| Oct 14, 2006 @ 9:54 PM |
learning to trust again
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cheywings
Posts: 4
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I recently got out of a not so good relationship. My trust was abused and left me doubting so many things. How do you regain trust in people?
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 10:24 PM |
learning to trust again |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 5,797
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I think it starts by learning to trust yourself and your choices again...and that can take time.
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 10:53 PM |
learning to trust again
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cheywings
Posts: 4
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Thank you for your reply. You are so right, I think what I doubt the most is trusting my own judgement to make the right choices. Starting the process with myself is a good idea.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 10:39 AM |
learning to trust again |
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rosiewitch2007
Posts: 79
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Hello Cheywings....I know where you are coming from...Like mailorder said it just takes some time to learn to trust yourself and don't shut yourself off from the world. Isolating yourself from life isn't the way to go while it's not a bad idea to go within yourself I wouldn't close yourself in... healing seems to take longer. After you feel up to trying out your new found trust I'd suggest just getting out there and having some fun. Life is full of moments where we get hurt but the thing we need to remember about these moments of hurt and heartbreak is that if you take a look at what happened, see the signals that we might have missed and taking note for the next time that you let someone in your life of not what to do or overlook
this makes it easier to move on with your life. Life is nothing but a big old lesson for us to learn from and enrich ourselves from...Big hugs for you lady and just know it's gonna get easier and better.
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| Oct 28, 2006 @ 10:14 PM |
learning to trust again
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im4u110
Posts: 66
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i know exactly what you mean i just got out of a very wrong affair .and now i dont trust my own judgement about picking any one else i stayed in the wrong onr for four years knowing all the time it was wrong just from the fear of being alone /i hope i dont make the same mistake again but im scared 
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| Oct 29, 2006 @ 1:43 AM |
learning to trust again |
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DenoLoneWolf
Posts: 46
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I think that we have all been in your shoes at one time or another Chey,
Just try to remember that not all guys are alike anymore than all gals are alike.
I hate the old clich'e that all (men or women) are alike.
My trust issues were a little more extreme than alot of peoples.
But I had to remind myself that not everyone is alike.
You know, maybe... just maybe, today is your lucky day.
You might find the man of your dreams.
He is looking for you... will you know him when you see him?
Good Luck and God Bless
Dene
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| Nov 5, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
learning to trust again
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Luckygem
Posts: 2,865
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I havent dated anyone in almost 4 years because of the trust issue and I am a very lonely person. I often feel that that is my destiny. I do have my children and grandson, friends, family but.......inside I am this frightened person who even after I start a conversation with someone when it comes time to meet I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Call me crazy but I am tired of the loneliness, I do have a way to find the red flags in a man.........I ask the basic questions then wait a few days then ask the same questions again and see if they answer differently. If they answer similar then I will continue to talk but............if the answer completley diferent then ADIOS.
I have started to talk to a very nice man and have only begin to realize that I have to let my wall down just a little to get to know him a little......BABY steps for me......nice and slow.............who knows I may only have to look around he corner abnd he will jump right out and say I am the one you are looking for.........I am such a romantic person........sweep me off my feet.....Everyone good luck in your search for the ONE!!!!!
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| Nov 12, 2006 @ 10:05 AM |
learning to trust again |
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rosiewitch2007
Posts: 79
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aww Lucky...I think we've all been hurt a lot in our lives and I agree that we need to learn to trust people again. It's hard when you' ve gotten used to having that liar radar up for so long. I've missed out on some potentially great relationship since I've been divorced and it's been because I want to see the worst in someone before I want to see the good in them..It's been a long process for me and trust me I'm nowhere near where I want to be with trusting people but I'm a lot better than I was say a year or two ago...It's just having the courage to get off the chair, do our hair, make up and put on something that makes us feel great when we wear it and get out there. Sometimes we just have to have a little shot and take a deep breath before we step out but in the end we end up having a good time, ya know? Even if this guy wasn't Mr. Right at least you've made the effort to get yourself out there right? I wish you great success in your search for the man that will bring great joy to your life and your heart...Bless you!
Sonya
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 2:46 PM |
learning to trust again
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stealth121
Posts: 116
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well how to trust someone again. well i see you claim to be a christain. so let god have control of that question. he will send someone to you.
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| Jan 5, 2007 @ 2:50 PM |
learning to trust again |
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CountryGirl1959
Posts: 7
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It all starts with being friends first. Then seeing where things can go from there. God has a plan for all of us. Put you TRUST in God, he will see you through.
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| Jan 6, 2007 @ 9:03 PM |
learning to trust again
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Jerry1949
Posts: 2
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my ex and i split about 10 years ago and have had a few (3) women in my life since then the first lasted about 6 months and then she sent a virus to my pc and broke my windows on my car(2) after a couple years i got back in the dating scene and after one date the lady was talking marriage and moving in(3) haven't met yet ( and probably wont) but after 4 emails and 3 phone calls (haven't seen a picture of her yet)) but allready talking about helping with my daughters baby and moving in ( she's due march 6 ) and doesn't live with me all the time ( but did say she's coming home to dad when the baby's born)
I really want a true life with someone but after allmost 25 years with the same woman i want this to last the next 25 ( cause that's probably all i have left LOL)
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| Jan 16, 2007 @ 9:17 PM |
learning to trust again |
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myperogative
Posts: 39
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When I got divorced...the thing that got me out of my funk was this.....I realized that I am NOT responsible or accountable for whatever he did or did not do. Those things are all on his shoulders alone! It was not "my fault". I am only responsible and accountable for my own inactions or actions.
May sound stupid but this way of thinking helps me out in most every aspect of my life.
A "new" person is not my ex. I've run into guys who are still carrying a monkey on their backs, from past relationships gone bad.
Love yourself.......first and foremost. You are a pretty lady and deserve the best! Head up and attitude ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Feb 3, 2007 @ 11:32 PM |
learning to trust again
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Kardis325
Posts: 3
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I would have to say that myperogative is quite the insightful woman and yes she is correct. You can only account for yourself and your own actions. The thing to remember is that actions speak for themselves. Trusting someone after you have had all trust in people removed is something that takes time. Jumping the gun into things usually leaves you with a feeling of distrust. Getting to know someone slowly generally allows you to freely let go of that distrust and begin the trusting cycle again. The thing to remember that just with any and all wounds, physical and emotional, time is the healer. And whether or now we feel we have that amount of time left, there is still no way to make the healing go faster.
I hope you have gotten some of the advice you have been looking for.
HUGS
Kardis
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| Feb 6, 2007 @ 7:20 PM |
learning to trust again |
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stealth121
Posts: 116
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well we all need to learn from our missakes not beet ourself up
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| Feb 9, 2007 @ 2:52 PM |
learning to trust again
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lonewolf969
Posts: 311
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yes you can learn from your mistake but sometime you get blinded and forget about the mistake you made once before because love can blind a person just take it slow and not fast like lot of people do
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| Sep 3, 2007 @ 3:38 AM |
learning to trust again |
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countrygirlinthecity
Posts: 5
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"How do you regain trust in people? "
When you figure that one out, let me know. I'm having an awful time with it since my divorce few years ago.
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| Sep 12, 2007 @ 9:40 PM |
learning to trust again
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iceagehottie
Posts: 411
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I think trust is defintely something that is earned by each other and it takes time....I still have a bit of trouble trusting and I think it has to do with the actions of the other person involved. As everyone keeps telling...it just takes time....  
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| Sep 12, 2007 @ 9:53 PM |
learning to trust again |
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vwdoctor
Posts: 47
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how much time does it take?
[Edited on 9/12/2007 10:01 PM]
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| Sep 12, 2007 @ 10:03 PM |
learning to trust again
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iceagehottie
Posts: 411
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I would say that it would depend on the people involved....and the situation...jmho
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| Sep 12, 2007 @ 10:12 PM |
learning to trust again |
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vwdoctor
Posts: 47
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Things never seem simple
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