| Oct 16, 2006 @ 5:39 AM |
how do you keep from this
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,704
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ok people how do you keep from getting discouraged.. i sent a signal on another site.. and i get to where when it says i have mail in that box i dont want to look because i hate dissapointment and rejection ( who doesnt) but after 7 years divorced it gets old.. and the response was " i have met someone and want to see where it goes ( it was one of those canned readymade replies) yes i get discouraged but refuse to give up... Sweet N Louisiana
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 6:07 AM |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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By keeping a Positive attitude..and look at those kind of things as a lucky escape..perhaps it wasn`t meant to be. Don`t let it get you down..your a wonderful lady and you deserve the very best. Who knows maybe those guys aren`t the very best. 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 6:15 AM |
how do you keep from this
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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keep on trucking sweet! i've been at this game for 5 years! 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 6:22 AM |
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Danger
Posts: 1,246
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it does seem to get better sweet-i've been in this for 11 years...and still no one and getting the same messages...in fact, i don't know if it gets 'better' but more like i am expecting NOT to get a positive reaction from emails-IF i even GET a reply! everyone always says, "give it time, give it time..you'll find the right one"...well i think MY 'right one' has died already! lol
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 8:36 AM |
how do you keep from this
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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If you’re depending on on-line dating solely, then my guess is you’re going to be disappointed for a very long time.
I {email address removed} and see incredible women...beautiful, perfect height, perfect bodies, good jobs, no kids, smart and witty...and I see them there year after year. Why? I think there are two big problems. First, here in NY there’s no lack of guys, that’s for sure, but the quality of on-line men is sorely lacking. Second, I think dating sites have created a “shoppers” mentality in the people that are on them.
People get this idea that they’re gonna be able to select the perfect person from a huge collection, like picking the best apple from the tree. But the truth is that you’re not going to get anything better that you would have gotten through typical off-line methods. And the simple reason is that eventually you must meet the person in an off-line world, and that’s when everyone must come out from behind the curtain.
If you’re fat and ugly, you are NOT going to get someone that’s good-looking and in-shape. Stating as such it in one’s profile does nothing but provide comic fodder for all who read it.
And here’s a clue for the women...guys that are good-looking, in shape, smart, funny, witty, have good jobs, and are mentally sound do NOT need dating sites to get dates. They already get more women than they know what to do with. It’s all the OTHER guys that are here.
But I guess miracles do happen and Cupid does work in mysterious ways, so don’t give up the search, but be realistic.
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 8:44 AM |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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And here’s a clue for the women...guys that are good-looking, in shape, smart, funny, witty, have good jobs, and are mentally sound do NOT need dating sites to get dates. They already get more women than they know what to do with. It’s all the OTHER guys that are here.
You don't really believe that, do you? If you do, I'm here to tell you that you're absolutely wrong.
I have met wonderful men from online sites. Most of them are here (and elsewhere) for the same reason I am. After you reach a certain age (*ahem*), your dating options become somewhat limited. Being online is just another form of introduction to people, both men and women, I probably wouldn't run into on my usual, daily schedule.
Absolutely normal, good looking, responsible, well-employed, sexy, funny, wonderful men and women are all out there. Absolutely.
MJ
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 8:52 AM |
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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You don't really believe that, do you? This is what I've been told, so consider yourself lucky! 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 9:13 AM |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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Maybe the sources of those opinions should be considered. There are a lot of women -- men, too (I guess I shouldn't be sexist) -- who only see the negative. If the guys they're interested in aren't interested in return, something's wrong with the guy, or he's a loser. I can see why they never meet anyone worthwhile. They don't believe there's anyone worthwhile out there.
MJ
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 9:41 AM |
how do you keep from this
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,102
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I tend to see online dating as being like cake with frosting. My plain cake would be meeting, chatting, socializing, and flirting with ladies I wouldn’t normally meet in my day to day life activities. Now to add frosting would be if one of the lady’s would take a closer or intimate interest in me. So to me cake taste just as good without the frosting. Frosting would be good too, but not needed to enjoy life. 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 1:19 PM |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,704
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If you’re fat and ugly, you are NOT going to get someone that’s good-looking and in-shape.
umm stranded i dont think i am fat and or ugly.. and to the right guy i will be beautiful and espescially if he looks in my heart and can see the Me that i am.. and yes TINK i know hes out there just a matter of finding or being found.. Sweet N Louisiana
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 1:32 PM |
how do you keep from this
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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And here’s a clue for the women...guys that are good-looking, in shape, smart, funny, witty, have good jobs, and are mentally sound do NOT need dating sites to get dates. They already get more women than they know what to do with. It’s all the OTHER guys that are here.
Congrats, you win the Dan Quayle "Quite possibly the most imbecilic statement ever made online" of the week.
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 1:41 PM |
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IndigoRose
Posts: 1,194
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And here’s a clue for the women...guys that are good-looking, in shape, smart, funny, witty, have good jobs, and are mentally sound do NOT need dating sites to get dates. They already get more women than they know what to do with. It’s all the OTHER guys that are here. Wondering what a great looking guy like you is doing here Rico UnSuave ? 
But I guess miracles do happen and Cupid does work in mysterious ways, so don’t give up the search, but be realistic. Uhhh and grrr! Red darlin' sometimes you should thank your lucky stars that you don't attract some types...hang in there woman!
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 1:43 PM |
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donny3
Posts: 573
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you just can't give up........no matter what
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:09 PM |
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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i dont think i am fat and or ugly.. Sorry red...wasn't speaking to you directly...just in general.
Can't edit my post, otherwise I would change it to make more generic.
[Edited on 10/16/2006 2:18 PM]
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:12 PM |
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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Maybe the sources of those opinions should be considered.
Maybe. But on POF, "I can't find a decent guy" threads seem to be a dime a dozen, with the whole choir chiming in to comiserate.
So I'm glad you're meeting nice guys, but your experience doesn't appear to be the norm.
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:30 PM |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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That a girl.....Don't give up. Keeping a PMA (positive mental attitude) online as well as of course offline is extremely important. Have a safe and fun filled time in "date" land. If the right one happens to come along you'll probably know it and if not or until that occurs you're having fun and don't lose any sleep over it.
Lose sleep playing with the ones that did come along but didn't make the 100% mark.
Statically one out of four will say "yes." 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:40 PM |
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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Sweet---
Perhaps you are trying too hard.
Often they find you when you are not looking.
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:49 PM |
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IceDog
Posts: 153
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Just keep hanging in there, if it's meant to happen it will. I myself have dated a few woman from from different sites and all of those did take some time to find, but just keep trying and it will happen. Good Luck
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 2:58 PM |
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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Congrats, you win the Dan Quayle "Quite possibly the most imbecilic statement ever made online" of the week.
Who am I to argue on imbecilic nature with a man who named himself “PullMyFinger”?
You win! 
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| Oct 16, 2006 @ 3:19 PM |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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Maybe. But on POF, "I can't find a decent guy" threads seem to be a dime a dozen, with the whole choir chiming in to comiserate.
Oh, I do believe that. It's a pretty common thread running through most dating sites that have forums or chat rooms. I sometimes feel sorry for men - it seems like you're all jerks, assholes, players or morons.
I'm not Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms or the eternal optimist, but I do believe you get what you expect to get. And you find what you're expecting to find.
MJ
(edited for bad punctuation)
[Edited on 10/16/2006 3:32 PM]
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