| Dec 17, 2006 @ 9:57 PM |
Fear
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charmer675
Posts: 2
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As they say "there's nothing to fear, but, fear itself"
Having said that, me, being a typical male, my biggest fear, commitment.
My female friends have given up on me, trying to match me.
But, one day, one day, it will happen.
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| Dec 17, 2006 @ 10:28 PM |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,909
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Hi charmer  being a typical male, my biggest fear, commitment I have to ask,how is that "typical"?Sure many men are but I wouldnt agree to that being typical.Anyway,you are a father so you are committed to your child...right?
Maybe think of that committment when you consider having one with a lady.
Love is commitment.
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| Dec 17, 2006 @ 10:37 PM |
Fear
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Think about whatever it is in life you want. Then think about all that you have to give to another. Commit to that and go for it.
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| Dec 17, 2006 @ 11:01 PM |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,356
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charmer ... you sound like a cool guy to me. I'm confident some lucky woman will discover you. Remember that you are just as worthy of having someone to share your life with as anyone else.
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 12:55 AM |
Fear
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Wildkitty
Posts: 361
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As they say "there's nothing to fear, but, fear itself"
Having said that, me, being a typical male, my biggest fear, commitment. I'm right there too..commitment means being vulnerable..someone else can trip your wires, push your buttons, anger you, hurt you, emotionally devastate you..or the flp side really love you for you....something to think about!
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 1:34 AM |
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bevrice
Posts: 11,141
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Really, though, to be able to commit shows emotional maturity, so work towards it, just be careful about whom you choose to commit to. Don't jump on the chemistry bandwagon, chemistry can deceive you. Get to know the person and become friends first. Just my take on this, so do it the way you want.
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 2:47 AM |
Fear
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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I have to say that I have met a few mwn who have a fear of being hurt again.. I say why do you think the next relationship is gonna hurt you? why cant it be the best you have ever had?
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| Dec 18, 2006 @ 3:12 AM |
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hiriya
Posts: 1,378
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Guys nothing to fear as long as you feel your right 
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 3:47 PM |
Fear
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Artemis122
Posts: 623
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is it "surrendering" your Freedom and Independence, OR
simultaneously "yearning for" Stability, Security, Emotional Involvement and Physical Intimacy that really SCARES you??
Having said that, me, being a typical male, my biggest fear, commitment. Kindly Elaborate what you really mean, thanks!! 
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 4:34 PM |
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horselady9
Posts: 144
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I won't answer for him, but I'll answer the same from my perspective, Artemis. Committment takes a leap of faith that some people find nearly impossible to attempt. As a life-long rebel from a family/cultural background that demanded that the woman support/encourage her husband, relinquishing her own dreams or goals other than wife/motherhood, the idea of handing over all that I've achieved to someone in exchange for the offer of 'things' I already provide for myself (40+ years in the work force, own my own home, actually have a LIFE) is a leap I may never feel the confidence to take. Belief in the strength of a relationship, based upon who both individuals are and not their laundry list of credentials or a balance sheet, takes time and effort and trust. Sadly, time isn't an unlimited resource, and especially when you've been down that old road a few times, you have to have serious words with yourself to take it again - thinking this time, perhaps, you won't end up with a broken axle.
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 4:57 PM |
Fear
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,923
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why cant it be the best you have ever had?
...It is typically not a coincidence... that the timing of fading commitment, also coincides with the knowledge it is not the best you ever had... 
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 5:35 PM |
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1cebit2iceshy
Posts: 152
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Fear = little black dress and and a smile that says yes...
Oh God, here I go again..
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| Dec 21, 2006 @ 9:50 AM |
Fear
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dsma
Posts: 272
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I've been hurt in the past, (I know who hasn't )..and it's been awhile since I've had a relationship..I've been seeing someone special for about 3 months now..and I'm surprised I'm not more scared. I don't know where this relationship will go..but I was thinking that whatever happens, I will be ok..I may hurt for awhile, but it won't be so devasting like before. I also know that I would really kick myself if I didn't risk my heart this time, this is a risk I definitely would do again. 
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 2:01 PM |
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Artemis122
Posts: 623
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I won't answer for him, but I'll answer the same from my perspective, Artemis.
Committment takes a leap of faith that some people find nearly impossible to attempt. <<.....>> Belief in the strength of a relationship, based upon who both individuals are and not their laundry list of credentials or a balance sheet, takes time and effort and trust. Sadly, time isn't an unlimited resource, <<.....>> Miss Ann, you've spoken more eloquently and realistically than is offered by the OP so far (I just hope he's not one of those One-Post-Wonders...  )
I agree with you "totally" based on your Perspective in living life, what I was looking for beyond this inquiry is this -- if we cannot handle the "givens" as presented, what will we do with the Unforseen Unknowns later like bad health (breast cancer for women or prostate cancer for men...)??
btw, I also wholeheartedly "understand" what you wrote:
a life-long rebel from a family/cultural background that demanded that the woman support/encourage her husband, relinquishing her own dreams or goals other than wife/motherhood, <<.....>> my cultural heritage "dictated" Order, Obedience & Conformity..... 
To OP from Australia -- if you can Dance & show-off per your profile, how 'bout a Word, or a Sentence, or a Paragraph as a Response... Or we need to insert a long Commercial here..... 
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 3:21 PM |
Fear
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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I do not fear committment, I fear being screwed over again which effects my desire to commit.
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 3:26 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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I do not fear committment, I fear being screwed over again which effects my desire to commit.
Same here, but I don't see the difference between them...
(If I hadn't screwed up in my choices so badly in the past, I might have a little more faith in my 'man picker' now)
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 3:54 PM |
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Aries361
Posts: 273
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Won't desparation overwhelm the fear at some point?
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 3:55 PM |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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Is it fear or is the excitement produced by the adrenaline rush of dating that feels like fear.
It's always better IMO to try and fail then to fail to try. 
Commitment is something that personally I have never feared, it's the expected monogamy that is my concern once I have committed. 
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 7:16 PM |
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Checkmate
Posts: 185
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Won't desparation overwhelm the fear at some point?
Yes! Until you step out from the wall you've built around your feelings and get hammered again!  And the vicious cycle starts all over again!
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 7:27 PM |
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Raiynth
Posts: 461
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Of course, desperation isn't exactly a great platform from which to enter a relationship either.
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