| Dec 28, 2006 @ 6:15 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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Aries361
Posts: 273
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What are the qualities that attract women to men? It seems to be something that cannot be transmitted over the internet. I have heard stories of people e-mailing and talking over the phone for months and they get along fine. But when they meet there seems to be none of that chemistry. I know women who say they will not do internet dating becasue they can't get a sense of chemistry that way. What the heck is it? Looks? Smell? Mannerisms? The voice?
I remember when I was a young lad and I thought all you had to do was be kind and considerate to a woman who you were attracted to and eventually she would see you as a potential bf. But after a time I saw that this was totally wrong. I asked women and it seems that they are either attracted to a guy or not - and they know it within minutes of meeting. That is the second part of the question. How long does it take to sense the chemistry?
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 6:38 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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Being a guy I can't answer for the women...but I think that it really goes both ways if a person is actually looking for a potential partner. I can usually tell within minutes of meeting someone if there would be chemistry or not.
I have always been a firm believer in the fact that...you can't always tell if someone is the right one, but you can always tell if they are not.
I don't know that there would be one single answer to your question since there are usually several elements involved as to the preferences of what a person is looking for in a partner. JMO
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 6:42 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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DipityDoo
Posts: 377
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I think you've answered your own question in two parts...yes, looks, smell, mannerisms, voice...and yes, being kind and considerate too.
For me...being kind and considerate (and truly kind and considerate...from the heart, not just from a display of good manners) is essential, but won't guarantee attraction. The other factors...looks, smell (or phermones, I guess), mannerisms and voice...as well as brains and personality...all come into play for me.
I have met a about 5 or 6 men over the internet. 2 I have been extremely attracted to, and one I fell in love with. He and I are compatible on just about every level. The others? Not so much. But looking back...those two I found myself attracted to have the physical characteristics that I find myself drawn to again and gain. The others didn't. And the one...while not the better looking of the two..... has the personality I'm in love with. :) We emailed for a while before being able to meet, and from the tone and topics of the emails...it just seemed we went together very well. I think our personalities shown through in the emails, so we were able to get a sense of each other.
Maybe it comes down to this...if the people involved have a strong sense of what they tend to seek/like/be attracted to, internet dating will work better for them.
Of course...we can't rule out incredible, incredible luck on my part either. :)
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 6:54 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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Aries361
Posts: 273
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For me it can take a long time to sense the chemistry. I know a couple of women who I knew for a few months before I became attracted. I tried being very attentive to the first one, getting her a birthday present, then her favorite flowers, and I even found out her dog's birthday. No luck - no date. Nothing. Apparently I lack that chemisry for her. I still see her around sometimes. She has never married and she broke up with some guy that she had as a bf for a couple of months.
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 6:57 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Because in real life you can never live up to the fantasy.
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 7:23 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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Gosh-just look at Deb, er Silver....who could NOT find him irresistable? 
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 7:35 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Irresistable is not a word I would use to describe me! More like workaholic or readaholic
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 7:38 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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icequeen241
Posts: 26
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I can't say it is any one thing that I find attractive. With each man I have been in a relationship with, the attraction has been something different. Sometimes it's how they look, sometimes it is their personality. Sometimes it is something intanglible. Who knows...
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 8:12 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,619
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I tried being very attentive to the first one, getting her a birthday present, then her favorite flowers, and I even found out her dog's birthday. No luck - no date. Nothing.
Truthfully, if a man I hadn't dated got me flowers or a birthday present, I'd probably react the way she did. It smacks of desperation, one of the least attractive/attracting attributes possible.
As for chemistry, I've often wondered myself. It's not usually that immediate for me, but my triggers are generally the voice, the eyes and the walk (oh, and a shaved head.OMG). If there's any attraction between you at all, making eye contact usually makes it really obvious...at least that's what I've found. Even then, if the personalities clash, all bets are off.
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| Dec 28, 2006 @ 8:19 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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His voice, his manners, his personality just to name a few..at least that was it for me. 
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 4:10 AM |
Chemistry of attraction
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Its just this feeling that you have when your standing face to face with them.....The same feeling when you catch their eye
And there might be a chemistry when chatting online or on the phone...but it can be gone in the second that you meet them.........Thats the main reason I wont talk to someone very long if arrangements arent made to meet.....
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 4:28 AM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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Its just this feeling that you have when your standing face to face with them.....The same feeling when you catch their eye
Can we all say AMEN to this???? 
I think you could sit all day long and list the characteristics of the person that you THINK you'd find that chemistry with, and if the exact person you described walked into the room, you wouldn't know if that chemistry existed or not until you looked each other in the eye. Then again, how many of us have met someone that just was NOT our "type" - but felt that inexplicable something that we all refer to as chemistry.
Everything can be in someone's favor, but that initial meeting, that first time you come face to face and look each other directly in the eye - THAT's when you know if there is or is not any real chemistry between the two of you, and not a moment before.
Just....MHO.....
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 4:46 AM |
Chemistry of attraction
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lell
Posts: 1,458
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AMEN - just sooo totally agree
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 5:10 AM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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I knew you would be one who understands this Jester.... 
and I agree not a minute before..
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 5:48 AM |
Chemistry of attraction
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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that and if she knows the differance between a phillips and flat head screw driver 
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 7:08 AM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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I never studied chemistry in school
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 8:08 AM |
Chemistry of attraction
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,619
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I was vice president of the chemistry club... 
But yep to Painter and Jester, that's what I meant when I said eye contact makes it obvious. If you want to get technical, we show our reaction because our pupils dilate - there ain't no hiding it or faking it.
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 12:40 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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Painter--Its just this feeling that you have when your standing face to face with them.....The same feeling when you catch their eye
true 
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 12:54 PM |
Chemistry of attraction
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Twotall.....I know the difference between a phillips, flathead.......and a knuckle and a panhead.....lol I used to tell my sons to get me a phillips screw driver and would say it looks like your lips when you pucker up.
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| Dec 29, 2006 @ 1:43 PM |
Chemistry of attraction |
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horselady9
Posts: 144
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Heh heh... how about an 18V cordless, with full set of heads/bits/augers/etc?
Says she, having grown up in a family that owned one screwdriver, and my dad didn't even know that phillips existed... just thought some screws looked funny.
Tools! Gimme TOOLS!!!
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