| Jan 19, 2007 @ 10:53 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
|
Did anyone see it?
The first segment it had a woman who was aggressive in dating and persuing men. They agreed she scared men off. Then the advice to her was as follows:
Do not show interest
If your out on a date and having a good time, cut it short and tell him to have to go now.
Many things like that. According to Greg ( and his show) dating is viewed as a game and he said that people come and go into your life and you look for one that sticks. For this particuar woman his advice was she should look for someone to persue her and not pay for dates, buy any tokens of affection and simply let him persue her.
hmm.
I found it all kinda crazy to be having a good time and meeting someone you like, then cutting it short and saying you have to go but that is what he told her to do.
It was all very shallow and I was wondering what kind of quackey they are pronoting about dating ?
After all Greg Berhart is married !
so............ the talk show curcuit I feel is one of the worst places to get GOOD dating advice but the advice pours from these talk show hosts like him and Dr. Phil who are married and have never even done the internet dating curcuit.
What are your opinions about this and do you feel like dating is all a game? Would you intentionally snub someone you didnt like in order to date them?
?
|
|
  |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 12:23 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
Loreli
Posts: 20,319
|
Do not show interest
If your out on a date and having a good time, cut it short and tell him to have to go now.
Don't know what that could possibly prove...
Dating isn't a game, and nobody should play with people...
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 12:32 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
|
I feel the same way
but....... these syndicated talk shows and their hosts ( like Greg and Dr. Phil)
say differently.
I met someone from online ( after a bunch of fakes and frauds I had to quickly dismisss) and there were no games. I met a nice person who was sincere and still had the capacity to love even after a divorce. He works and has a good job and is a legit and good person. There were no games.
Makes me wonder if all the hoopla being preached on the talk shows is to promote dating site subscrptions and not make match's.
I don't know what to make of GREG's advice. he said ( quoting directly )
"dating is a game"... makes me glad I'm not dating or married to him or dr. phil. Got to wonder about the women they are married to... they must like men who are emotionally boys or something
?
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 12:54 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
|
Greg Bernhart wrote "He's Just Not That Into You", didn't he? A bit trite but nonetheless I found it quite a little eye-opener.
I didn't see the show but suspect his point is simply that "most" men, at a very primal level, need to feel they have done well by "capturing" someone special to them. This isn't to say the old-school rules should dictate dating behavior, but simply to understand that it's also human nature to want most what we don't or can't have and so it is sometimes actually wise to not put all your cards on the table right at the very beginning. To consider letting a relationship unfold, enjoying the beginning, the discovery period, using that to build a solid foundation from which to move forward instead of just jumping into something cold because there's perhaps "chemistry". If you want something long-term, there has to be compatability on ALL levels. This doesn't make for good tv ratings, though....
As for Dr. Phil, I personally admire both him and his wife. Married for 30 years, they have both worked hard to get what they have, neither one had anything handed to them, and they are now enjoying the fruits of their labor. Sure, I often lament the stupidity that appears on his show, but also understand the importance of ratings. And despite that, frankly don't hear him tell anyone anything different than what he's been saying for years now, regardless the seeming lameness of their situation. Unfortunately, some people DO need another to look them in the eye and say, "Well, duh!"
I don't think it's a game to take better care of your heart when first entering into a relationship. Holding back until trust is established on a step-by-step, day-to-day basis is just wise. It's ok to want what you want, too. Just don't take another's reaction to your choices personally, understand the inherent consequences, and be able to live with them.
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 1:51 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
|
Greg was a co-author of that book and he also wrote for sex in the city shows...
Sex and the city is a HBO comedy about the lives of 4 single women in NYC who are also into games.
Seems to me, lots of money to be made from people writing books giving bad advice.... keeps them coming back for more I guess.
I thought his advice was crappy advice. I didnt play games and I met someone.
Maybe thats all Greg knows... and why they chose him to be a "sex and the city" writer?
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 2:23 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
academicgirl
Posts: 161
|
How else would we meet and get to know other people? I don't think dating should be a game  . Although, if I don't go on one soon, I'm going to forget what it is like!!!   
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 2:54 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
|
I am feeling like much advice about dating, from so called authorities... much if it is only to sell books and make money for the bad advice givers.... not to actually help anyone.
The primary thing to do if you want to meet people is get out there and do something you like doing. It will put you in situations to meet others who are like minded and share some of your interests and maybe your values too. There is no game to that.. its just common sense.
the Dr. Phil ( and Greg ) advice is just over the top.
Greg's advice to this woman when she met someone she really liked was to act busy and leave dates early. If thats not playing games, I dont know what is. THAT IS JUST CRAZY!!!!!
I would have never made a connection with my now bf if I did any of that stuff....
I just can't believe the so called expert and professional advice being given like on Greg and dr phil shows. Its just making fools out of people who take the advice.
ps... in case there is anyone who does not realize this, SEX AND THE CITY's genre is "comedy"... anyone who would live as those women did would not end up as well as they did. For one Samantha screwed half of New York City ( as she claims on the show) would certainly have Aids as well as several other STD's including hepatitis... and be sick... at home or in a nursing home or hospital, not out dating.
shesh.... TV is not reality people and be careful of who's advice you take... seems the experts see you as easy money an target singles to make themselves some easy money playing pop psychologists. Back on topic......
You would be better off getting advice from teenagers than listen to the new crop of experts out there. I feel they are making fools out of people. They are out to sell books, make money off people, not help anyone.
At least it sure seem that way to me.... if you play games you will find someone who likes games and that is not eactly partner material or someone your going to be able to stay with... hence you break up and they are betting you go buy more books or seek more pop psychology advice.... makeing them richer from your mistakes... the advice they give
only serves to line greedy pockets, not help you find who your looking for.
[Edited on 1/19/2007 3:00 PM]
[Edited on 1/19/2007 3:02 PM]
[Edited on 1/19/2007 4:49 PM]
[Edited on 1/19/2007 4:50 PM]
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 2:59 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
Dukums
Posts: 1,028
|
Well If the lady was very aggressive at the very beginning of the relationship, I would run. Not because I was playing any type of game, but because it would cause me to feel she was needy or desperate. However if I felt there was the "come here...go away" game going on I would go away and never come back. That game would communicate to me that the lady was fickle or wounded and not ready for a serious relationship.
Of course I am just plain tired of the games, the litmus tests, the chemistry courses in 1 date or less, and the unreal expectations. Can you tell I am feeling jaded this morning? LOL 
|
| |
|
| Jan 19, 2007 @ 6:33 PM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
dooney123
Posts: 3,446
|
I don't agree with Greg's advice. I don't think you have to play games to interest a man. On my first date with my husband, we kept going to different places and seeing different things, because we didn't want the evening to end. Then, he asked me out the next night, and he asked me again every night after that. There were only 3 days that we didn't spend time together the entire 3 years we dated before we got married, and 2 of them were because I went out of town for a wedding. Of course, we're getting a divorce now (after dating/being married for 11 1/2 years), but it still proves that you don't have to play games to get a man interested.
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 20, 2007 @ 3:33 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
candylily
Posts: 1,347
|
Well If the lady was very aggressive at the very beginning of the relationship, I would run. Not because I was playing any type of game, but because it would cause me to feel she was needy or desperate. My son has told me before he looks at it exactly as you do, Dukums. No guy likes to be put in the awkward position of having to tell a girl in very plain language that he's not interested in her.
Whether a guy writes a book about it or not, I believe men are in a better position to know what kinds of behaviors scare men off just as women know the most common types of mistakes that men make in dating. I'm very interested in hearing men's perspectives about women, sex, and relationships. I already know how women think.
|
| |
|
| Jan 20, 2007 @ 4:31 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,701
|
Aggressive women don't bother me a bit, in fact I kind of like it. Now that advice about "if you're having a good time, cut it short and say you have to go", all that would do is convince me she wasn't interested, and I'd move on. This guys advice sounds like the games teenagers play, I'm much to old to play stupid kid games.
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 20, 2007 @ 4:58 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
loisday
Posts: 1,333
|
The game playing advice is a big turn off..IMO, and aggresslve seems to be such an overpowering action. But, there is nothing wrong with assertive. Again, JMO
|
| |
|
| Jan 20, 2007 @ 10:44 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07
|
|
ladymarshall
Posts: 104
|
Would you want someone playing the game with you? No I dont think so,,,aggressive will turn a guy off,,,assertive they feel that you are independent and can stand on your own,,,makes it more of a turn on to them,,,,,,
|
|
| |
|
| Jan 20, 2007 @ 11:17 AM |
Greg Bernhart dating advice show airing 1/18/07 |
|
tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
|
So Greg told this woman who had an issue with being too aggressive to start playing games. Hmmm. I swear I have been thinking about his advice for days and I just can't see the logic in it.
As I see it, what goes around, comes around and if you play games you will end up with a game player.
They need to take Dr. phil, Greg Bernhart and follow them when they divorce in the "real world".... now that would be entertaining !!!! 
|
| |
|
|
|
|