| Oct 2, 2006 @ 12:40 AM |
Asking too Much?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 11,175
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I've started kind of dating someone from this site, as anyone who has read the Music Thread in General Talk may have guessed...and things aren't going right.
I am a very diverse person with tons of interests and I love to talk.
He is kind of...one dimensional, and all he ever wants to talk about is, I am quoting: "us and music".
Whenever I try to talk about something else with him, he responds with "OK" or "LOL" or "cool". He contributes nothing to the conversation.
I asked him tonight to please just contribute something and this is exactly what he said:
"This whole caring about your opinions thing, you're asking too much of me. You're trying to change me."
this whole 'caring about your opinions' thing???
Am I asking too much?!?!?!?!
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 12:45 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,980
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um LGQ sorry but maybe he just isnt the type of person you need to complete YOU darlin.. I wish nothing but happiness for you and a strain so early on in any relationship does not bode well... I see you with someone who looks like Matt mcconaghy (sp)(okay so i think hes hot) the intelligence well equal to your own who showers you with love and devotion not someone who NOT willing to contribute .. I dont see you as wanting to change him but him not willing to contribute and nurture the relationship
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 12:51 AM |
Asking too Much?
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sissycat411
Posts: 1,248
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 what Becky said.........a good match is two people BOTH contributing to the intellectual stimulation of the conversations.........on many topics of interest to both....
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:15 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Sorry, but I don't think it was a good idea to post this for all to read. This is something you should have only discussed with your friend in private. I can't imagine you are dating seriously enough yet for this to be such a big concern.
I think there is some truth in what your friend said. If if he is "one-dimensional", it didn't just happen yesterday. That is a part of his make-up, and if you don't like it now, you probably won't change your mind later. It's doubtful he will change, nor should he have to.
Frankly, if my new friend posted something like you have about me, I would no longer care to date the person. I would feel that all of my dirty laundry would be aired in public by them, and I would have a lack of trust. You know I am most always supportive of you, but I'm giving you a "thumbs down" on this one, g/f. 
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:16 AM |
Asking too Much?
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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I have a "one-dimensional"..."friend". But I'd need 12 of them to keep me interested for more than a week...or just one with 12 different dimensions, like you probably need, LGQ (yes, tall order, but they are out there...meantime, it's ok to simply enjoy one dimension at a time if there's not a whole lot else to look forward to)
(and no, it's not "changing" a person, but many do, of their own accord, if they're stimulated or inquisitive...tho some don't -- at least not until ways part and they realize what they missed out on  )
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 2:22 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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Eric915
Posts: 73
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LipGlossQueen9;
Sounds like he couldn't care less about you ... by not caring about your opinions.
That's what I got from it anyway.
==============================
Also, he said; "You're trying to change me" ... I find this statement equally baffling.
He sounds very odd indeed ... but then again, this is the Internet ... so that's not surprising news either.
Have you by any chance met him?
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 2:34 AM |
Asking too Much?
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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'Scuse me LGQ.........are we to assume this may be a "deep person" --- with a stick up his you-know-what? You're much to bright and "ecclectic" to be anything but a transient novelty to that type.
Enjoy your new "in-person" college friends and PLEASE don't let any arrogant twit try to control you!! 
(Of course now I've gotta stand in the corner with LGQ   )
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:01 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 7,482
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or just one with 12 different dimensions ...it sounds as if you need a Gemini... Don't like this dimension? ... simply wait 30 seconds  
...But yes, this thread does sound as if it should be between the two people involved. Or, did I miss the title and it said girlfriend talk only? 
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:05 AM |
Asking too Much?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 11,175
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Sunny, yes, he is a "deep person", complete with stick.
I'm sorry if some of you find this to be innappropriate.......I truly do not see it that way but you are entitled to your opinions.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:20 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 7,482
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Well yes, it does seem like airing your laundry for the world to see.
...I was a bit slow on the uptake, but now understand; he can come here and read the responses with possibly, more understanding. But, to be fair, we will need his side of it was well...
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:24 AM |
Asking too Much?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 11,175
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he doesn't post or even read anywhere but the music thread, i didn't post this to get him to read it because i know he won't. he almost never logs on here, anyway.
i just honestly wanted to know if i was asking for too much.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:30 AM |
Asking too Much? |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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You should never settle for less than you deserve (and that means bootin' that ol' low self-esteem thingy out the door, missy  )
And yes, it's "laundry"...but more like "dry cleaning", considering the principles involved.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 3:33 AM |
Asking too Much?
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,419
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LGQ from what I know of you from your posts .. you are clearly a very wise
( beyond your years), intelligent and well versed young lady. I can appreciate your frustration in trying to converse with someone who may lack the depth you have. I think I may know who you are speaking of and music appears to be the center of his universe. To answer your question. I think you made a reasonable request from him, his response seemed rather defensive. SunBabe gave good advice. Long distant relationships are tough anyway, and shifting your focus to your College friends would be better for you in the long run. I think you will have a bright and happy future ahead of you.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:28 PM |
Asking too Much? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Now Lip,
You are EXTREMELY intelligent, so much so, I find it difficult to believe you didn't think your friend would read this. Is all he has to do is go to your profile and view your last ten posts, or he can view your threads. If he is that interested in you, he will do so, and even if he doesn't, someone will tell him you have created a thread about him. How could a smart girl like you not know these things?
I'm not saying he is, or is not, a good person for you. I don't know the guy, but aren't you smart enough to know the answer to this without asking us? It seems like an attention ploy, and I know you love attention. That's one of the things I usually think is fun about you, but not when it is at someone else's expense. You need to deal with him only. IMVHO.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 7:02 PM |
Asking too Much?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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I have to very strongly object to your posting this here.
If he frequents MD, then he's reading. Although unnamed, you left enough clues as to his identity. Not cool.
Imagine sitting in a room full of people, and they are talking about you and you can hear every word. Can NOT be pleasant. The guy may have shortcomings, but he certainly doesn't deserve this.
Never, ever, EVER kiss and tell. Under no circumstances.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 8:01 PM |
Asking too Much? |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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Give the young lady a break...she's asking for help. This may work in her favor, if he does read it, maybe it'll be a wakeup call for him. If he reads it and takes exception to it...so be it, apparently he could care less anyway.
LGQ, honestly, if you want someone to care about your feelings, discuss things that interest you besides debating about the white album for example, you're gonna have to find a communicator. The years displayed on my profile represent one thing, well two....I'm old and I've been through a lot. I've been involved with women who communicate and those that have not. The ones that do have a communicative skill are always much more interesting. Theirs more to life than music, which apparently you're well aware of. You'll have to make a decision, talking to yourself a lot, or everything worth knowing about ABBA. This being unable to communicate is gonna manifest itself in other areas......tuuuuuuhrust me.
You're gonna get real bored real quick....I know stuff.
yer pal
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 8:21 PM |
Asking too Much?
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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9/29/06 for your pics?
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 8:33 PM |
Asking too Much? |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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9/29/06 for your pics?
wth? You no believe me? I'm shocked....stunned, I'm nothing if not hones....ok, fine.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 8:37 PM |
Asking too Much?
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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No. I was IMPRESSED!  
You rich now? 
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 8:39 PM |
Asking too Much? |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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Probably one of the most unique profile pics I've ever seen.
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