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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:11 AM |
Guys, does size count?
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CurvyCutie83
Posts: 8
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I've been on this site a while now and honestly haven't gotten many worthwhile replies. I do realize that living in a small area has plenty to do with this, but it also begs the question:
Does size count?
I'm not a petite lady by any means, but close to average. I know I have plenty of personality and good looks to get me where I want to go. One thing I have noticed, however, is that about 75% of men who have completely filled out their preferences list that they would like a woman of slim/petite, average, or athletic build -- what about the rest of us? Don't the curvy girls need to be loved too?
Just a thought.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:18 AM |
Guys, does size count? |
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buni
Posts: 971
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welcome to the forums... 
Hope you are ready to hear the men tell the truth here. 
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:40 AM |
Guys, does size count?
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yoseph
Posts: 181
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well curvy, in all honesty to some... no most, yes it dose.
but that isnt to say that everyone thinks that way... i myself like a curvy woman just as much as an average or petite one. they all have different strengths and weaknesses. but i know many guys that will take a woman with a little meat to her over a stick any day.
ill spare you the details.
dont be discouraged, and good luck.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:41 AM |
Guys, does size count? |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,701
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Well ladies as the Dove Lotion ad says: We are realwomen with reallives and real bodys.
Here's to our CURVES gals, and hoping one of these guys will hug on these curves 
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:45 AM |
Guys, does size count?
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Just as with any characteristic, everyone has their preferences.. some men like slim women, some men like curvy women, some men like asian women, some like caucasian... and it is the same with the women too, everyone has their own individual preferences. Don't worry, there are many men that prefer curvy women! 
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 6:57 AM |
Guys, does size count? |
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pstoc88377
Posts: 18
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I love the large ladies. Rubenesque, curvacous.
Large breasts, round hips, hmmmmm, I could go on and on.      
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 7:10 AM |
Guys, does size count?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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CurvyCutie, please don't take offense, BUT.
At 5'8" and 270lbs you think you are close to average. I don't know what average you mean, but you shouldn't weigh more than say... 170lbs. That would mean you are 100lbs overweight. That is not anywhere close to average.
I'm pointing this out to explain the difference between your perception of yourself and how others see you. Those two don't match and there's your conflict and lack of emails.
Yes, big girls need love just as anybody else. But I don't think many men would go for that.
Someone_me dude had the perfect answer in one of the other threads (wish I knew where it was), something like this: instead of worrying what others do and pointing fingers around to properly assign blame anywhere but to us, we should work on bettering ourselves to attract the kind of people we want to meet. Keyword is becoming better, not something we don't want to be just for the sake of finding a man/woman.
So what I'd say to you is: start losing weight. You'll be MUCH healthier, you'll feel MUCH better about yourself and as soon as your 'tude changes, voila the men start knocking.
Sure it takes some work, but no one ever said that anything worth anything was for free...
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 8:28 AM |
Guys, does size count? |
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lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
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losing weight to attract a man is the wrong reason to lose. if u and ur doctor have talked and u should do it for health's sake, do it. losing 4 a man, for instance, won't adjust how u feel about urself; will u dislike ur nose next etc.? think about it!
size counts with some and it doesn't with others. at one time, i nearly weighed 400; i had no trouble with dates because i didn't perceive myself as someone lacking because i didn't weigh 125. i changed my lifestyle because of health -- not to attract a date.
like ruready says, here's 2 da curves! sometimes i get some e-mails that r barely worth deleting, but i force myself to do it (big fake sigh). its up 2 u. u must respect and accept urself before others can.
[Edited on 11/20/2005 8:27 AM]
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 9:06 AM |
Guys, does size count?
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corvette_racing
Posts: 323
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I'd say that about 80% of men (including myself) prefer petite women. However, I do have some friends that are dating bigger women and actually like them better than skinny ones.. A good friend of mine just got married to a woman that is a little bigger... He is actually about average, but he likes some "meat" on his women...He doesn't like skinny ones...
Well, taste is different...
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 10:08 AM |
Guys, does size count? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Some guys really like plus sized women. Never settle for someone who doesn't love you for who you are.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 12:07 PM |
Guys, does size count?
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CurvyCutie83
Posts: 8
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Hmm... I've gone and lost 65 lbs already, and it was for me, not for a man....
The fact of the matter is this, however: The average dress size of an American woman is 14/16.
Just another thought.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 12:21 PM |
Guys, does size count? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,343
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Some guys really like plus sized women. Never settle for someone who doesn't love you for who you are.
I'm with Spongebob...you're not gonna change the guys who are looking for something other than what you are. Enjoy your life, your family, your friends...don't spend too much energy on worrying about what you don't have or you may find yourself missing out on what you do have! If profiles say slender/slim/average, just sigh and pity them for what they're missing...and eventually you WILL find someone who'll love you regardless of your size. THAT would be worth the wait!
Hugs,
Millie
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 12:35 PM |
Guys, does size count?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Excellent! For you it should be, and that's what I was talking about.
We had the whole average vs. average discussion. Average should (ideally) be somewhere within the normal range of the BMI. That the whole nation has gone up kinda moves the average towards the *other* average. :)
For example, I'm also 5'8" and I wear pants size 6. To me that should be... ummm... well... average.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:02 PM |
Guys, does size count? |
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Wibber
Posts: 162
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Size 6 to me seems slim/slender.
You know, there should be guidelines. Anything size six and under should be slim/slender, sizes 8-10 is average, 12-14 is a few extra pounds and over 14 would be plus-sized, big and beautiful, whatever. I'm probably way off though.
For me, I hate skinny guys. I want someone who is classified as husky but not huge and sloppy. I think guys who are a little heavy are sexy.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:05 PM |
Guys, does size count?
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DipityDoo
Posts: 376
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CurvyCutie,
65 lbs loss is great! :)
My experience is yes, size counts and I think that size counts more for men than it does for women. There are men who like larger women, as you've just read, but that is a smaller pool. And there are some men that prefer smaller women but, once getting to know you, can get past physical preferences. The problem is that online, all you have is a picture to go on, and not the in-person aura a person gives off, ya know? Perhaps I've turned away some based on my perception of their appearance, but had I got to know them over a length of time....say at work or something....I might have developed an attraction for them.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:12 PM |
Guys, does size count? |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,701
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She's right, the average size IS a 14-16 thank you very much  
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:18 PM |
Guys, does size count?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Well, I dunno. My skirts are always size small, tops medium. Can't fit my shoulders into small. I think I'm medium size. Have a girlfriend who is an inch or two shorter and she wears 0. Now that is slim.
Also... I live in Manhattan. People in general here are much slimmer than in more rural parts. For starters, we walk everywhere. We also have gyms and health food stores on every corner...
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:22 PM |
Guys, does size count? |
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buni
Posts: 971
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I've been too skinny and I've been huge...
I refuse to change for anyone. I will be how I feel comfortable and healthy. If men don't like me(which they do no matter what size I am) then they can go on looking until they find a woman that they want.
I think a lot of men don't mind dating bigger women as long as she is not huffing and puffing trying to keep up with him when he wants to go hiking or something. I have found that when I am bigger it is harder for me to breathe and I tend to have chest pains.....so, I would rather lose back down to a 'safe' weight for me if you know what I mean.
If you lose weight do it for health reasons, but never because you think men won't like you,and if you do find a man and he tries to make you lose it you need to move on because he obviously doesn't accept you for you.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:33 PM |
Guys, does size count?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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What does it mean "accept you for you"...?
There are guys that are great people and great friends but I just can't get over the fat part as I'm simply not attracted to overweight people. Therefore dating is out of the question. Surely I accepted them for who they are AS FRIENDS, but I wouldn't sleep with them. Does that mean that I'm "shallow"...? Just because I happen to like certain types...? I don't think I can change who I like...
If there's a discrepancy between who you attract and who you are attracted to... you are on the losing end. That's where you work on yourself because you sure as hell can't work on other people.
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| Nov 20, 2005 @ 1:36 PM |
Guys, does size count? |
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DipityDoo
Posts: 376
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Well, I dunno. My skirts are always size small, tops medium. Can't fit my shoulders into small. I think I'm medium size. Have a girlfriend who is an inch or two shorter and she wears 0. Now that is slim.
Also... I live in Manhattan. People in general here are much slimmer than in more rural parts. For starters, we walk everywhere. We also have gyms and health food stores on every corner...
...and you also have to lug home groceries and often up flights of stairs in walk-ups! :) kinda discourages the mass-pop and twinkie buying!
but anyway, as for the sizes....on clothing charts, 14/16 is always considered a large...sometimes a 12 is too. So, by sales, the "average" woman is large (but we all know there is no such thing as "average"). But, I'm sure that for healthy weight ranges you are indeed average.
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