| Dec 13, 2006 @ 12:40 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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albertafire
Posts: 231
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---a former lover sends you a charming gift... 
you are involved with someone else
Do you accept the gift ???? 
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 12:41 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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It depends on what it is. And if I think he's giving it to me with an ulterior motive in mind.
MJ
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 12:43 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,744
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Sure, if hes stupid enough to buy me something. Kinda like being engaged to someone, and they want the ring back. NOPE that ring was GIVEN to the girl. 
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 12:44 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,863
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i would get ahold of the person and tell him your involved and if he wants it back return it if not keep it
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 1:32 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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albertafire
Posts: 231
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thats what i thought also,
TwoTall
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 2:13 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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ash_is_unforgetable
Posts: 837
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Did he know your involved with someone else when he sent the gift? Do you know why he sent the gift? I think it depends on the answer to those and also what type of gift it was.
*AsH
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 2:15 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,701
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I agree with twotall, the key is WHY he's giving you the gift. If it's just because he likes you and wants to remain friends, keep the gift and send him one in return. If it's because he wants to re-establish a romance, tell him you are involved with someone and return the gift.
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 2:24 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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There are a lot of reasons for giving a gift.
Case in point: I went out with a guy last year, he collected pegacorns (winged unicorns). Those are very hard to find, you either see pegasys or unicorns but rarely the combination. Anyway, I'm wandering through a little gift store a few weeks ago and saw this enchanting little palm-sized brass pegacorn, it was just lovely. I immediately thought of David. It wasn't expensive, only about $30, so I bought it and sent it to him. No big deal.
Was he surprised when he got it? Judging by the phone call I got, yes. But he was also thrilled to have it and it made me feel good having given it. No biggie on either side.
Sometimes, we think too hard when we should just smile and say, "thanks."
MJ
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 3:05 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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albertafire
Posts: 231
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that's nice....
depends i guess the thought that is behind it...
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| Dec 13, 2006 @ 3:27 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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When a former lover sends me a gift I keep it. A former lover at least to me is a friend for life. I follow up by a thank you call or card, I feel that is appropriate.
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| Dec 14, 2006 @ 8:40 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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I agree with swingpup. Send a thank you note.
You could explain in the note that you are currently involved with someone.
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| Dec 14, 2006 @ 9:43 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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crackerchickie
Posts: 448
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Depends on what it is and the thought behind it, and also how the person you are now with feels about the gift. If the ex was sending me raunchy bras and underwear to piss off my current flame, I'd probably take a picture of them on the dog, and send it with a thank you note to the ex...I exchanged Christmas presents for years with the ex. No biggie.
Oh yes, if it's a nice and thoughtful gift, and the current one complains, too bad for him.
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| Dec 14, 2006 @ 10:12 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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When I got divorced, I still sent framed pictures of the boys each year to my ex and his folks. When my ex got engaged, the witch called me and told me it was no longer my place to do that. So I figured rather than another feud, SHE could pay for pics herself. 
There was no ulterior motive-it all depends on the giver AND the receiver.
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| Dec 14, 2006 @ 10:17 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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When I got divorced, I still sent framed pictures of the boys each year to my ex and his folks. 
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| Dec 14, 2006 @ 10:44 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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encorrgbl
Posts: 1,390
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Is it wise to subject someone who loves you to even the smallest thought that you might still be interested in someone else?
Really I guess it all depends on the people involved. Some are all ok with it, some might not be. If they are ok. Keep the gift, be happy, if you believe you'd have a problem if someone did that, and you'd wonder about their affections, or if you think the other person would wonder and it all might cause problems, send it back with a, thank you, but no thank you, I'm involved.
The seeds of doubt can grow, and if you notice, foundations of concrete where the roots of trees have grown, have sometimes destroyed that foundation...
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| Dec 17, 2006 @ 8:48 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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luckypassion
Posts: 98
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depends what it is. If its a gift card, id keep it. If its anything else, id get rid of it like it was contagious with some virus from South America.
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 2:54 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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I would return it saying I was involved with someone........if I was involved with someone...
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 2:55 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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chyeah. 
honestly, wouldn't it be kind of nasty to just give it back to them?
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 3:10 AM |
Gifts From Former Lover ?
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hiriya
Posts: 1,378
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like the way toucerin says, but I won't take back a gift given by me 
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| Dec 19, 2006 @ 9:02 PM |
Gifts From Former Lover ? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,523
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...Accept with grace and recycle... 
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