| Jul 25, 2006 @ 11:28 AM |
Lying 2 Myself
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Jackeys
Posts: 151
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First I want to say that I'm the one who started the thread on patience, I noted in that thread that the guy dumped me because he wasn't willing to compromise.
I started this thread because we spent over an hour on the phone last night analyzing the situation and I found myself lying to myself about a lot of things.
He told me that he didn't want to pull me into his lifestyle, and that he didn't want to hurt me. I said that I was just here to have a good time and that I wasn't looking to persuade him into being the guy for me. That was all a lie. I said those things because I knew through the context of the conversation that he was dumping me whether he came right out and said it or not and I wasn't ready to go.
So there I was lying to him and lying to myself about what my true intentions were.
There I was trying to convince him that I could handle whatever it was he was going to throw my way and I knew that I couldn't. I guess I'm so desperate that I'm trying to convince a guy that isn't that into me to be more into me because I'm willing to settle. I called him this morning and left him a message saying that I had to get the truth off my chest and that I wasn't going to continue lying to myself the way I had been. I wasn't going to lie to myself just because I wanted to keep him around when he wasn't willing to give me what I knew I deserved.
Someone please tell me I did the right thing.
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 11:52 AM |
Lying 2 Myself |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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It is good you told him the truth, but more importantly that you allowed yourself to know and accept the truth and accordingly act in your own best interest
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 12:30 PM |
Lying 2 Myself
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littleross
Posts: 249
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You did the right thing! Really. And even though it probably was really very difficult, by admitting it to yourself and not being willing to "settle", you are leaving the door open for the RIGHT person to come into your life. You know.... someone who cares about you, tells you the truth, has your best interests in mind..... all those good things. So pat yourself on the back, take a deep breath, and move on with your life. It only gets better!
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 12:45 PM |
Lying 2 Myself |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,099
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The fact that you were able to acknowledge that you had been lying to yourself and refused to do it any longer, shows you have great strength and courage.. I applaud you for that  
I know it sounds like an old cliche.. but it really does get better. Getting the truth out in the open was just the beginning.....once a person stops lying to themselves, marvelous things begin happening in their lives 
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 5:56 PM |
Lying 2 Myself
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mogrl1000
Posts: 258
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We all have been there at one time.Just keep telling yourself that you deserve better.
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 6:00 PM |
Lying 2 Myself |
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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Good on you Jackeys ...
Kidding ourselves .......... stalls us out - it slows down the process of - wishing them well and moving on.
I happen to be an expert on this topic. I kidded myself (denial) for almost three years about my ex wife.
I learned - it now takes me about 24 hours (or less) to “get over it”. If some gal I could be interested in - don’t think I am good enough for her - I don’t even get into the denial and hope - trying to change her mind. I just mentally wish her well (and I mean it) and forget about her.
No moping around for this guy anymore.
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| Jul 26, 2006 @ 11:14 AM |
Lying 2 Myself
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Jackeys
Posts: 151
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I appreciate everyone's feedback. That was a hard step for me to make because I'm so adamant about what I want at the time that I forget about the big picture.
For me that's a classic spoiled brat syndrome. I want what I want when I want it and don't think about how bad it is for me until it's too late. This is the first time I've ever or I've ever dealt with someone that's help me to really see the truth in myself.
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| Jul 26, 2006 @ 12:41 PM |
Lying 2 Myself |
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relyt517
Posts: 33
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One of the most difficult things for a person is to be honest and truthful with themselves. Through my own experience, I have found that if we are not truthful with ourselves, it will eventually come back to haunt us, making us angry at ourselves and it doesn't do much for our own self esteem and respect.
No one should think so little of themselves that they feel they should "settle" for something that doesn't match what they want or feel they deserve.
My hat is off to you Jackeys.
Chances are that you'll find what you are looking for and will have the insight to recognize it.
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| Jul 26, 2006 @ 6:51 PM |
Lying 2 Myself
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holding4u
Posts: 1,098
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You were right. Putting yourself in a relationship that you know will not make you happy will not improve with time.
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| Jul 26, 2006 @ 6:56 PM |
Lying 2 Myself |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,606
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Yep. I think you'lll see the theme repeated all over the forums...better to be in no relationship than a bad one. By far.
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| Jul 28, 2006 @ 10:26 AM |
Lying 2 Myself
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Jackeys
Posts: 151
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It seems as though admitting that I had lied to myself paid off.
The guy called me to say how much he respect my decision to be honest with
myself and not live in a fairytale. That meant so much to me to have him acknowledge that.
Not only that him and I have agreed to be friends. Honesty really is the best policy.
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