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Is Unconditional Love Extinct?


Dec 5, 2007 @ 3:44 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
McLovin450


Posts: 297
Is Unconditional Love Extinct?

Yes, it died off with the last two dinosaurs......they were dug up recently......still embraced in an unconditional stone hug of passion.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 3:51 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Heaveninawildflower


Posts: 22,712
Nope, not me. We're what we do, not what we can do. We're the product not just of what's happened to us, but the choices we've made. I married a man for what I thought he was, I divorced him because I was totally wrong. Maybe it's just me, but no way can I love someone I feel total contempt for. Love's not just about some idealistic generalized love for humankind...it's been said that the biggest problem this world faces is that we all love humankind, it's just the guy sitting next to us that we have a problem with. And if that guy's a child abuser, as my ex was, there's no way I'm gonna love him...could you say you love someone who makes your skin crawl if he touches you, even the most casual touch?

And if I can't love someone who I couldn't trust to be alone with my kids, how could I say that I can love unconditionally?
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:01 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,915
I had to check this topic to see if I already replied and said yes, so I didn't seem like a hypocrite with this reply.

I'm sorry if I sound negative or like a killjoy.

Please don't attack or flame me. Just respect my opinion, OK?

I don't believe it exists, even between children and parents. Perhaps the only evidence I have of unconditional love in my own life is between my cat Meeko and I. I have loved her through everything for 13 years, even when she pissed on my bed, and she has loved me through everything....even though there are so many reasons NOT to love me.

My parents are an example of how there ISN'T unconditional love between parents and children. I'm not going into it, but there are people here who know why, and trust me...they just are.

I don't believe unconditional love exists in relationships for a few reasons.

1) There's always going to be that one thing that you just don't like about your partner. I'm not going to lie: Rolf and I don't like each others' political opinions. I don't like his brand of "racial conservatism"...which he calls "White Nationalism", and he doesn't like my late 60s/early 70s era hippie style and opinions, tied in with my recent re-discovery of the Hare Krishna sect. We respect it because we have to to keep the relationship together, but we don't like it and secretly....we both wish we could change it. That's been expressed between the two of us. I am not saying there is no respect between us for the others' opinions or that we can't see why each holds the separate opinion, but we would like to try to convince the other that they are wrong. I am also not saying there is no good in the relationship to balance with the bad.

2) This is a major part of Generation Y, but I see it all the time with the older generations too....relationships today are not relationships on a personal level. We don't date people who we like on a personal level or who we respect, we date people who our friends will approve of physically, and as soon as they don't anymore, we drop them like garbage because we don't want to get crap from them. That is NOT unconditional love. A person who has unconditional love would say: "I don't care what you say, I love him/her, and if you don't like, f*** off or deal with it".

And a parent who shuts their kid out...because of how they dress/they are gay/they have a mental illness/they have piercings or tattoos/any other reason has NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for their child...PERIOD.

If unconditional love exists, it is a rare commodity that I have personally never seen or experienced.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:03 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
ISSUESWOPTIONS


Posts: 6,415
but but LGQ....



(runs off crying)
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:05 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
twotall911


Posts: 12,696
me too
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:06 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,915
what'd i do?
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:18 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
katydid438


Posts: 7,589
To me unconditional love revolves around our children and our pets. To spout unconditional love in an adult relationship is delusional at best. Mind you, there are many who would position themselves as door mats all in the name of love, as if that is the only position that they deserve
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:22 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Empath


Posts: 5,327
what'd i do?
Nothing hon, they're playing with you, but you knew that.

She just poured out her heart here you two....shame on you!! Have a bit of respect, will you?


Heaven....although it is tough sometimes, and I mean really really tough...yes, I do still love the person who makes my skin crawl. I would still "do" for them if they needed something I could give. I suppose it's because I realize that there are ALWAYS reasons for why someone does things. Those reasons may not be right, or good ones, but it is all that person has or knows. Even they deserve to be loved.


And that, in MY opinion, is what Christianity is supposed to be all about, and the lack of it, is why I walked away from the Church and chose Spirituality instead.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:27 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,915
yes, I do still love the person who makes my skin crawl. I would still "do" for them if they needed something I could give.


see, as spiritual as i am...
i wouldn't give him anything

i mean two specific people.

i hold grudges terribly.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:34 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Empath


Posts: 5,327
For all those who do not believe in unconditional love, remember this:

all that you send out in the cosmos, comes back to you tenfold.


It's a truth I have seen personally, good and bad. Some refer to it as karma, but I am certain different folks have different names for it.



Now, I am leaving before I make this into a spiritual thread instead of D&R.

Oh...wait....since it's in the D&R forum, I should make my view of unconditional love clear as it relates to romance.......

Romantic love is conditional in its very nature, and is not the love I spoke of here.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:37 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,915
Some refer to it as karma

Karma's a different thing entirely.

Maybe unconditional love exists...I mean who am I to say?

But what I am saying is that except for my cat it has never happened to me and therefore I think it's rare...and impossible in romantic relationships.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:42 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Empath


Posts: 5,327
all that you send out in the cosmos, comes back to you tenfold.

that's not karma?? then I have a serious misunderstanding happening.


Unconditional love is RARE, LGQ.....very very rare. But it is sooooo peace giving.... in both directions, it's worth trying to reach.


I still hold that romantic love and unconditional (spiritual) love are different animals.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:43 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,915
Yeah, the idea that karma is "what you do comes back to you" is something that was taken by the hippies who were involved in Eastern religions and twisted.

Karma is actually the Eastern idea that what you do in this life will affect your next life.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 4:57 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
katydid438


Posts: 7,589
Em..Spiritual love and romantic love are indeed two different beasts
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:00 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Empath


Posts: 5,327
Karma is actually the Eastern idea that what you do in this life will affect your next life.

Oh great. So, no matter how I've improved in this life, I'll still have to deal with my earlier mistakes??

anyway I can opt out of the next life???
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:02 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
candylily


Posts: 876
You're right about the distinction, Em. Romantic love is always conditional unless we're masochists or in complete denial. I had to leave my husband because I could no longer live with someone who's behavior towards me was anything but loving. I didn't hate him but I had enough self-love and preservation to know I had to get out. I had to admit it the day a former co-worker came to my house to tell me that her alcoholic and controlling husband had died in his sleep. We had seen each other over the years in stores and always ended up talking for hours about our situations because we were going through the same things. When I realized I felt envy when she said her husband had died, I was shocked at my feelings but it made me realize just how miserable I really was even with my beautiful home and everything else we had. She had to come see me because she knew I was the only one who could understand that her nightmare was finally over and that I wouldn't judge her negatively for it. Obviously she couldn't even tell other people about those feelings of relief at his death. He was the father of her 3 kids whom she loved completely.
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:07 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
ISSUESWOPTIONS


Posts: 6,415
She just poured out her heart here you two....shame on you!! Have a bit of respect, will you?


Sowwy maam... ....sulks out the room....
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:11 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
kissmya55


Posts: 145
I guess it depends on the conditions....
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:15 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
Empath


Posts: 5,327
I guess it depends on the conditions....
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Dec 5, 2007 @ 5:33 PM Is Unconditional Love Extinct?    
kattsmeow


Posts: 27,170
And a parent who shuts their kid out...because of how they dress/they are gay/they have a mental illness/they have piercings or tattoos/any other reason has NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for their child...PERIOD.


Lol, LGQ, have you looked some of the pics on my MySpace of my sons??

lol
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