| Jan 11, 2007 @ 6:28 AM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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Recall848
Posts: 55
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I must admit I am a current member of "Match".When I read the women's profiles in the category I'm searching. I have found the women in this category of Match require alot of things inorder to be interested in a man.It's akind of an auction.As a man, I must say looks are very important to me usually.Kind and considerate,etc, person.I believe I look for traits.They want material things.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 7:21 AM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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mogrl1000
Posts: 258
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So you are saying that all women want material things.Hmm,ok.Whatever.
So why do men always go by looks instead of personality?
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 7:23 AM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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robodad
Posts: 5,866
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Hey, Pali....can I have my parking stub validated? 
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 7:38 AM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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So your saying if she looks good she can have your material things?
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 8:57 AM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,318
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Does the topic here even "match" the content of the thread? 
BTW, I don't believe you can generalize for either gender.
A man that looks at only looks is just as (shallow?) as a gal that wants material things!
If a person only looks at profiles of "nice-looking" people, they could be missing out on the love of their life. (and some people, like me, take horrible pictures) 
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:10 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,028
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Recall,
The reasons are as basic human nature itself. Men are hardwired in their brains to be more visually orientated. Their first instinct is to look to see if a possible mate is attractive to them. Now that does not mean that attractiveness is the same for all men. The variety of tastes is as varied as there are men and women.
With women, they are hardwired to seek security. They have a natural nesting instinct that makes them want to make sure no one messes with their basic needs being met. Thus they look to make sure that a potential mate has the means and ability to provide a secure lifestyle for them.
Both of these instincts can be twisted into bad character traits by unhealthy mental image, mental health, and uresolved issues stemming from bad relationships.
So if you are going to discern between what is a normal instinct and what is bad character, you first have to be healthy yourself. Then you can find the balance.
Of course, these are generalizations and there will always be exceptions to the rules. So there is no need for protests! Besides as Shakespeare said. "Methinks thou dost protest too loudly"
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:25 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,906
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So why do men always go by looks instead of personality?
False premise; they don't. To put it simply, I want both.
There are a zillion gorgeous women to look at. BUT...
I am not interested in having a relationship with someone based on her looks alone (except perhaps a purely physical one, but only in fantasy because I don't do that kind of thing in reality).
OK so, I might be interested in looking at her, or even fantasizing about her, but I would have no interest in having any kind of relationship with her unless I also found her attractive in other ways.
How many of you (men or women) have had the experience of seeing someone you thought was extremely physically attractive, but, as soon as they opened their mouth, all the attraction was gone? Well this is what I am talking about. It happens to me a lot.
Both looks and personality are things that attract me. I really can't see having a romantic relationship with someone unless I am attracted to both.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:27 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,906
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Excellent post Dukums.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 4:14 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
Neither, men nor women. Unfortunately Self absorbency, Shallowness, and the condition of suffering from an Identity Crisis seem to be an equal opportunity activity. (BTW) All men as well as all women share no traits other than body parts.
BTW, I don't believe you can generalize for either gender.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 4:15 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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DR....excellent comment in regards to...."as soon as they open their mouth"
Talking is dangerous for a important reason...The human voice not only reveals your intentions... but also your background, education, etc.
Your intentions are made known by the iflictions and intonations while speaking.
So by "how" you are talking to a person, more than "what" you are saying, can
attract or repel a potential mate.........
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 5:15 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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robodad said:
Hey, Pali....can I have my parking stub validated?
No validation required, hon. You have a free pass. 
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 5:32 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,701
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Women seem to need more validation about the size and shape of their ass.
Men need more about the size of their dick, and whether they know how to use it.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 5:35 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,318
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 6:49 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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Red69Sun
Posts: 1,100
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As a woman, I find very few other women to be so worried about the size and shape of their bumm ........you KNOW if you have too much "junk in the trunk" or not.......you don't need outside validation of it.....or not.
I agree with Dukums.......his post here is "spot on" and very well said.
I think it depends on the individual person and their own levels of self-esteem (or lack thereof) that they seem to require outside validation of themselves......know yourself.....and you won't need that validation from others......you'll already know who you are and your strengths and weaknessess........good traits and areas to work on. Both men and women experience low self-esteem issues from time to time......no exclusives!
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 8:50 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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loisday
Posts: 1,333
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Somebody has been screwing with my wires!!!! I'm hardwired to provide my own security....I'm looking for that cute a$$
Silver............. 
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 9:10 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,343
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^^^^^^^^^^^^
If I'd been hardwired for security, I'd never have picked my ex...I'd have gone with the architect who brought along his stock portfolio when he proposed to me...
 
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 9:50 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women?
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,906
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As a woman, I find very few other women to be so worried about the size and shape of their bumm ........you KNOW if you have too much "junk in the trunk" or not.......you don't need outside validation of it.....or not.
I have to agree with this notion. My experience has been that women are astonishingly aware and even accepting of their own physical shortcomings when it comes to appearance. I have been aware of this for a long time and observed it from time to time. It's truly astonishing to me that they could be so resolute to accept these things in spite of their believing that this or that makes them less attractive to men.
I'm not talking about things like hair color or makeup that can be changed. Obviously most women are religious about doing what they can in that area. I'm talking about things like body style, bone structure, facial structure, etc. I'm amazed at how realistic most women seem to be about their own body image.
I think men are not as realistic or accepting of their own physical shortcomings in this regard. As a matter of fact -- and I never really thought about this before -- I think this is another one of the things that is intrinsically different between men and women.
But it may just be part of a larger difference between men and women that I have believed for a long time; that women are just more realistic and practical than men. Men tend to be more of a dreamer. As I think about it, this is really just one example in that belief.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 11:31 PM |
Who requires more validation from the other person? Men or women? |
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tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
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Recall, you are saying women want material things. Maybe its the type of woman you reach out to and show interest in.
In you saying looks are important to you it sounds to me like your the one looking for something material as in an object....... rather than to make a connection with someone.
Seems to me you need to reassess your so called "catagory".
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