| Jan 27, 2007 @ 12:18 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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Ok ladies,I am asking for your help. If many of you are probably on this site because you are now single, and you probably left an assh*le of some sorts.Most profiles mention something about hating " games " or "headgames". So what exactly is it, that would turn you off to a guy who is just shy, and being polite ( as he has been raised his whole life)? Does it really make the guy appear weak? And what exacly is the difference between being a gentleman and being too nice? Is being an indifferent assh*le really that attractive ?
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:19 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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Clearwaterblues
Posts: 8
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I wish I could give you a good answer for this. It is amazing how so many women are grabbing for the "baddies." It's not as exciting maybe? We like the pain but won't say it? I hate the pain and the games but chose an a-hole over a really great guy once only because I was not attracted to the nice guy physically.
The bad guy however wasn't so hot but I stayed for unknown reasons. I thought I loved him but after so much abuse I had to leave. I know I didn't answer anything or make any sense but good luck finding this answer.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:34 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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I actually prefer the nice guys. I met a nice guy here on MD that I'm now dating. My one complaint is he is not assertive enough, but we've talked about that and he's working on it. But why the heck would I want to be around someone who is rude and crude and acts badly? I'm a teacher and have to model for my students. I try to teach them manners and respect. I expect that in return.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:43 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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Very good question blue. I'm interested in reading the comments from the gals on this one. I've seen posts where guys state that they have much better luck with women when they act like buttheads. I have a hard time believing that...but maybe it's true.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:46 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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Guess that means I'm in the minority then huh TRS?
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:54 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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sign...I would hate to think that, but sometimes it makes me wonder. It is nice to know that there are some women who do still prefer the nice guys.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 1:55 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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CaNaturalBlonde
Posts: 1,809
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I def prefer the nice guy.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 2:04 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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budo13
Posts: 3,609
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oh god i'm sunk  nice but bad
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 2:09 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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CaNaturalBlonde
Posts: 1,809
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Ya but yer a good bad. 
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 2:11 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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guys state that they have much better luck with women when they act like buttheads
Buttheads don't have a chance in hell with me.
Neither do wusses.
Confident and nice (with a touch of "naughty freshness" at the right times ) is probably what that proverbial "most women" really appreciate.
Being TOO shy is likely to get you passed by, no matter how much a gentleman and genuine nice person you are...you can be "assertive" without being a jerk! 
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 4:24 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Not all left a**holes.....sometimes things just dont work..and being a bad boy (unless hes bad with me, wink) has no appeal.
I have said I am just wanting a nice guy. Someone who knows what he wants and isnt afraid to go after it.
Being shy is ok but sometimes you can be overlooked and if your responses are limited it may be taken as a sign that your not interested. Yes, some women do dig the bad boy, mean, cocky guy.........but thats not me.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 4:47 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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theophilus037
Posts: 39
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Confident and nice (with a touch of "naughty freshness" at the right times ) is probably what that proverbial "most women" really appreciate.
I totally agree with sunbabe....
I think one of the biggest things that get guys labeled a "nice guy" is when hes always there! Guys should be nice, and be there when the girl needs them but at the same time you dont have to be there for every little thing to make it all better. Some "nice guys" don't hold alot of confidence either which is a huge turn on (confidence)...if you don't think your attractive or don't think your worth someone to love then your probably not. Not trying to be harsh but you have to have some confidence in yourself, half of what people think of you is what you believe about yourself. And yea, your don't have to be an asshole to us but at times (just like guys!!!) a girl needs to be put in her place...it can be done nicely, but often "nice guys" won't say anything cause they don't want to be "mean". And if you want to catch our eye by being a "badie" you don't have to actually be bad...lots of times girls just enjoy the excitement that comes from "badies". Take us on an adventure something a bit crazy and different...something to get us out of our shell or comfort zone and let us have fun with you and just feel free! Thats kind of what a "badie" does for me anyway 
So yea, of course girls don't want games or assholes;you can be a respecting and gentle lad and still win our hearts.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 8:16 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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I try to be nice with caution until i get to know them because if your too nice they shy away
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 9:16 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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myperogative
Posts: 39
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Hmmmm........I just run into the guys who are the as*holes! If you haven't found a woman who appreciates a gentleman, just hold yer head up and keep on going.
I just know there's a gentleman somewheres around here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 9:18 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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I like nice guys, but the sad thing is, a lot of them are wimps.
Being polite and shy is not a sign of weakness, however, its sometimes hard to know if a shy guy is interested.
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 9:44 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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redtigr
Posts: 664
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Sometimes guys confuse nice with invisible. If a man is too shy to speak, or too intimidated to say what's on his mind, or so fearful of offending that he just agrees with everything you say... well... sorry, but that's not about being nice, it's about not being anything. How can you be intrigued by a man who just fades into the background? Women want to be enticed and engaged intellectually and personally - that's what makes a relationship interesting.
I look for a man with good character traits and values... and I don't think I could love a man who was a jerk or who treated me badly. But having said that, I want a man who will stand up to me when necessary - meaning he'll tell me what he thinks. I won't respect a man who doesn't voice his own opinions - but I certainly won't respect a bad boy or a jerk - and there's nothing attractive about an a$$hole. I think there are women who believe as a$$ will change "just for them" - and it strokes their egos to believe this, even for a short time.
Be polite, yes, of course, there's charm in good manners, but don't be a "yes" man. And remember no one wants someone that it seems anyone can have. It's not the way to attract someone.
Cultivate your own attributes; a guy can't be too nice, but he can be a bore if he's just not there. I don't see it being about games at all, just that some give and take is natural in a relationship... that's give and take... not just give..
[Edited on 1/27/2007 10:20 AM]
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 9:54 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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winterrenegade
Posts: 1,528
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JMO i am one of the nice guys, i believe in helping ladies out of the blue, opening doors for them, letting them walk through the dor first *no not just so i can look at their butts* but i also know when too stand up and speak my mind. i have come too find that if you just be yourself and take chances you will get a head in life further. again JMO
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 10:16 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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the thread is guys who are "TOO NICE " now there is a big big difference between being nice ...  and "TOO NICE" 
I like nice but there are a breed of men who go on about how nice they are .. so that then becomes not nice. 
Too nice can also be smothering. 
Too nice can be boring and caught in the Doormat Trap. 
Too Nice can be invisable. 
there is a fine line ... cross and become one of the above  a Relationship should be Give and Take .. 50/50 JMHO of course
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 10:25 AM |
Guys who are "too nice"
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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Have you ever considered pulling your fkn big boy pants on? A lot of guys spend a lifetime blowing smoke up womens skirts, trying to be the nicest butthead within the herd....be a man, act like one. They know you're one, it's obvious from the dangly thing between your knees...well, sometimes. People who are "too" nice are hiding something, usually a mental problem. To steal a saying from someone I get a boner over, don't be velcro... Sure, have respect for them...for everyone...just don't be a slobbering lapdog. Being too sweet or nice is just fkn odd, but have at it...but don't go wondering why your girlfriend is dating me....I'll take good care of her for ya...errrr....or would have...not anymore of course...
I have no want nor need to eat my dinner through a straw...
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| Jan 27, 2007 @ 10:30 AM |
Guys who are "too nice" |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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blueyes101 said:
And what exacly is the difference between being a gentleman and being too nice?
When I have my head up my butt, a "too nice guy" will just sit there and nod his head. He won't voice his opinion about the situation that's bothering me, he'll only try to soothe and smooth things over. He'll pour sugary syrup onto the carbonated, caffeinated mixture, which, in the end, is unable to create anything substantial or constructive between us.
A gentleman, on the other hand, will merely call the proctologist and make sure I get to my appointment.
( ... smart man, my guy; he knows straws are bad things .... )
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