| Oct 14, 2006 @ 7:10 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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When you've finally met someone in real life and go out for the first time, what does he or she do or not do to clue you in on the fact that they're just really not that interested in you as a potential romantic partner?
Some of the things I notice are: Are his eyes on me or are they wandering around the room? Does he talk about other women while with me? Is he more complimentary with the waitress/clerk than he is to me?
Those are all pretty clear indicators he's not that impressed with me.
What kinds of things do you notice when out with someone the first time?
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 7:15 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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No eye contact, disinterest, outright hostility...if you don't pick up on those kinds of clues you're sensory deprived...lol.
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 7:32 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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Outright hostility?  I've never had that displeasure.
No wonder you want some of your dates to pay their own way. I wouldn't blame you.
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 7:41 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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LavenderMoonlight
Posts: 553
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I met a guy about a month ago, perhaps 2 months...it was obvious on both our parts that there was no chemistry and we were not interested. He didn't look at me when he spoke, but I did him. That's just impolite and even when I'm not interested, I do out of respect for human beings.
We sat far apart from each other and never bothered trying to get to know each other better. It lasted less than an hour...and pure torture...I was so glad that it was over. A simple goodbye and I was out of there...
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| Oct 14, 2006 @ 8:03 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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observed50
Posts: 407
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I've never met someone from off the internet in which we weren't interested...
We met, got nekkid. Laughed a lot. Hiked, walked, had a gas.
But we've always known in each encounter that distance and life anchors probably meant we weren't going for the long ride...
so we took a great one instead.
But we had talked so much beforehand that we really knew each other. I can only imagine what its like to go on one where there is nothing. Sort of like a blind date I suppose.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 4:23 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,419
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Went to a sports bar for a first date he could not take his eyes off the game the whole time. I got up and went to rest room and he did not know I had left. He was NOT interested for sure.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 8:40 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Lack of eye contact, fidgeting, no conversational initiative, clock/watch watching and body language...as in turned away from you.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 9:13 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,900
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You cant always believe the clues given.
We each had driven about 60 miles to meet at a diner midway between us.She was very quiet and hardly ever spoke a word.I assumed her lack of interest,she didnt want me to but I paid for the meal.Old fashioned I suppose but a man that doesnt treat isnt worth a plug nickle in my opinion.We departed in a friendly manner and she called me back that evening wondering when we could meet again.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 9:17 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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I wouldn't know. 
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 9:57 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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Usually it's pretty easy when there's no conversation initiated, no flirting, no touching, etc., but I have been wrong. I had one date where we met for dinner, and got no positive clues whatsoever. I sugggested we go somewhere for a drink afterwards, expecting her to say no and take her leave, but she agreed. She nursed that drink for 2 hours, but still no clues whatsoever. We finally left, and when I walked her out to her car, I was still expecting a polite little hug or something. She damn near jumped my bones. Never figured that one out.
On the other side of the specturm, met one date for dinner, and she spent the entire time telling me why I didn't like her. She convinced me.
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 10:10 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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I wouldn't know.
Not to worry Stranded...someday you'll get a date. 
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 10:13 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 10:36 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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Danger
Posts: 1,246
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when you start to talk, he looks at his watch-constantly...or looks around as for a way to 'escape'.
answers his cell phone while with you and doesn't end the conversation oh the cell till you wave good bye...
if you're at a sports bar-pays more attention to the games then you...
dang...do you need more???
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 11:08 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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duwant1
Posts: 575
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She was very quiet and hardly ever spoke a word. I assumed her lack of interest, she didnt want me to, but I paid for the meal...she called me back that evening, wondering when we could meet again.
I would think, she was probably getting hungry again, right about that time? 
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| Oct 15, 2006 @ 6:50 PM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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Jankia
Posts: 11,900
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I would think, she was probably getting hungry again, right about that time?
Youve got good thinkin there Duwant,I do remember her barely touching her food.
Course I'm not the kind to leave a plate of food on the table,even someone else that I'm with. 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 4:40 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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quality rebuttal there Janika! i do enjoy the proverbial "thrust and parry" of the senior members of the forums! by the way how is wawasweetie holding up?
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 5:09 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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MrOriental2
Posts: 45
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my date fell asleep once. and i only had 2 dates in my life
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 5:11 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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ynot77
Posts: 453
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Some of the things I notice are: Are his eyes on me or are they wandering around the room? Does he talk about other women while with me? Is he more complimentary with the waitress/clerk than he is to me?
no way....someone with YOU not paying attention?? 
sorry but i'd require documented proof AND something proving their sanity 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 8:39 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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Touché 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 9:57 AM |
first date clues (s)he's not interested |
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,102
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I would assume that some chatting online and phone would have provide some ground work on what type of person you are dating for the first time. Meeting face to face for the first time should provide some clues. Like body language, eye contact, whether the conversation is evasive or not, conversation flow and how he treats you as a person. Would be a few clues. 
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