| Jun 3 @ 6:04 PM |
Can this work after so much time and hurt?
|
|
CaseyMarie793
Posts: 2
|
I am having such a hard time with this question. I was in a relationship with a trucker that started out wonderful online. By the time we met the sparks flew.
We had sex soon after.
I had been so hurt in my last relationship that I found it hard to trust. Then all of my friends constantly warned me about him, even thought they only knew trucker stories. I became needy and constantly checking on him. I couldn't help myself. I wanted to believe him, but I listened to everyone else. Of course the more distant he became. We did still have sex after that and usually I initiated the contact. I was obsessed with him. He did start seeing other women and eventually backed off. I was so hurt, but knew it was my own fault.
I never been that way in a relationship before...but the last man cheated on me right and left.
I called the trucker a few times over the next months but he ignored my calls. I gave it some time and tried again. I wanted to apologize and see if we could at least be friends. The pain was killing me. I don't know if I love him, but he is on my mind always.
We did get back together a few times, but after the second try, he is not like he was before. We have great sex, and he is very sweet to me when I see him, but he doesn't call much, emails me occassionally and tells me he will see me as soon as he can. I keep thinking that he is waiting for the same behavior as before. I am not like that anymore. The time apart was spent working on my self esteem and realizing that it was not my fault my old boyfriend cheated. He still cheats on his new girlfriends. It is just his nature.
I have lots of men asking me to date, but I don't want anyone else. I am very adamant about that to the ones online I talk to. I like friends but the trucker is all I want.
He is also on here. My heart tells me he is going to try to make this work, but my heart is also scared.
I have apologized and he says he understands what I was going through, and has no hard feelings. He still wants to see me. I told him he is the only one I want,
I don't believe I am just a booty call to him, but it hurts me that he don't call like he used to, that I know even if he is not seeing them, he still talks to other women online. He is also on other dating sites.
He won't commit to anything other than we will take it slow. I have no problem taking it slow if I knew I wasn't spinning my wheels. I am soooooooooo crazy about him. I give him lots of space and he seems genuiely happy when we do talk or email.
I need opinions, especially from the men. we were together off and on for two years before we broke up, got back together....six weeks it was wonderful, I think I was scared it was going all too well and blew that. I tested everything about him and set him up to fail.
I have had counseling for the marks the other man left on me. Now I want so much to make this work. He says he holds nothing against me and wants a fresh start? I can't believe he would even want to be around me after all of the time we spent together before ( I know he really cared once) for just sex. He is a very handsome man and would have no problem getting tht without the drama.
Is it possible he just is taking it slow to test me? Afraid to feel for me again? Grown callous to me and figures whatever happens happens?
I am fine most days, but days like today, it drives me crazy wantiong to ask, and that will just make him withdraw more.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
  |
|
| Jun 14 @ 11:40 AM |
Can this work after so much time and hurt? |
|
shadow50
Posts: 7
|
HARD TELLING NOT KNOWING! But , maybe you need to re-read your own letter for the answer!......why would you permit yourself to sleep with someone knowing that he is sharing himself with another or other's??? and why would you want a man you have to share?....if after 2 years the first time of it not working, going back into it for seconds n it not working , why in the hell would you want to dive in for a third time?....if it is all about the sex , you can have sex with anyone and be fulfilled as long as you have communication!!! if you knows he is still on dating sights, dating other females, ignores your call's and then gives you the line " he wants to take it slow" what part are you not comprehending to that he really is not interested in you anymore,???? but being kind not to hurt your feelings... all the signs are there , that he dose not want a committed relationship or that he doesn't want to be with you! sorry to hurt your feeling but sometimes the truth hurts and it is better to be hurt bye the truth then a lie!.......good for you for going to counseling! how ever it appears you still need to continue it. you have no self esteem, let alone respect for yourself and for even wanting a man like this in your life! with not having that for yourself, how in the hell can you expect anyone else to have it for you , or for you to have trust in anyone? yes a lot of truckers are nothing but users, but not all! but why would you want someone to be with you or you be with them, when they don't want to be?? surely you have many wonderful facets within yourself that another man would be honored to share with you. but honey no man wants a weak women. first you have to learn that because one man was dishonest to you, that all men are not dishonest. until you can clear your mind on that you will never have a stable relationship! i say continue your counseling and stop dating until you have yourself together! if you cant trust the man you are with , then you don't need to be with him in the first place! there is a book out called" he really isnt into you" maybe you should pick it up and read it! even thought you have pointed out yourself that he isnt in to you! I say suck it up and acknowledge he enjoyed the time he was with you , got what he wanted from you and has rolled on like he dose in his truck.. be thankful for the enjoyable time you shared with him but let him go!!!!.. you deserve to have someone who wants you and proves he wants you!. and they deserve to be with someone who will trust them and not make them out to be like someone else was to you! roll on sister roll on !!!!!!!!
best of luck to you!!!!
|
| |
|
|
|
|