| Nov 11, 2006 @ 5:36 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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I have been (informally) studying patterns on dating sites for a few years -- just because I find it interesting. I even did a few surveys to confirm some of the patterns I discerned by careful observation. And I also have made up some fake profiles that fit certain specific criteria to test response (not on this site of course!!) 
One very clear pattern is that women get FAR more responses to their profiles (and far more views) than men do. This applies regardless of a woman's apparent attractiveness (I realize that "attractiveness" is a debatable characteristic.). Typically, even a woman who has no picture posted receives more views and more responses then the average man on a site with a picture.
It is also clear that men initiate contact far more frequently with women than the other way around (how traditional things still are!).
A woman who has a pic that has broad appeal (no pun intended) to a lot of men can be overwhelmed with responses. In many cases it is virtually impossible for her to reply to every one. So guys, don't take it personally when you don't hear from that hot babe who never wrote you back.
Interestingly, a man who has a pic that has broad appeal to a lot of women does NOT get very significantly more responses than the "average" man. Men just get far less attention than women do.
So, in general, women have much more opportunity to choose among men on dating sites then men have to choose among women. Men have to work a lot harder then women do to get things going. In terms of volume, a dating site is overwhelmingly a women's market.
But that is not to say that women have it so great either. My findings also show that although women almost universally get a lot more responses than men, many feel that the men who respond do not meet their expectations and they are disappointed with their choices.
Let's face it....man or woman, it's not easy to find a soul mate.
PS: For the record, I have NEVER had any fake profiles on this site. In my opinion, this is actually one of the best dating site on the Net. And I have analyzed most of them.
[Edited on 11/11/2006 5:42 PM]
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 5:49 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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julia143
Posts: 1,696
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Rain,
Although woman may get a few more responses than men.....I have written everyone back, offered a chance to get to know me.
Let me tell you something....not one of them....has managed to keep on writing, to show continued interest, to put in some effort to make a connection.
How many pictures do you need of me to get to know me? Because this is all I get asked.
I don't think women have the upper hand here. It is rather frustrating to find a genuine fellow with a bit of follow through.
When we don't answer emails, it's because we receive crap like : "wanna chat" or "you're hot" ....and on and on....
But this horse has been beaten enough.....
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 5:59 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Hi Julia...
Yes, there is a lot more to what I have learned, and what you say is something I heard quite often and true. What you are describing is a common complaint among women.
I will say this though. I have found that it is quite difficult to keep a relationship going strictly via online communication. While it is true that some people can talk online literally for years and develop some kind of relationship (not sure how real it is vs. being a fantasy), I think for most people, the relationship needs to evolve fairly rapidly beyond the online stage for it to remain viable.
So unless both parties are willing to take that next step fairly quickly, I think it is almost inevitable that the "fizzle factor" will take over.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:03 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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julia143
Posts: 1,696
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Rain,
Sorry I did not elaborate.....
I understand that you can not build anything real over the net. I understand that a meeting must take place within a certain time.
I was actually talking of a time span of a week, most men can't even manage that kind of commitment....what would make me think they would be able to commit to something long term in real life?
How hard can it be to write someone for a week, especially if you are interested in them/
I know this is not the case for everyone....it's just frustrating to me....
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:13 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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I understand Julia ... that is definitely frustrating.
I think that part of the problem may be that the Internet itself is such an overwhelming and anonymous place that many people feel that they don't have to treat other people with the same kind of respect and thoughtfulness that they might use in that same situation if it were in person.
I have always been amazed at people's lack of consideration for the feelings of those they talk to online.
But I am pretty sure it mostly has to do with the "throw away" nature of this type of communication and the fact that it is so relatively impersonal compared to real life face-to-face communication that people often don't even see the person they are talking to to be a real person.
Then, of course, there are just a lot of jerks too ... same as there are offline.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:15 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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It's pretty obvious, at least to me, why women get more response on dating sites. There are far more men on these sites than women. The shear numbers dictate than women will get more response.
In my case, I get a lot of response, but only a couple have been genuine. Most are just scams from China or Russia, and yes, I have the mail filters on, they have just learned how to beat them by claiming to be in the US.
I initially had high hopes for this site, but as it turns out there are just very few people from my area on here, and while I did meet one very nice lady, she isn't looking for dating here.
I do wonder how many of the profiles I see on here are fake, and why anyone would post a fake profile unless they are trying to pull some scam.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:18 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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while I did meet one very nice lady, she isn't looking for dating here.
It's a genetic trait  
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:23 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Hi TS
Yes, there is a significant amount of scam profiles and e-mails. But even so, this site does a much better job of controlling them than most of the other sites. They take the scam and spam here very seriously and eliminate a good portion of it. After a while it's very easy to spot the fakes. A very high percentage of the profiles here are real. That is one of the things that I think makes this site better than much of its competition.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:25 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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Goodman50325
Posts: 36
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Depending on the person. Yes, I agree women get more responses than men do. If a guy makes $500,000 per year (like I don't) , looks are not going to matter one whit, he's going to get responses. Mainly from the gold-digging crowd.
We all have different standards and expectations.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:27 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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If a guy REALLY makes $500,000/year he's NOT on here -- rest assured
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:31 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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Speaking of scams, here is an email that popped in just now. I removed this "woman's" contact info that she included and replaced it with XXXXX ....
Hello!!!
My name is Yana.
I’m 26 years old. I don’t have kids.
I am never married.
If you answer me I will send to you more information
about me and my beautiful photos by next message.
If you are not against of our communication please write me on
my e-mail: {email address removed}
I very liked your profile. You very sex. You have directly interested me!!!
Please, send me as well your e-mail that I could write to you at once.
I wait with impatience.
Thank you.
With kind regards Yana !!!
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:32 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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Hi Goodman
I didn't really do much to study the effects of (stated) income on response for men. You could be right.
But my sense is that if a man's profile says he has a $500k income, it wouldn't make much difference because most women would not believe it.
I think that everyone knows that profile embellishment is as common as flees on dogs and that many people exaggerate.
[Edited on 11/11/2006 6:35 PM]
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:34 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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TS Wrote:
Speaking of scams, here is an email that popped in just now. I removed this "woman's" contact info that she included and replaced it with XXXXX ....
Hello!!!
My name is Yana.
I’m 26 years old. I don’t have kids.
I am never married.
If you answer me I will send to you more information
about me and my beautiful photos by next message.
If you are not against of our communication please write me on
my e-mail: {email address removed}
I very liked your profile. You very sex. You have directly interested me!!!
Please, send me as well your e-mail that I could write to you at once.
I wait with impatience.
Thank you.
With kind regards Yana !!!
LOL TS ... I received the same scam mail. They send it to as many people as they can. I already reported it to the site. Expcet that account to be cancelled in a few days or less.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:48 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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Report them ASAP...even though it may be Monday before they're zapped! 
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 6:50 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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You very sex.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 7:23 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Statistics all say women get more attention on dating sites—it’s not a huge secret.
Well, women say, you can’t go by that because most of the men that do respond are losers, sex maniacs, liars, or never follow through, like Julia said. The real percentage of “quality” choices is about on par with men.
That may be true, but I still think women have an advantage.
Women, as a gender, are still in the driver’s seat because dating culture stacks the deck in their favor. Women are supposed to be pursued, not men. It’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to sit back and be the object of attention, not only on dating sites, but in any social setting that involves men and women.
I don't know many women that approach men in bars, or restaurants, or dances, or any social function I can think of. But if a man exhibits the same behavior, he is ridiculed as lazy; almost a disgrace because he won't accept and live up to his gender role.
Like others have said, if you're rich and successful you can almost eliminate strong reliance on physical attraction because either gender will be a magnet for attention. If you have all three then life is a bowl of cherries, isn't it, and I'd hate your guts...lol.
But I digress. Women are attracted to success and power in men. Most men could care less how much a woman makes or what kind of car she drives, as long as she's moderately intelligent and at least average looking.
I speak from experience on this.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 7:24 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Yana sent me the same e-mail.
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 7:29 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,892
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Forget it guys...I sent Yana $600 and airfare to the frozen tundra.
Shes all mine now. 
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 7:35 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? ==
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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Women are attracted to success and power in men
I tell ya (and it may only be from my age perspective), that "success and power" does NOT always translate to income. Some guy who projects confidence and a great, strong personality to ME is "successful and powerful".
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| Nov 11, 2006 @ 7:46 PM |
== Women vs. Men - Who Wins On The Dating Site? == |
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Red69Sun
Posts: 1,102
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I'm with SunBabe on that last comment...........
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