| Apr 15, 2006 @ 3:51 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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purplesun33
Posts: 7
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I just would like some females to tell me why us men half to make the first contact 95% of the time??? I feel like I have to make the first contact all the time... Is it just me or is women too shy to be bold and say ....HEY I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!! Is it a thing that If they act like that, men would think they are easy to get in bed or what.... Another thing , why is it when you start talking to a woman she acts like she has a lot of guys waiting in the wings for her and that us men should be honored to talk with them.... I also think a lot of the women say they are not shallow and looks are not a big factor, but I think looks does play a key in the whole contact thing. So women give me your feedback and tell me or the rest of the guys that when you see a profile, that you like why won't you make the first contact???? 
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 4:27 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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neveratyourdoor
Posts: 1
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hey.
it's because men outnumber women, by about 97 percent.... the women get swamped with mail, and it's hard to get all of it answered. hard to keep track... 
it's not personal.
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 5:53 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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Hotshot_79
Posts: 63
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Sorry, not in my case, I had winked and sent so many emails with no replys I just stopped coming here for about a month, and I paid to be a gold member! The only thing I got out of it was enjoying the forums, now tho, it looks like hardly any of the people I liked reading are on them anymore.
Sorry, got a little carried away. I do go to other sites. It seems that I get tons of mail, start talking, get ready to meet them and they turn chicken or I just never hear from them again. Like never said, sometimes we are talking to so many we do get you mixed up and that makes you mad so........
As for the looks thing, I know where you are coming from. I am heavy set, a BBW, full figured, whatever you want to call me. I have a full body shot on my profile so nobody should get pissed cuz I am chunky, but they do. Just cause I carry around more than socially acceptable, doens't mean I am not a good person.
Just hang in there and keep trying, someone will come along, maybe not even from here, try to have fun on here anyway.
Hotshot
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| Apr 15, 2006 @ 7:05 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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Scrapfuzz
Posts: 35
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She is a wonderful person! I know because I work with her. Total heart of gold. Any guy would be lucky to meet her, let alone get to know her. 
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 12:13 AM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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SnowLynx20
Posts: 40
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If a profile catches my eye with something outstandingly witty, I'll send an e-mail letting the poster know that they caught my eye, or made me laugh, or that they just managed to put into words what my poor brain can only half-think of sometimes. If they want to respond to that, great, but so far none have. So, mostly I lurk, waiting to see if my profile happens to catch any eyes. lol, mostly I get e-mails from women wanting to ask me about my weight loss surgery! Kind of disappointing sometimes.. OH! I have mail! Then.. OH. It's from a lady. lol! Ah well, I'm always glad to respond to ANY mail. ;)
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| Apr 16, 2006 @ 9:30 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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AnnieA
Posts: 6
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I almost always make contact first...and believe it or not there are just as many men that find it impossible to reply even to say "not interested"...so it's not a male vs female thing...its just the people we chose to make contact with I guess...
my two cents...
Jerri
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| Apr 17, 2006 @ 1:26 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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edeawitch
Posts: 61
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I admit it, I wait for the guy to contact me first.  It's just that I feel men should make the first move.
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| Jun 18, 2006 @ 6:34 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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venus12277
Posts: 1
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I would have to say that being new here at MatchDoctor, there arent many guys in my area of Indiana... I found 3 I think close to me... But on other dating sites like SinglesNet I make alot of first moves and vice versa... I would have to say its pretty even as far as that goes... Thats just me though! 
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| Jul 10, 2006 @ 9:42 AM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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donny3
Posts: 573
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typical responce from a chick from Carmel
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| Jul 11, 2006 @ 7:16 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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williams990
Posts: 5
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oh, not ALL woman are like that-honestly i think they NEED the ego boost! i dont know how men do it! im little shy-only at first! looks are inportant but remember [cant spell,went blank] good looks in the beholder! look for real young woman there bold as bold gets-wow things have changed! dont give up!!!! 
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 4:19 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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billlookingforyou1970
Posts: 1
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| Apr 28, 2007 @ 12:37 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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LGTEYES
Posts: 382
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Hey there, yes if I see a profile that catches my eye(which I haven't really had time to search, until lately), I do make contact. I don't believe women are thinking that men think they are easy to get in bed if they make the first contact, and if a man does, that I have made contact with, then I guess he is for a big surprise! Nor do I act like I have a bunch of guys waiting in the wings and that a man is privileged to get a chance to talk with me. But let me ask you this... how many women do you chat with at once? I can always tell if a guy is chatting with someone else while we are chatting and when I ask, they will lie, and then I am usually done. After all, would you be on three phone lines at the same time with diff. women? NO. I look at it like this, if he is truly interested in getting to know me, he would not do that. I would not do that to someone..just a point I wanted to make.
lgteyes
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| May 9, 2007 @ 9:26 AM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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I've seen some wonderfully creative and funny profiles and I will write to congratulate them on a nice job...you know, just a friendly note. I almost never get a response. You'd think I'd requested a marriage proposal or something ;
I enjoy meeting people and do hope the "right one" will come along, but I'm not so desperate that I'd take just anybody. I love to meet people and make friends. I quit paying on this site and am stuck on Match.com as they don't refund you $$--and no one answers on that site either--because of the lack of response.
I think they should call this site...Lurkers.com 
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| May 9, 2007 @ 3:40 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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sweetie1965
Posts: 85
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I make first contact all the time...or use to. I dont know because I never get replies on what I write. I never hear from the person so what is the use of writing anyone first. I bet that I have sent over a hundred mails and have only gotten maybe one reply to say that he had found what he wanted. I mean I wonder why females dont make the first contact any more???? I know that I am not alone on this. I never even get an answer to say not interested. If I get a mail I would at least write back to say that I wasnt interested if nothing else. Thats why I say I want to meet a good guy...OH WELL and so is life...lol
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| May 15, 2007 @ 6:16 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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itechman63
Posts: 25
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I do wonder what it must be like for ladies here. For every woman that I see whose profile is endearing and photos are attractive, I know that EVERY man who sees the profile feels the same. Then let's say 50% of the guys who like the profile send her a message.... I'm surprised smoke doesn't start coming from her computer. How could she both respond to messages let alone find the time to reach out on her own?
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| May 20, 2007 @ 4:23 AM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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bugchild
Posts: 10
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Apparently men dont make the first contact, My profile has been viewed over 70 times just today and still have only 3 new responses. maybe cuz I am ugly 
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| May 20, 2007 @ 10:27 AM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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lonewolf969
Posts: 322
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bugchild lot of men are getting tiered of them writing and not getting any response from the females
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| May 21, 2007 @ 1:34 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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I think we women get so many emails that look like spammers/scammers that we stop responding to certain types of emails. Just saying. I mean, when a man slathers on the bullchit with a trowel, we go for it a few times, get to know them well enough to find out it is an idiot, a pig or a scammer/spammer trying to con us then ignore all the emails that sound similar once we figure it out.
Most of us do not bother to respond other than hit the spam report button when they say any of the things that earmarks it as one of THOSE emails. Especially emails that immediately send us their private email.
Why do you suppose we are here in a controlled environment? It is for safety. Going immediately to insisting on an outside contact makes many of us go DELETE!
Many women do make first contact a lot. It really depends on the man, tho. And how do you know that some of those emails are not going to your email filter? I have had the filter catch friends of mine and I find it weeks later. So many men think we are not responding when we never even got the emails. Especially if the woman has a filter deliberately in place.
Often, they are not ignoring the emails. They either have deliberately filtered the emails and never see them or they sometimes go to the filter accidentally. And we either never see them or see them weeks later.
And the same things happen to many of us that initiate the contact. We write and no response.
Also, if you do not have a picture and the women do, do not be surprised if they choose not to respond. They put a picture up and if you want to write to people and maybe have a response, then post a picture. Are you writing to every woman out there? Or just the ones that look attractive to you?
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| May 22, 2007 @ 8:06 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact????
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baldbychoice2kx
Posts: 86
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I've made first contact a few times. Granted, not on every profile I've looked at, but a time or two. Partly, I'm kind of shy. Partly, I never know what the response is going to be.
Then again, I'm forcing myself to get over it. I figure...what's the worst that can happen? I either don't get any response, I get told politely to leave her alone or I get told quite rudely to perform bodily functions on myself that are physically impossible. 
Or...I just might get someone that's interested.
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| May 29, 2007 @ 2:03 PM |
Why do we have to make the first contact???? |
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tbzowner
Posts: 6
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i make the first move in someone really interest me and catches my eye. i have found though that i dont always have to be the one to make the move.
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