantage of and after those bad experiences they feel like they should never pay for anything. There are some women out there that are real snakes and live off of whatever they can get and give nothing in return. When I say in return I am not even meaning like go to bed with the guy, I mean just an honest relationship.
With that being said there are a number of men out there that are total slugs and would not spend a dollar to get their own mother out of jail. What gets me is that I have seen girls hanging all over these type of guys. These are usually the same girls that run right back to a guy who beats them.
I will never understand that any of that behavior, ever.
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 3:59 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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I agree with you, Puck, about marrying a guy who's younger. ...Alright, you girls are driving me nuts with the analogy below... yea, yea, I know; it is a short walk.
Actualy, they say we should marry a guy 8 years older than ourselves, as they die on average 8 years younger than women do, so ya know, than you can die together and not be a old widow for the next 8 years.... LOL ...Now, tell me if I am wrong, but going along with your threads, shouldn't it read "marry a guy 8 years younger?" ... and not older? ....
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 8:38 AM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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KissMe4Ever

Posts: 6
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Now, tell me if I am wrong, but going along with your threads, shouldn't it read "marry a guy 8 years younger?" ... and not older? ....
NO because if they die 8 years younger than you, then you want someone older to conteract the age difference. Example, I am 50, I want to marry someone 58, they way when they die, I should die very close to them. Does that make sense now?
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:04 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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SensualGemini

Posts: 6,918
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NO because if they die 8 years younger than you, then you want someone older to conteract the age difference. Example, I am 50, I want to marry someone 58, they way when they die, I should die very close to them. Does that make sense now? ... Nope ....lol...
...Ok, you are 50 and you marry a guy that is 58. By statistics given, that men die an average of 8 years younger than women (by age)... and should you die at 80, he would have already died at his age of 72, or 16 years before you.
...Once again, by statistics, if you want a husband that should die at the same age as you, then marry one that is 8 years younger. Example, at 50, you marry a guy that is 42. Should you die at 80, and by statistics, he would die 8 years younger, at his then age of 72; then you would both die at about the same time.
..,Now, I am beginning to understand why statistics have little relevance... a mass confusion going on; you with a Bachelor and another above with a PHD. 
Edited for Peace! 
[Edited on 10/16/2006 2:16 PM]
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| Oct 17, 2006 @ 9:08 PM |
Why is it so difficult? |
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foxxy44

Posts: 4
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SensualGemini, You are absolutely right on the '8years younger' discussion. But thats not helping in the maturity factor. obviously The real problem or difficulty is that young men do not know what they want; to put it bluntly.
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