| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:17 AM |
Love At First Sight?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Do you believe in love at first sight? I do, and was just wondering what your experiences or thoughts on this subject might be.
When my brother in law was in college and saw my older sister for the first time in a class they both had, he said to one of his friends "You see that girl over there, that's the woman I'm going to marry". His friend was like, yeah riiiiight, like you know that...you haven't even spoken to her, you don't even know her name yet let alone know anything about her". My brother in law said "Yeah, but I will and it will be".
Anyway, they dated all through college, married, started a family and are happy.
I've had experiences where I felt a sense of love and an "unexplainable" drawing towards another, and did feel love at first sight. The drawing forth was unbelievable; it was immediate, direct, knowing...the chemistry automatic (I put "unexplainable" in quotes as I do admit to believing in reincarnation).
One example of a love at first sight situation was when I ended up having a long term relationship with this one man that I never expected to simply because, hell, I didn't know this guy from a hole in the wall when I saw him for the first time; I knew I loved him and would have a relationship with him. And, we did. We met in 1993, and at this time we friends, but the relationship we had was intense and we both learned a lot about ourselves in the process.
So again, what are your thoughts and experiences on this subject? I'd love to know....thanks. 
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:34 AM |
Love At First Sight? |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Love at first site? So what you are saying is that you immediately had this desire to wash his car for him, take care of him when he was sick leaning over the toilet puking his guts out  , pick up his stinky socks off the bathroom floor because he was in a hurry to get to work and forgot to do it...
If so, then yes, love at first site is possible. Not trying to minimize the romantic, emotional side of love, it's just that love is much more than a feeling. It's a choice, a commitment. My tendency is to separate love from attraction, chemistry, or whatever catch word is in vogue at the present.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:49 AM |
Love At First Sight?
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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A few years back, I talked to a woman in a chatroom. She was local and we liked each other's profile, so we decided to meet. We met that very night.
The attraction was immediate and very intense for both of us. The chemistry, not to mention the sex, was incredible.
However, we were mismatched in every other conceivable way. When not in bed we disagreed over everything, and fought like cats and dogs.
I am very laid back, easy going, and willing to accept those who disagree with me, and in fact I am used to people disagreeing with me. To each his/her own. She, on the other hand, had a latent dictator streak a mile wide. It wouldn't/couldn't work.
Nonetheless, I still want the intense chemistry I felt with her, but hopefully there will be more than just chemistry to build upon next time (if there is a next time).
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:56 AM |
Love At First Sight? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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Yes, I've experienced love at first sight - although originally, I'm sure it was more like lust at first sight. The result was a firey romance that lasted 7 years. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I still feel love for this person even though I haven't seen her in 20 years.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 11:29 AM |
Love At First Sight?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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[QUOTE]it's just that love is much more than a feeling[QUOTE]
someone me, i am very clear that love is much more than a feeling; love is not just something we feel, it's something we do for another and do freely...
so yes, i did have the immediate desire to do for this man, but i first had to meet him and be in relationship with him in order to act on my feelings of love....
when we were formally in relationship, I not only felt love for him but did many things to show him I loved him....I gave freely because of this love.
And it was because of this freely given love that our relationship, when it finally did end, ended in love...not in resentment, anger, hostility, etc. We are still friends today.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 11:58 AM |
Love At First Sight? |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Ahh Angel, let me guess... intelligent, passionate, highly intuitive, but not in the least bit a romanticist nor very touchy feely either?  And you probably would never allow your feelings to guide you just as much as your intelligence either.  I would even go so far as to say that when you have sex with someone, the emotional aspect of it far outweighs the physical pleasure you derive because your heart and soul are in control. Such a lucky guy it will be to get to experience that. 
Not trying to downplay the emotions of love, it's just that when you start talking about love at first site, it's more infatuation in feelings than it is the practicalness of real love. You love the image of what you see and who you make that person out to be in your mind without truly knowing who he/she is, something that takes time spent together to accomplish.
Now if you want to talk about the birth of a child, then I'd have to agree on love at first site. No other experience like that one. 
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 12:48 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Someone me
You have not understood my communications despite my attempts to share my experience and have it understood as my experience.
While you and , there is a sarcasm to your responses that does not communicate a genuine
I have asked for people to speak of their personal experience or thoughts on this question...so speak to your experience and do not try to alter mine based on what you believe or have experienced on this subject.
What you believe and think is quite clear, you have made it clear by down playing or minimizing what I have shared.
I will not address you or your again.
Your experience or thoughts on this question are yours. Own them as yours.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 1:06 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Angel, chill! No need to get all worked up about a message board post, you know.
All you did is prove what I originally thought -- that someone_me read you quite well.
This forum is great fun!
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 1:26 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Ok, sure Mary
I know you think that you're original thought is right, so, you're right, I should and I will chill 
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 1:49 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Lust at first sight, sure, love...maybe. I can't say I've ever experienced an attraction where I was sure we were fated to be together. I've been lucky enough to have a very intense initial attraction develop into a relationship that lasted for years, but that was almost in spite of the attraction. Almost my first thought when I met him was that someone that gorgeous would have to be a jerk, but he turned out to be warm, funny and intelligent. About the only irrational thing I ever noticed in him (aside from the fact that he was equally bowled over by me) was that he believed American women couldn't cook (he was French), but of course I happily humored him in this delusion. Probably what made the relationship so successful was that we were both adventurous types who valued independence highly. While the initial attraction was superheated, it was the ongoing interaction that made it work.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 3:20 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Hey angel...
I guess I missed one thing about you though, a little uptight possibly? A little too far into your own emotions and feelings? And since we are being so serious, if you will go back and reread my post, I did share my experiences on not just one, but two different accounts. As for the sarcasm, you can take it how you please. Doesn't matter to me even though I will say it was more juxtaposition as it was sarcasm. Sorry, it was a backhanded way to state an observation about you. But hey, I've been called worse. Have it your way.
Your first line was, "Do you believe in love at first sight? I do, and was just wondering what your experiences or thoughts on this subject might be." I stated both, experiences and thoughts, but since you are so arrogant to assume I was trying to alter your experience, let me state again... My experience has been that love is something deeper than mere fleeting emotions based on infatuation and romantic ideals. Love is real, it gets down to the nitty gritty about things. It's about caring for others at their worse, not just when the mood is right because you have a candlelit dinner.
My second experience I mentioned about love at first site was the birth of one's own child. That's about as close as I can get to it. Changed me as a person, more than seeing anyone else for the first time ever could. And you know what? I didn't change those stinky diapers because I enjoyed it, but because there was this force, which you apparently like to romanticize, called love, that motivated me to do so.
So there you go, you can choose to live in your own reality. I will live in mine, which I like much better, there's more reality here. So if the bubble was popped, or the parade rained on... Oh well!
[Edited on 11/24/2005 3:24 PM]
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 3:29 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,737
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Angle I think your a prudeand pretty much replied as such a few minutes ago on another thread
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 4:45 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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danae74
Posts: 601
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Damn, I hate to see all these people I like on here fighting on one thread  Maybe there's been a slight turkey overdose, perhaps? Tryptophan can have a strange reaction sometimes...:-)
To answer the question, though, I've been caught up in the "love at first sight" feeling before, and so far, it's never worked out. My experiences have been like Greystone's...eventually, we realized how utterly mismatched we were in almost every way. Not that I don't still like the feeling! I think it's important to recognize that it's a feeling though, and has nothing to do with the long-term potential of the relationship. Enjoy it to the fullest, but keep your head!
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 5:19 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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johnw_6
Posts: 194
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what's going on? No flaming allowed here! - back to work for the lot of u
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 5:49 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,101
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There are different types and levels of love...I believe that you can feel love(as in infatuation, or the excitement of a new love) for someone when first meeting..but true, deep rooted love has to develop over time.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 6:14 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
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yes, angel, there is a such thing as love at first sight. i experienced it twice (i'm still married 2 the second guy). ridiculous? about as ridiculous as thinking all mothers love/bond with their children when kids r left in trash cans, on welfare rolls or at grandparents when said love doesn't materialize.
pete, i had a similiar experience as u (mine wasn't lust). even after i stopped seeing the guy, i still thought about him and even planned to name my son after him (when i was planning to marry n give birth). i still think about him, but not with the intensity as before.
enjoy what u have, angel; not everyone is lucky (or wise) enough to appreciate and experience it.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 6:33 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Apologies for sounding unromantic or clinical, but I never liked the term. It’s confusing because the word LOVE holds a real deep meaning for me and shouldn’t be bandied about lightly (not that you did, Angel). I feel it’s something that can’t be switched on in milliseconds, without a preceding context, but has to be grown and nurtured.
People can fall in or out of love, can instantaneously be physically, emotionally, and intellectually attracted to one another. I also have no doubt people can develop intense love for each other that can last a lifetime after an initial strong attraction, but full blown love at first sight? I have strong reservations.
Lust, attraction, chemistry, adoration are more suitable words that can/should be substituted, but I know how strong the phrase is ingrained in our culture.
Maybe a textbook definition would better illustrate:
Love
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (maternal love for a child) (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (love for his old schoolmates) b : an assurance of love (give her my love)
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (love of the sea)
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration (baseball was his first love) b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind
Nothing in this definition leads me to believe love at first sight between total strangers is in fact real love, but instead a spontaneous, visceral attraction or affection based on “sexual desire, admiration, or common interests”.
Many times I’ve had Lust at first sight, but not Love.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:16 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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Felstaff
Posts: 87
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Call me a hopeless romantic, but I have to totally disagree (for once) with my friend Motown here.
Personally, I believe in love at first sight, only because I know there is a piece of myself floating out there somewhere in the world. I sent it out to find my one true love, and to wait with them until I found them both and could one day be whole again. When I find that piece of myself, I will know I have found the one I am destined to spend what is left of my life with, and will love that person unconditionally from the moment we meet.
Call me a sap, call me corny, but that is my belief, and I have been running on that for 23 years now.
Jonathan
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:23 PM |
Love At First Sight?
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RAKS37
Posts: 617
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Maybe love potential at first site.
Many many times looks and first impressions can be decieving.
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| Nov 24, 2005 @ 10:59 PM |
Love At First Sight? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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lol....no problem, Jonathan. 
It's certainly an ideal to shoot for. I'd love to think we're all Hopeless Romantics at heart.
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